What is Zero Waste? What is the root cause of Pollution?...

What is zero-waste? It is an effort towards minimizing the trash you generate, every step of the way.
Does it mean that you start looking for eco-friendly alternatives for everything in your life? Yes. But even that is not going to help us in the long run. What we really need to do is Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Donate.
Before we started mass producing things, almost all of the waste generated by people used to be organic, and problems in the area of waste management or pollution, were unheard of. After industrialization and then the invention of various forms of plastic and unrecyclable packaging, our trash started becoming a problem. A century ago, there weren’t as many people on Earth. So, we could simply dump off that waste somewhere far away and be done with it. Our planet is only so big. Our population has been increasing at an alarming rate, thanks to all the great work in the fields of science and medicine, as well as the lack of family planning in some communities. But then with the rise in population, cities started growing and all those ‘far away’ places, became a part of those cities.
We have also been rapidly using up our natural resources. We have mined our mountain rocks for gems and minerals, have excavated river banks for sand, drilled our grounds for fossil fuels. And then some wonder why there have been so many frequent earthquakes and volcanic eruptions in the past half century.
Thankfully, pollution, global warming and climate change, finally became a topic of conversation, around a couple of decades ago, when our scientists discovered the depleting ozone layer. There was a start in the right direction. Even though, there are still some of us, who simply refuse to believe these facts.
Over the past half century or so, we have managed to make so much cumulated trash that our oceans are covered in thick layers of trash, for miles and miles. We have been so irresponsible with waste management that all our wildlife is in danger of choking on plastic particles. All our landfills are overflowing. After the recent bouts of tsunamis and hurricanes we have witnessed tonnes and tonnes of trash getting washed up on beaches. There has plastic found washed up or flown into even the remotest areas of the world. There have been researches that say that most city dwellers in the high pollution-zone cities of today would need to start buying oxygen to breathe in a not too distant future. Every few years, we are hearing about brand new diseases and epidemics, from one part of the world or another. All of the plastic made till date on Earth, is all still here. It’s a substance that takes around 400yrs or more to break down. And even then, it does not decompose really. Still remains harmful. But do we still ever question our excessive consumerist ways?
There was a simpler time. There still are people who practice the same minimalist lifestyle. Actually the majority of the world’s population, continue to take from nature only what they need. Try noticing a poor person and you would see how little they own. Try to look up some village evacuations and you would see how little they are moving their entire lives with. Then why do we, all the so called ‘well-to-do’ urban population of the world, need so much stuff?
Why are we redoing our houses, every few years? Why are we getting entire wardrobe makeovers, every season? Why do we need to upgrade our gadgets every year? Why do we feel the need hoard things we don’t even need? What happens to all the stuff we get rid of?
It all either gets littered around our own environments, or ends up in the ever overflowing landfills, or gets dumped into our water bodies. It rots, causes harm to other species, contaminates our environment and causes diseases. And wherever on our planet it ends up, it still is there, pollution our planet. And eventually, whether or not you are getting affected by the pollution, where you live, we would all get affected. Because our planet in one single entity. The environment around it, is all connected.
Its high time we all woke up and started thinking from a sustainable, zero-waste, natural and minimalistic point of view. Stop creating more stuff. Take what you really need. And leave all the wants. Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Donate!
Ponder on...

Simpler Times!...

