A few easy eco-friendly alternatives!..

As tempting as it always is, to try and blame ‘everyone’ or the ‘system’, here are a few easy-peasy switches we can all make, in order to get healthy, happy, while actually helping reduce this horrid pollution as well:

1) Politely requesting our dumpster guys to not mix the organic and inorganic trash and sharing the repercussions of doing so, from time to time. Agreed. This, sometimes works, sometimes doesn't
2) Recycling everything we no longer need. Creates more space in our homes/offices for our children and pets to run around and for all the lovely air-filtering plants too. The local Kabadi-wala is another way of actually making a little money, while we are at it. Paper, metal, plastic, glass. Just rinse the containers, before putting them in the recycling storage area of your space, in order to avoid the bad odors
3) Donating all the clothes, shoes, bags, bedding, toys, books, utensils, furniture, etc. that we no longer use to orphanages or any of the lovely NGOs that reuse. Yes. They can even use adult sized clothes.
4) Going plastic free at home. Switch to metal/clay/glass. Plastic is even known to cause Cancer and other terrible illnesses
5) DIY cleaning/toilet/beauty supplies. If anyone in interested in the know-how/recipes, I'll be happy to share in future posts. We don't buy any household cleaning/toilet/beauty supplies since the past year
6) Repurposing all the packaging/jars/bottles that still somehow end up at our houses
7) Making as many snacks at home, from scratch, as your kitchen skills may allow
8) Trying to reduce our electric/petrol/diesel/water consumption, every day. A little bit, at a time
9) Packing and bringing enough drinks/snacks/meals from home, every time we leave the house, in reusable containers, to avoid disposable utensils outside. And bringing the reusable cutlery along too
10) Buying everything extremely mindfully. Making shopping for new things a ‘birthday/Diwali gift only’ affair. Educating everyone around about the importance of reducing our environmental footprint, etc.
11) Utilizing the outdoors instead of causing more power consumptions indoors, for exercising/socializing. Playing with your kids/pets in the park, going out for a run, meeting friends for coffee at the nearly garden, where all carry their own reusable cups of the favourite beverages…weather permitting, of course
12) And ensuring that only 'organic' trash goes to the dumpsters from our house. Better yet, saving up for an eco-friendly Composting-Kit, to make your own fertile soil for the greenery in your house
13) Always carrying a reusable water bottle
14) Always bringing our own reusable shopping bags
15) Also, carrying smaller grocery bags for peanuts, small knick-knacks we might be tempted to pick up on our way back from the park
16) Ensuring that at least, our staff has enough warm clothing, electric heating to survive the winter and that they do not burn open-fires
17) Saying no to fire-crackers. They cause all sorts of pollution, are wasteful, noisy, and there’s actually nothing even traditional about them
18) Switching to the modern cloth diapers, panty liners and menstrual cups, instead of the terribly polluting and toxic diapers, pads, tampons, etc
19) Having all our winter parties huddled around oil heaters/blankets, rather than having bonfires and adding to the smog
20) Sending complaints to the cops of any waste-burning reports, to the DPCC, on #9717593574, #9717593501
21) Sending complaints to the authorities of any vehicular pollution, to the Delhi Traffic Police, on #8750871493 (Whatsapp)
22) DIY sunflower wax and cotton cloth, cling wrap substitute
23) Using the old-school old cotton hankies instead of aluminum foils
24) Trying to concentrate more on solutions, rather than finding faults in the system and just cribbing about all that
25) Looking for eco-friendly sources around yourself- rather than wasting fuel and trying to not get caught up in buying more ‘stuff’, just because it happens to be eco-friendly.
26) Looking for more sustainable substitutes for everything in your life
There are so many more ways we can all help. We have created this environment by our own convenient methods and ways. It has taken decades to reach here. Will take years to get back to Green too, but we all must start and now!
Please do share any other tips you may have with us.

