13 December, 2014


Its human nature to try and improve things. To customize them, so that they fit our requirement.
Now, with people, in an ideal world,nobody would be manipulative and everyone would live in perfect harmony.
But it is not an ideal world, as it turns out. And so, we give advice, we try to tweak people, so that they fit our moulds, and we keep trying to improve others.
We have all experienced how our family, friends, relatives and even perfect strangers seem to be always giving us advices.
Recently, I've had acquaintances tell me to dress my little daughter in warm clothing, even though it was 20 degrees, on a sunny afternoon. I've had people telling me that I shouldn't always reach my daughter's school early, to pick her up, after school. I've also had people tell me how I should put some black thread/taveez on my daughter.

People try to better others. Trying to make someone dress smarter, or more fashionably. Trying to get a fashionable person to dress more conservatively. Trying to make smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts give up. Trying to make the ones, who don't indulge in anything, indulge a bit. Trying to make people give up their quirks. Trying to make the ones who don't have any quirks, to become more interesting. And so on.

And each time, I keep wondering, how does it matter to anyone else, how I am, or how I live?

Unless, I have to live with a person, as in a life partner, I wouldn't try to tweak them. Because, unless I have to live with someone, for the rest of my life, I should think, I can put up with their quirks. Unless, I am responsible for bringing someone up/ educating them, I would try to refrain from teaching others. And as a grown woman, apart from my own mother, frankly, I don't expect advice from anyone.

Whatever happened to the age old saying about giving advice, only where it has been asked for? Why indeed, do we feel obligated to keep improving others? Are we such insanely perfect individuals ourselves, that we feel morally bound to better all others? Have we really no fault, that we have to keep picking on others? Or have we no patience left now, that we can't stand any quirks in others?

Can't we just live and let live?

Ponder on...S m i l e