Growing up in Delhi in 80’s, you lead a very simple, eco-friendly and minimalistic lifestyle. There weren’t really any restaurants or junk food joints around, apart from the monthly trip to the halwai or the ‘world famous’ moth-kachori guy, after your mum had picked up the monthly groceries, all packed in a gigantic canvas bag. When you were out, you drank from your own water bottles and refilled them wherever you found drinking water facilities. The concept of take-out or ordering-in wasn’t there either. Soaps came in paper packs, and there would be, perhaps three or four other bottles, jars or tubes in the bathroom. Everybody didn’t have cars. We all used buses, or the local trains even. And walked. We used to walk a lot too. Even the people who had cars, only took them out, occasionally- apart from the really affluent people, of course. Shopping, wasn’t ‘something to do’, but rather a chore, one had to tolerate on birthdays and Diwalis. Your entire wardrobe would fit in a half a standard single-sized cupboard. Bathrooms didn’t have toilet-paper holders, but ether a hose attached to the flush-tank or a tap on your right hand with a little tumbler under it. Diapers, sanitary napkins, panty liners, were not the disposable kinds, but rather the up-cycled old clothes kind. The sign that a family was well to do, was kitchens filled with stainless steel, glass, ceramic and stone. The only thing my mother ever wore makeup wise, was a bindi and rare single shade of maroon lipstick and a compact powder, on special occasions- may be thrice in a year. Kids had one room, where everything was shared. Since TV wasn’t there, apart from a couple of hours in the night- unless you were studying or eating, you were always outside playing with the neighbourhood kids. Terrace gardens, green patches outside houses, and streets lined with lush trees on either side was a norm. Homes weren’t redone every few years. Every single house didn’t have separate ‘play rooms’, ‘gyms’, ‘lounges’ and ‘offices’ within the premises. All spaces were shared. Everything was eco-friendly, minimalistic and reused, repaired, recycled, if not refused all together.
Then came plastic. And suddenly if you didn’t have ‘pearlpet’ filled in your kitchen, you weren’t modern enough. If you didn’t have at least 20 different items in your shower rack, you weren’t doing it right. If you weren’t using tissues, but a reusable hanky, you were considered to have questionable hygiene. Every time you stepped out, you bought a disposable water bottle, to avoid the ‘hassle’ of lugging around a dorky bottle. If you didn’t use TP, you were just ‘eww’. Nowadays carrying a disposable coffee cup, having an entire room dedicated to your wardrobe, hoarding at least on cupboard filled with shoes, another with cosmetics, are the latest status symbols.
If you ever happen to get your hand soiled with stool, would you just wipe it with tissue or prefer washing it? Then however did toilet paper become the more ‘civilized’ way of doing things on the pot?!
Especially in India, we have the option on zonal grocery stores- that sell in bulk, green grocers that line up on the road-side selling packaging-free wares, kabadi-walas, access to an entire treasure trove of herbs and plants that our ancestors have curated, customized for our genes, climates and nutritional needs.
George Clooney said in a movie, ‘If we had to carry everything we own on our backs, most people would own nothing.’ Our environment is carrying our loads for us. And we have been abusing it for our convenience- focusing our wants ahead of our needs. And there is indeed no end to ‘wants’. Ask the Ambani’s. I’m sure even the Ambani kids annoy their parents with demands like, ‘My cousin already has a private jet. Why can’t I have one too?’ Just think about how aloof and lonely we have all become, chasing the designer labels, executive posts and jet-setting careers that we have to schedule things like ‘family time’ now! Depression, addictions and other pre-mature health problems have become so common that that itself is depressing.
We are leaving all our wildlife choking on plastic particles, our oceans covered in miles and miles of thick layers of trash, our global ice-caps melting, sea-levels rising, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcano eruptions, tsunamis, floods, landslides are occurring so frequently that they don’t even get a reaction from most people anymore, the only greenery you see in most urban spaces is the one obligatory potted plant in someone’s balcony.
And yet, if even half of us changed our ways and simplified our lives, we can stop the end of our planet we are all nearing at an exceeding pace. Even if one person gets inspired by your zero-waste efforts in a month, we are on the right track. So, before you think, “Everyone’s doing it, what difference would it make, if I don’t?”…
…Ponder on