Simple life

Both my parents worked. So we all had to clean up after ourselves and help out with the chores. It was also frowned upon if we ever wasted food (Food is God), water, electricity or anything else (Do you realize how many people don’t get any, just because people like us keep wasting and using up all the resources!)
As a child, I lost one of my most treasured possessions, when we moved houses. It was a stunning empty sample sized bottle of some perfume. That was the last time I got attached to any ‘thing’.
Something about my childhood that I loved the most was the sheer simplicity. The lack of consumerism. The abundance of family time. The joy and excitement in everything in socializing with nice-kind and friendly people. There weren’t any restaurants or fast food joints within miles from home back in the day. We ate out only when we couldn’t avoid it. And even on those occasions I actually remember asking my mother for ‘food, when we would get back home, insisting that what we ate outside wasn’t real food and I didn’t enjoy it! ‘Shopping’ was only a ‘birthday’ or ‘Diwali’ time chore, when each member of the family would get an entire new outfit and the entire day would get spent walking the length and breadth of Karol Bagh, carrying all the numerous shopping bags. There weren’t even any readymade clothing stores back then. We had to get everything stitched at the local tailor’s. Until the likes of Gyans and Sahil started popping up in every shopping hub of the city, of course. Each person had a max four pairs of shoes; work/school, every day, formal and flip-flops. The idea of owning more than one purse, belt, car or anything else was actually looked down upon as vulgar show-off and wasteful.
As I started growing up and reading the news, one would read about all these terrible natural and manmade disasters, time and again and realize how because of those disasters, millions of people lost everything they had to their names. And I would keep wondering why people got attached to ‘things’ at all. We all need shelter, basic clothes, kitchen supplies, even some furniture, I agree. But what’s with all the possessions we just ‘wanted’ and thus acquired!
Ozone layer depletion was the first time ever, ‘pollution’ became a topic of every day conversations. But thankfully, the conversation started.
As a young professional, like everyone else, I indulged in ‘retail therapy’ and bought things for all of my near and dear ones on a weekly basis. Nothing that we needed. But all that we wanted. The over-excitement of going from a pocket-money of a few thousands to a five figure mark, was something really special. But did it ever bring me joy, I wonder. If I had just spent time with those near and dear ones instead, would they have loved me less? Food for thought.
In 2003, I moved to Mumbai with all my worldly possessions to try and make it my home. What with the amazing idea of women’s safety there and what not! But by the 6th months mark, I experienced the age old cliché first hand. Something about how you can find everything but a house in Mumbai. Painfully true! So, I packed up all my belongings once and again, booked the movers for all the larger luggage, packed up a couple of weeks’ worth of things for myself and decided to head back home soon. But was asked to stay on at work for another two months and then get a transfer to their Delhi office. So I stayed on in Mumbai. With a single backpack sized roll-on duffle. And managed just fine, even without the eight large trunks, suitcases and duffel bags, I’d sent back home. It was so liberating! Having everything I needed, knowing exactly where everything was, and the mobility during the travel back too.
After getting married, we switched several houses. Either the house had been falling apart and needed serious repair work, or the landlords wanted to prep that floor for their son’s upcoming marriage, or the landlords needed to move back to the city, or we would discover scary amounts of seepage issues in the house within months of moving in. Again, it helped and was a breeze packing-moving-unpacking, every time we owned less things and backbreaking and days of work, every time we happened to have acquired (read ‘hoarded’) a bit too much.
After our daughter’s birth, during the pregnancy and when I was in the hyper protective-mother mode after the delivery, I became overtly sensitive to the strong fragrances in all toiletries, beauty products and household cleaning supplies. And we started switching to the store-bought closest-to-natural and least fragrant possible, wherever possible.
The same thing happened to our eating habits as well from the pregnancy. Everything was scrutinized from a health and ‘baby’ point of view now.
Then, my husband’s health started deteriorating as he got closer to 40. Every day, he would come back home extremely stressed. Every week he had to travel for work. Every night was a late night. And he was burning out because of exhaustion as well as not doing what he wanted to do. Any sane person would opt for the more paying job, right? Wrong. We made a decision to quit the job, start something with a few friends, which would bring him joy. Something he really wanted to do. Even if it meant loosing half our salary. my family’s health and happiness would always trump traveling, shopping, socializing and spending. As expected, within months of the new venture, his health improved. Now he is home every evening, travels rarely and has found his sense of humour once again, romance is back in our lives after the long ‘baby’ gap. Our daughter is the only one at her school who spends time with her father every morning and for the entirety of every weekend, has both her parents dropping her every day, and coming to pick her up every Saturday. He even discovered that he was really into cooking after making the switch in his career. Who would have thought all that was achievable!
My mother survived cancer {TOUCHWOOD}. It’s still so surreal that we have crossed the six-year mark. But that was another big wake-up call to all of us in the family. Reduce the acidic levels in your food, sugar, salt, oil. Eat healthy, Get active. Stay positive. Avoid negativity and negative people. Reduce your exposure to plastics. Stop exposing your bodies to all the horrible chemicals found in most conventional toilet, beauty and cleaning supplies. Take care of your health.
Last winter, I started noticing how my hair was turning from bad to worse. In spite of all the costliest shampoos, conditioners, serums, treatments and colours, how my skin had started feeling all bumpy over the years, how my knuckles constantly looked cracked, even though I regularly invested in the most popular hand creams, was beyond me.

