05 August, 2015

Career scope for women today

When you think about career-women in the 2010’s, in urban India, you imagine a smartly-dressed executive, in high-flung, jet-setting jobs, who has it all. But the fact that this image does not give you the full picture, would be an understatement.
Our parent’s generation was the first, when the middle-class women started working. Only a few of them, but still, you started seeing women in workplaces. Most of these working women stuck to ‘safe’ careers; teaching, medicine, home boutiques, grocery-shops, etc. In our generation, even though, there was very limited exposure, zero career-counselling, the women managed to somewhat break that stereotype, sustained their careers, or at least went back to work after their kids grew up a bit. When you see the teen girls of today, aspiring for the world, you can see their mothers, grandmothers, and other well-meaning elders, still reminding them of the goodness of ‘safe’ career options. Careers that they could sustain, even after getting married and having children.
Men on the other hand, are never questioned about how they plan to give time to their wives, household or children, with long-work-hours, excessive travelling or frequent ‘networking’ dos. The modern urban Indian male, is stuck in a pool of contradictions. He was raised in a patriarchal environment. His mother always, only - if at all- had a ‘safe’ career. But, on the other hand, thanks to globalization, the internet and modern education, he has got exposed to things like ‘equality’, ‘respect’, ‘women’s rights’, ‘involved parenting’, and so on. So, even though, he means well, most of the times, he still can’t bring himself to pick a broom, when the maid bails. And he still finds it unnatural for himself to be changing diapers. He can’t understand the concept of cleaning-up, after himself. He is yet to feel the need to roll chapatis. He can’t understand what stops him from going out for drinks or gaming with his boys, a few times a week- even though he hasn’t seen his own child awake for 4 straight days- he needs a break once in a while, doesn’t he? And he certainly can’t relate to his wife looking tired, and haggard after a long day at work. He feels that she doesn’t need to work. He can earn enough or that they should manage within his income. And of course, he can’t stand it if she prioritizes her work, over him, even if that happens rarely.
Which brings us to urban Indian women of the 2010’s. We are driven, hardworking, eager and earnest. We got married, when we were ready. Had children, because we wanted to, and when we wanted to. We genuinely care about them, are involved in their lives and do not want to waste time at office, just sitting around, to seem like we work long hours. Our mother-in-laws, mothers and nannies, along with cooks, drivers, part-time cleaning staff, are our support-system. We want to be there for our kids. We want to be there for our families. We respect and love our husbands and parents more, after having been on the other side of making a living and bringing up our children. We like our homes. We love to dress. We know that we have earned it. And we love how upgraded a simple makeover, or even just wearing makeup, can make us feel. We do like the ladies-night outings also, a few times, a year. We make it work, in spite of the days, when our little ones have their summer, autumn, winter, fall school breaks, some 50 other holidays, or worse, are sick. In spite of the school-projects, they would remember at the 11th hour. In spite of the herculean crafts or culinary tasks, they expect to furnish, ignoring all our inabilities, in the kitchen and the toolshed.
What keeps us going, eventually, is our drive, and our need for an identity. In this volatile world, there are no guarantees. The knowledge that if his salary doesn’t come, you can still run the house, is a huge relief, in itself. And then, there is the pride you see in your loved-one’s eyes, when they see you happy, successful and involved, at work.
Ponder on...S m i l e

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