Consumerism, Politics, Traditions, Logic and Our Environment

Consumerism is the biggest culprit behind the state of our environment. Manufacturers and advertisers are trying to sell their stuff. People are acquiring more and more, to show off their wealth...and ultimately, all that 'stuff' ends up hurting our ecosystem. Even all the ‘eco-friendly’ products now…Anyone with a really environment-friendly approach would definitely not be creating more stuff, for sure.
Traditions were formed in a time, when the population was a lot smaller and resources were there in plenty. Also there was no other source of entertainment back in the day- people created 'events' for just that... or in some cases, they didn't have the means to / couldn’t come up with any other way of doing it... But, when a population of billions all over the globe indulges in Valentine's Day gifts/cards/wrapping, Holi water anti-conservation, chemical colour play (rather than the actual traditional natural plant based pure colours...see the irony there?), Diwali fire works, Holika dahan, Lohri fire, Christmas decorations/gifts/wrapping...even more so, when most of these gifts aren't even mindful,’… it all starts taking a toll on our environment and what’s worse….it starts showing. Doing all of these things in the name of religion/traditional is plain insanity. Our customs were based on logic. ‘It’s too dark to sweep/cut your nails/hair, so don’t.’ ‘A great way to get warm in the cold weather and enjoy some music and snacks= Lohri’. But all these scenarios don’t have to be replicated in the modern age. We have the means to warmth without fire now. We have light, so can sweep, cut nails/ hair after sunset…and so on.
The idea behind was only that friends and family spend quality time together doing all kinds of fun things and enjoy the yummy foods. But do you think, our ancestors would have made the traditions mandatory for future, even when they started hurting our own Dharati Mata? No.
Like the authorities took a stand and stopped the visarjans in the Ganges, the government can and should take stronger steps against all other pollutants too...but alas...the vote banks and the convenient ‘touchy sentiments’ of the extremists and the insecure, which make it easy for the politicians to rile up the masses against their own opponents, as and when it pleases them!
But fear not, from there is still hope. As long as people like us, clean up our own acts and free ourselves from this race of showing off and hoarding things or practicing customs that don't bring any joy in our lives, but rather hurt someone/something and try and create awareness as much as possible.
And remember, no-one can be forced to do anything. It just never works. So, even if we couldn't turn anyone into an environmentalist today. There is always tomorrow.
That's just what I try to do. The above is kind of a pep talk I give to myself every time it gets too overwhelming. :)

Culture, Religion & Environment...

Frankly, I think this mindset comes from the separatists. Their web-soldiers are always trying to come up with propaganda that could cause the Hindu majority to disunite, just like the East India Company did...'no-one says anything to goat halali on Eid, only complains about Jallikattu'....or 'no-one complained about Dubai/Sydney/US fireworks during New Year's and everyone complains about Diwali fireworks'.
Firstly, what's environment-friendly is so, in every case. Do not support any other country/religious group's fireworks either, as they are all bad for the environment.
What's humane, is so in every case, just the same...Be a vegan. Or at least a vegetarian… It's animal-friendly and is better for the environment, once again.
It hurts the sentiments of the touchy Hindus, when only Hindu religious customs are targeted.
But then again, do you really think fireworks are a traditional thing? Like Lord Rama was welcomed in Ayodhya with fireworks and Chinese lights adorning each house? Or if our forefathers could see how much smog covers the length and breadth of our cities, after each Holika Dahan/Lohri, would they have come up with such customs in the first place? Our nation is that of science, astronomy, maths, Ayurveda. All reason. No superstitions.
People burnt their old belongings come Spring to welcome the new season, new life, and let go of the old and spoilt. But is it possible they would have continued to do so even when they realized that those same things they didn’t need anymore, could be of use to someone else? So, why not gift/give/donate?
While it's important to make an effort of not hurting anyone...it is also important to be logical.