Cumulative effect of all of these, pushed me closer and closer to simple living, family time, health, natural ways. And they have proved, time and again, how wonderfully joyous one’s life can get, if we only focus of ‘people’, instead of ‘things’, and keep things uncomplicated and positive in life.
And then, a year ago, I came across all these amazing concepts like, zero-waste, minimalism, veganism, sustainable lifestyle, reducing your carbon footprint, growing your food and going green. #LOVE… For years, I had been talking to people about the exact same ideas, but kept coming across as a weirdo in most cases.
There is so much we have all got to do to fix our environment. Small steps in some cases. And bigger leaps in lots other. But all very doable. All the things our forefathers had been doing for centuries and a few new methods to tackle the newer man-made issues too. So much to do, so little time…which is indeed running out!
Ponder on
…S m i l e

Third World

Two centuries ago, a single region in the world was contributing 80% of the world’s GDP, was one of the most advanced in spiritual, scientific, medicine, cultural, religious, astronomy, astrology, mathematics and several other educational fields. Then came the foreigners. First the travelers, explorers, missionaries, philosophers, and then the conquerors. She was turned into a slave. Her science, medicine, education techniques and syllabus were all laughed upon, hospitals shut down, universities closed. She was looted for her wealth, resources, and used to dispose-off all the surplus products from the industries of the foreign lands. Two centuries later, she became the poorest. And now, the foreigners call her the most polluting, when her people weren’t ever the ones to bring plastic/chemical/fossil fuels into the world in the first place. They had only been practicing, ‘take what you need from nature and nature would look after you’ people, but were called uncivilized pagans. Alas

Rant

I was a very big introvert in school. My sisters and then my mother remain my best friends even now. Never felt the need to socialize at all till my sisters got married and moved away.

That’s when I realized how wrecked a lot of kids are. How sex, drugs, depression, loneliness and vanity plague the world. Cant ever forget the first time I heard a boy say to another in class, ‘Do you even know who I am’! ‘Who do you think you are’! These two statements, the entitlement which comes along and the clout these people walk around with amazed me. Amazes me still. For someone to be so full of themselves! Why is it so important for some to harp on ‘how important they are’, instead of just trying to be good person! Has anyone ever told them that is all this being important might be something only they feel about themselves? I wonder...

Every time since that first time, I try and socialize, I get taken aback by something or the other that someone would say or do, which would make me question the entire human existence. There is always something or the other completely creepy or borderline insane. I’ve once heard a normal, seemingly decent married man say to a married me, “My wife can’t have sex right now, but I really need to check if my privates work properly. Could you please help?”

There was once a colleague, who used to put her mobile phone on speaker to have all her conversations, and then give death stares to anyone, who didn’t keep pin-drop silence around her, instead of simply walking our herself, with the ‘mobile’ phone.

Then there’s all the fake air-kissing, side-hugging, ‘darling’ calling and ‘lets meet for coffee’, kind of flaky superficial lot, who I could never ever understand.

Once, another mother at the pick-up que at school, actually tried to gossip about another’s newborn’s death and felt sorry- although with the glint in her eye for the mother- only when she came to know that it had been a baby boy. I still can’t look that lady in the eye. Makes my skin crawl.

Another one started snapping at me all of a sudden, after months of seemingly normal behavior, when I told her about something that had happened in my daughter’s class. She just kept shouting and insisting ‘that’ thing couldn’t possibly have happened, as it hadn’t happened in her son’s class. Her foolproof reasoning had been all of that.