Zero-Waste Cleaning and Bathroom Supplies

1. Glass cleaner: one part white vinegar, nine parts tap water. Fill directly in old colin kind of a spray bottle
2. Toilet bowl/bathroom sink/taps/faucets etc cleaner: plain old baking soda (meetha soda)...sprinkle for five minutes of surface which needs to be cleaned. Wipe down with a wet rag. And done.
3. Leave a ziplock baggie full of white vinegar, tied around the taps/shower heads, for full night, for the toughest strained
4. Natural cleanser/ conventional soap alternative:
• Soak about a 100gms of dry reetha (while herb, not powder), which is called soap nuts in English, in a couple of litres of hot water for 8 to 12 hours (not boiling hot. Just more than lukewarm). I have only ordered these online so far. But these can be found in the neighbourhood weekly bazaars as well, unpackaged, apparently. Cost around Rs.250 for 750gms. And last a bit more than 3weeks.
• Press them with your hands and squeeze out the seeds after an overnight soak.
• Boil for five to ten minutes.
• Add about 20 to 30 drops of your favourite organic essential oil (lemon/orange/lemongrass/rose/sandalwood/ceader wood etc can be ordered online and cost about 250/- on average, for a bottle which lasts me 4 months)
• Let this cool down.
• Mash out the pulp with hands, as the innermost part, closest to the seed is what gives it cleansing properties.
• Strain twice. Bottle up and keep in dispensers, all around the house.
• I use the same thing as body wash, face wash, hand wash, baby shampoo, dishwashing liquid, laundry soap, surface cleaner, etc.
5. Lemon halves also work on sink stains
6. Coconut husk instead of dishwashing scrub pads.
7. Rags, cut out of old torn clothes, instead of paper kitchen rolls
8. Hankies instead of tissue-paper
9. I also use my daughter's old baby washcloths, or face towels, instead of buying plastic based loofahs
10. Soak a face-towel in water/rose water and freeze it in a ziplock/air tight container. Take a couple of these every time you leave home, to avoid using wet-tissues
11. Bamboo toothbrushes, instead of plastic
12. Old-school metal razors, instead of disposable ones
13. Menstrual cups, reusable cloth pads/ panty liners
14. The Soaps by Sangi's, Stain Stick. Coconut oil based eco-friendly, packaging free laundry stain removal stick

Deodorant, sunscreen, mosquito repellant, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, serum, moisturizer and perfume recipes/natural alternatives coming up soon.

A few easy eco-friendly alternatives!..

As tempting as it always is, to try and blame ‘everyone’ or the ‘system’, here are a few easy-peasy switches we can all make, in order to get healthy, happy, while actually helping reduce this horrid pollution as well:

1) Politely requesting our dumpster guys to not mix the organic and inorganic trash and sharing the repercussions of doing so, from time to time. Agreed. This, sometimes works, sometimes doesn't
2) Recycling everything we no longer need. Creates more space in our homes/offices for our children and pets to run around and for all the lovely air-filtering plants too. The local Kabadi-wala is another way of actually making a little money, while we are at it. Paper, metal, plastic, glass. Just rinse the containers, before putting them in the recycling storage area of your space, in order to avoid the bad odors
3) Donating all the clothes, shoes, bags, bedding, toys, books, utensils, furniture, etc. that we no longer use to orphanages or any of the lovely NGOs that reuse. Yes. They can even use adult sized clothes.
4) Going plastic free at home. Switch to metal/clay/glass. Plastic is even known to cause Cancer and other terrible illnesses
5) DIY cleaning/toilet/beauty supplies. If anyone in interested in the know-how/recipes, I'll be happy to share in future posts. We don't buy any household cleaning/toilet/beauty supplies since the past year
6) Repurposing all the packaging/jars/bottles that still somehow end up at our houses
7) Making as many snacks at home, from scratch, as your kitchen skills may allow
8) Trying to reduce our electric/petrol/diesel/water consumption, every day. A little bit, at a time
9) Packing and bringing enough drinks/snacks/meals from home, every time we leave the house, in reusable containers, to avoid disposable utensils outside. And bringing the reusable cutlery along too
10) Buying everything extremely mindfully. Making shopping for new things a ‘birthday/Diwali gift only’ affair. Educating everyone around about the importance of reducing our environmental footprint, etc.
11) Utilizing the outdoors instead of causing more power consumptions indoors, for exercising/socializing. Playing with your kids/pets in the park, going out for a run, meeting friends for coffee at the nearly garden, where all carry their own reusable cups of the favourite beverages…weather permitting, of course
12) And ensuring that only 'organic' trash goes to the dumpsters from our house. Better yet, saving up for an eco-friendly Composting-Kit, to make your own fertile soil for the greenery in your house
13) Always carrying a reusable water bottle
14) Always bringing our own reusable shopping bags
15) Also, carrying smaller grocery bags for peanuts, small knick-knacks we might be tempted to pick up on our way back from the park
16) Ensuring that at least, our staff has enough warm clothing, electric heating to survive the winter and that they do not burn open-fires
17) Saying no to fire-crackers. They cause all sorts of pollution, are wasteful, noisy, and there’s actually nothing even traditional about them
18) Switching to the modern cloth diapers, panty liners and menstrual cups, instead of the terribly polluting and toxic diapers, pads, tampons, etc
19) Having all our winter parties huddled around oil heaters/blankets, rather than having bonfires and adding to the smog
20) Sending complaints to the cops of any waste-burning reports, to the DPCC, on #9717593574, #9717593501
21) Sending complaints to the authorities of any vehicular pollution, to the Delhi Traffic Police, on #8750871493 (Whatsapp)
22) DIY sunflower wax and cotton cloth, cling wrap substitute
23) Using the old-school old cotton hankies instead of aluminum foils
24) Trying to concentrate more on solutions, rather than finding faults in the system and just cribbing about all that
25) Looking for eco-friendly sources around yourself- rather than wasting fuel and trying to not get caught up in buying more ‘stuff’, just because it happens to be eco-friendly.
26) Looking for more sustainable substitutes for everything in your life
There are so many more ways we can all help. We have created this environment by our own convenient methods and ways. It has taken decades to reach here. Will take years to get back to Green too, but we all must start and now!
Please do share any other tips you may have with us.