Then recently, there was another, who claimed to be in the same boat as me…tired of rude and full-of-themselves people. We would exchange hellos sometimes and share our zero-waste tips with one another, while volunteering at the school. But then one day, she started sharing all the faults she had found in me, and seemed to be able to find at least one new one every time we met. Initially I would try and explain to her that the procedures I was following were given to me you the school itself. Every time, I would greet her with a smile, hoping for the lack of the barrage that day at least, she would smile while looking exhausted at the same time, and then say something to the affect of, ‘I’m tired of all this back-biting, stress and negativity yaar’ and then without missing a beat, she would start telling me about how many people hated me, how I was doing everything wrong, how this other lady, a typical Delhi socialite- who happens to have shouted at me, scratched my hand once, stomped on my foot once, harassed me on the phone for four straight days, keeps creating scenes by making up things against me, keeps spewing hate all the time, can’t stop taunting me every opportunity she gets, is an epitome of negativity and is completely repulsive as far as politeness goes- disapproved of my methods while volunteering, how she actually even agreed with that other lady on several points, how this other lady was hurt when I asked her to show her pick-up card- as I do for all other kids of her son’s class- for ‘singling her out’ like that (who has become the other repulsive lady’s best friend and has taken in all her scoffing, taunting, eye-rolling and looking angry like nobody’s business traits), and how the world would be a better place if I just went became the disciple of the lady who happens to be the epitome of negativity. And the whole time, I would continue to try and stay polite, while trying to keep my distance. I keep wondering, when did I ever ask her or anyone else for their opinion! Just because I volunteer at the school, who gives anyone the right to judge me? Instead of finding faults in people or picking on them, why can't we just focus on trying to be helpful and kind? That's at least what I was taught growing up. I ask people to que-up, they complain to the school- happens all the time. But the other lady in question, makes up things, complains about the things I do- which she as doing herself gets downright rude, with eye-rolls, scoffs, neck jerks and everything in between, for God knows what reason and seems to have only one mission in life, ‘fixing me’ and riling everyone around herself against me. So, with this hyper-drama lady, I naturally have been keeping my distance. But the first one, who had claimed to be sick of the drama, keeps bringing just that into my life, over and over again. To a point, where I have had to start going out of my way to avoid her now.

So, to conclude, most people really don’t deserve your company. Sad as that is. Family and books are the only people/things anyone should invest their time in.

Pollution Free Delhi

Respected Mr. Chief Minister,

Heard your radio spot on Radio One today and felt the urge to write in.

I have been born and brought up, studied and worked, married and had a child, and have basically spent 36years of my life, solely in Delhi. I love my city and have nothing but pain in heart, since the past five to ten years, as I noticed that we can't even see the stars, feel the 'sardi ki dhoop', pull our windows down in the car instead of wasting fuel on the AC anymore. If you go to any major crossing, you can really feel your lungs getting filled up with smoke. My 5years old daughter, born and brought up here, has several pollution-related ailments, for which we have had to keep her on medication for the past 2 years or so, in spite of the fact that she was born, in perfect health. As a lifelong resident, I would like to humbly request you on a few things.

1) Private owned as well as public transport vehicles in Delhi have been kept in check for years now, thanks to the 'pollution under control' certificate system, as well as CNG switch in case of all public transport.
2) The vehicles that still do not comply to the pollution-under-control norms are the following:
a) trucks
b) tempos
c) auto-sized tempos used to transport goods to grocery shops
d) government vehicles (ambassadors, gypsies, etc.) that have not been phased out still, while for personal/private owned vehicles makes of these years were outlawed ages ago
e) earth moving vehicles (concrete mixers, excavators, heavy machinery used to make roads, demolition trucks, garbage trucks, tow-trucks, etc) that (and the government ambassadors, gypsies etc.) clearly exhaust BLACK smoke, if you have ever seen one
3) Most ministers travel with a convoy of cars with them. Why waste so much fuel and cause pollution for a single person's commute? Do they find their own nation's capital not safe enough for them? Why not cut back to just one car per bureaucrat/ diplomat, with the exceptions of the PM and President?
4) All the construction work which has been going on SIMULTANEOUSLY in Delhi, for several years now. Be in Metro construction, rebuilding government buildings, roads, private kothis, DDA flats, etc. All have been the only major contributors to the Suspended Dust Particles that we have all become so familiar with. If you park your car anywhere around South Extension for five minutes, you'd come back to a car covered in very fine dust!
5) The garbage-collectors (safai-karmcharis) are constantly burning organic as well as inorganic trash. Even in affluent colonies like GK1. I shudder to I think about waste-disposal systems (or the lack of) in less than affluent localities.