Simple life

Both my parents worked. So we all had to clean up after ourselves and help out with the chores. It was also frowned upon if we ever wasted food (Food is God), water, electricity or anything else (Do you realize how many people don’t get any, just because people like us keep wasting and using up all the resources!)
As a child, I lost one of my most treasured possessions, when we moved houses. It was a stunning empty sample sized bottle of some perfume. That was the last time I got attached to any ‘thing’.
Something about my childhood that I loved the most was the sheer simplicity. The lack of consumerism. The abundance of family time. The joy and excitement in everything in socializing with nice-kind and friendly people. There weren’t any restaurants or fast food joints within miles from home back in the day. We ate out only when we couldn’t avoid it. And even on those occasions I actually remember asking my mother for ‘food, when we would get back home, insisting that what we ate outside wasn’t real food and I didn’t enjoy it! ‘Shopping’ was only a ‘birthday’ or ‘Diwali’ time chore, when each member of the family would get an entire new outfit and the entire day would get spent walking the length and breadth of Karol Bagh, carrying all the numerous shopping bags. There weren’t even any readymade clothing stores back then. We had to get everything stitched at the local tailor’s. Until the likes of Gyans and Sahil started popping up in every shopping hub of the city, of course. Each person had a max four pairs of shoes; work/school, every day, formal and flip-flops. The idea of owning more than one purse, belt, car or anything else was actually looked down upon as vulgar show-off and wasteful.
As I started growing up and reading the news, one would read about all these terrible natural and manmade disasters, time and again and realize how because of those disasters, millions of people lost everything they had to their names. And I would keep wondering why people got attached to ‘things’ at all. We all need shelter, basic clothes, kitchen supplies, even some furniture, I agree. But what’s with all the possessions we just ‘wanted’ and thus acquired!
Ozone layer depletion was the first time ever, ‘pollution’ became a topic of every day conversations. But thankfully, the conversation started.
As a young professional, like everyone else, I indulged in ‘retail therapy’ and bought things for all of my near and dear ones on a weekly basis. Nothing that we needed. But all that we wanted. The over-excitement of going from a pocket-money of a few thousands to a five figure mark, was something really special. But did it ever bring me joy, I wonder. If I had just spent time with those near and dear ones instead, would they have loved me less? Food for thought.
In 2003, I moved to Mumbai with all my worldly possessions to try and make it my home. What with the amazing idea of women’s safety there and what not! But by the 6th months mark, I experienced the age old cliché first hand. Something about how you can find everything but a house in Mumbai. Painfully true! So, I packed up all my belongings once and again, booked the movers for all the larger luggage, packed up a couple of weeks’ worth of things for myself and decided to head back home soon. But was asked to stay on at work for another two months and then get a transfer to their Delhi office. So I stayed on in Mumbai. With a single backpack sized roll-on duffle. And managed just fine, even without the eight large trunks, suitcases and duffel bags, I’d sent back home. It was so liberating! Having everything I needed, knowing exactly where everything was, and the mobility during the travel back too.
After getting married, we switched several houses. Either the house had been falling apart and needed serious repair work, or the landlords wanted to prep that floor for their son’s upcoming marriage, or the landlords needed to move back to the city, or we would discover scary amounts of seepage issues in the house within months of moving in. Again, it helped and was a breeze packing-moving-unpacking, every time we owned less things and backbreaking and days of work, every time we happened to have acquired (read ‘hoarded’) a bit too much.
After our daughter’s birth, during the pregnancy and when I was in the hyper protective-mother mode after the delivery, I became overtly sensitive to the strong fragrances in all toiletries, beauty products and household cleaning supplies. And we started switching to the store-bought closest-to-natural and least fragrant possible, wherever possible.
The same thing happened to our eating habits as well from the pregnancy. Everything was scrutinized from a health and ‘baby’ point of view now.
Then, my husband’s health started deteriorating as he got closer to 40. Every day, he would come back home extremely stressed. Every week he had to travel for work. Every night was a late night. And he was burning out because of exhaustion as well as not doing what he wanted to do. Any sane person would opt for the more paying job, right? Wrong. We made a decision to quit the job, start something with a few friends, which would bring him joy. Something he really wanted to do. Even if it meant loosing half our salary. my family’s health and happiness would always trump traveling, shopping, socializing and spending. As expected, within months of the new venture, his health improved. Now he is home every evening, travels rarely and has found his sense of humour once again, romance is back in our lives after the long ‘baby’ gap. Our daughter is the only one at her school who spends time with her father every morning and for the entirety of every weekend, has both her parents dropping her every day, and coming to pick her up every Saturday. He even discovered that he was really into cooking after making the switch in his career. Who would have thought all that was achievable!
My mother survived cancer {TOUCHWOOD}. It’s still so surreal that we have crossed the six-year mark. But that was another big wake-up call to all of us in the family. Reduce the acidic levels in your food, sugar, salt, oil. Eat healthy, Get active. Stay positive. Avoid negativity and negative people. Reduce your exposure to plastics. Stop exposing your bodies to all the horrible chemicals found in most conventional toilet, beauty and cleaning supplies. Take care of your health.
Last winter, I started noticing how my hair was turning from bad to worse. In spite of all the costliest shampoos, conditioners, serums, treatments and colours, how my skin had started feeling all bumpy over the years, how my knuckles constantly looked cracked, even though I regularly invested in the most popular hand creams, was beyond me.

Cumulative effect of all of these, pushed me closer and closer to simple living, family time, health, natural ways. And they have proved, time and again, how wonderfully joyous one’s life can get, if we only focus of ‘people’, instead of ‘things’, and keep things uncomplicated and positive in life.
And then, a year ago, I came across all these amazing concepts like, zero-waste, minimalism, veganism, sustainable lifestyle, reducing your carbon footprint, growing your food and going green. #LOVE… For years, I had been talking to people about the exact same ideas, but kept coming across as a weirdo in most cases.
There is so much we have all got to do to fix our environment. Small steps in some cases. And bigger leaps in lots other. But all very doable. All the things our forefathers had been doing for centuries and a few new methods to tackle the newer man-made issues too. So much to do, so little time…which is indeed running out!
Ponder on
…S m i l e

Third World

Two centuries ago, a single region in the world was contributing 80% of the world’s GDP, was one of the most advanced in spiritual, scientific, medicine, cultural, religious, astronomy, astrology, mathematics and several other educational fields. Then came the foreigners. First the travelers, explorers, missionaries, philosophers, and then the conquerors. She was turned into a slave. Her science, medicine, education techniques and syllabus were all laughed upon, hospitals shut down, universities closed. She was looted for her wealth, resources, and used to dispose-off all the surplus products from the industries of the foreign lands. Two centuries later, she became the poorest. And now, the foreigners call her the most polluting, when her people weren’t ever the ones to bring plastic/chemical/fossil fuels into the world in the first place. They had only been practicing, ‘take what you need from nature and nature would look after you’ people, but were called uncivilized pagans. Alas

Rant

I was a very big introvert in school. My sisters and then my mother remain my best friends even now. Never felt the need to socialize at all till my sisters got married and moved away.

That’s when I realized how wrecked a lot of kids are. How sex, drugs, depression, loneliness and vanity plague the world. Cant ever forget the first time I heard a boy say to another in class, ‘Do you even know who I am’! ‘Who do you think you are’! These two statements, the entitlement which comes along and the clout these people walk around with amazed me. Amazes me still. For someone to be so full of themselves! Why is it so important for some to harp on ‘how important they are’, instead of just trying to be good person! Has anyone ever told them that is all this being important might be something only they feel about themselves? I wonder...

Every time since that first time, I try and socialize, I get taken aback by something or the other that someone would say or do, which would make me question the entire human existence. There is always something or the other completely creepy or borderline insane. I’ve once heard a normal, seemingly decent married man say to a married me, “My wife can’t have sex right now, but I really need to check if my privates work properly. Could you please help?”

There was once a colleague, who used to put her mobile phone on speaker to have all her conversations, and then give death stares to anyone, who didn’t keep pin-drop silence around her, instead of simply walking our herself, with the ‘mobile’ phone.

Then there’s all the fake air-kissing, side-hugging, ‘darling’ calling and ‘lets meet for coffee’, kind of flaky superficial lot, who I could never ever understand.

Once, another mother at the pick-up que at school, actually tried to gossip about another’s newborn’s death and felt sorry- although with the glint in her eye for the mother- only when she came to know that it had been a baby boy. I still can’t look that lady in the eye. Makes my skin crawl.

Another one started snapping at me all of a sudden, after months of seemingly normal behavior, when I told her about something that had happened in my daughter’s class. She just kept shouting and insisting ‘that’ thing couldn’t possibly have happened, as it hadn’t happened in her son’s class. Her foolproof reasoning had been all of that.

Then recently, there was another, who claimed to be in the same boat as me…tired of rude and full-of-themselves people. We would exchange hellos sometimes and share our zero-waste tips with one another, while volunteering at the school. But then one day, she started sharing all the faults she had found in me, and seemed to be able to find at least one new one every time we met. Initially I would try and explain to her that the procedures I was following were given to me you the school itself. Every time, I would greet her with a smile, hoping for the lack of the barrage that day at least, she would smile while looking exhausted at the same time, and then say something to the affect of, ‘I’m tired of all this back-biting, stress and negativity yaar’ and then without missing a beat, she would start telling me about how many people hated me, how I was doing everything wrong, how this other lady, a typical Delhi socialite- who happens to have shouted at me, scratched my hand once, stomped on my foot once, harassed me on the phone for four straight days, keeps creating scenes by making up things against me, keeps spewing hate all the time, can’t stop taunting me every opportunity she gets, is an epitome of negativity and is completely repulsive as far as politeness goes- disapproved of my methods while volunteering, how she actually even agreed with that other lady on several points, how this other lady was hurt when I asked her to show her pick-up card- as I do for all other kids of her son’s class- for ‘singling her out’ like that (who has become the other repulsive lady’s best friend and has taken in all her scoffing, taunting, eye-rolling and looking angry like nobody’s business traits), and how the world would be a better place if I just went became the disciple of the lady who happens to be the epitome of negativity. And the whole time, I would continue to try and stay polite, while trying to keep my distance. I keep wondering, when did I ever ask her or anyone else for their opinion! Just because I volunteer at the school, who gives anyone the right to judge me? Instead of finding faults in people or picking on them, why can't we just focus on trying to be helpful and kind? That's at least what I was taught growing up. I ask people to que-up, they complain to the school- happens all the time. But the other lady in question, makes up things, complains about the things I do- which she as doing herself gets downright rude, with eye-rolls, scoffs, neck jerks and everything in between, for God knows what reason and seems to have only one mission in life, ‘fixing me’ and riling everyone around herself against me. So, with this hyper-drama lady, I naturally have been keeping my distance. But the first one, who had claimed to be sick of the drama, keeps bringing just that into my life, over and over again. To a point, where I have had to start going out of my way to avoid her now.

So, to conclude, most people really don’t deserve your company. Sad as that is. Family and books are the only people/things anyone should invest their time in.