So, instead of trying the completely impractical odd/even system, can we take care of the above mentioned first?

Reasons why odd/even system are impractical:
* My sister travels to work from South Extension to Gurgaon, and has to constantly make Noida/Haus Khas/ Central/ West Delhi trips during the same day. With the kind of hours all private firms keep, can you even guarantee her safety, when she's not allowed to take her own car three days of a week and rely completely on public transport?
* My husband also has to keep travelling between GK, Noida, Greater Noida, Gurgaon, Saket, West and Central Delhi throughout the day. Most taxis/autos still refuse any long/short distances, or fares that would take them away from their preferred 'zones'.
* I go to drop and pick up my daughter from GK to Lodhi Estate and back, everyday. As per your odd/even system, I would have to figure out if I want to spend 100/- one way on an auto (for a distance of 5kms), as per the gundagardi of autowalas, or take a rickshaw till the metro station, switch two metro trains and then take a rickshaw from that station to her school every day. Even though, the Almighty has graced us enough so that we can afford to buy a car, a pollution under control one, on top of that.
* We have also considered the school-bus option. Where there aren't even bars for the smaller kids to hold onto, forget about seat-belts, if they fall asleep. Bigger kids still bully smaller ones, in buses. And you must have read of enough child-molestation cases, to be aware how safe smaller kids really are, even in school transport. Frankly, even if there's only a one in a hundred chance that my child would face molestation in school transport, I would still not like to test it out on my daughter.
* Car-pools do not work for short distances, as especially in the wee hours, no one really has the time or patience to wait/ go pick up four other kids from the same school, when you might yourself be running behind. Mornings are chaotic enough as it is. Why throw in another factor that might get your kid late for school, and yourself in turn, late for work?
* I grew up travelling in DTCs and cannot even count the number of times I was sexually harassed on a single commute. I had no option then. So, had to tolerate being groped, fondled, stripped, poked and what not, for some 15years. But I would do anything to ensure that my daughter never has to witness that kind of disgusting horrors that make one wish one was dead. Really.
* Some people would seriously consider buying two cars, per person of their families; one with an even number plate and another an odd on, to ensure they are never stranded and have to 'Uber' it in the late hours after work and risk rape/robbery/abduction, even if they have to sell their property for it. Would you call that helpful for the environment? But alas, only the super-rich could afford this option. What about us, the middle-class?
* I and thousands like me, would again like to humbly request you to consider cleaning-up the commercial vehicles, government vehicles, the SDPs caused due to the construction work, and making the public transport well-connected, safe and clean for everyone first, before asking us Dilliwalas to give up the only thing that makes us feel independent, safe and capable, on a day-to-day basis.

Best regards

Internet Of Things

Something really interesting caught my attention sometime back. Wanted to share it with all of you...
Internet of Things (IoT) is a process, by which data can be transferred from biochips, sensors, monitors and devices, via the internet, to machines and datacenters, without human interaction. Built on cloud computing, and data-gathering sensors, IoT is a mobile, virtual and instantaneous technology, being developed, as we speak. A revolutionary tech, that goes beyond the techies and gets into our homes, appliances, vehicles, and even bodies. ‘Smart’ or ‘intelligent’ devices, appliances, gadgets, structures, are all, basically, IoT technology.
The term, Internet of Things, was coined by British entrepreneur, Kevin Ashton, in 1999. A vision, still in a nascent stage, this technology stems from the idea of optimizing things. IoT devices gather important data, with the help of numerous current technologies and then automatically feed the data to other devices, as they would have been programmed to. IoT allows ‘things’ to be sensed and controlled, remotely- across networks- generating prospects of integration of physical and virtual systems. Which results in better, efficient, accurate, and economic outcomes. IoT is likely to give us advanced connectivity of gadgets, machines, systems, and services and go beyond the Machine to Machine Communications, such as it is, at present. Another expectation from IoT is to produce data, in great numbers, from device locations, to compute them instantaneously, and thereby increasing the need for better indexing, storage and processing of data.
Some of the examples of the first few areas, where IoT is presently being used:
• Biochip transponders on farm animals
• Heart monitoring implants
• Computerized vending machines
• Smart parking assistance
• Wearable technology
• Foot traffic monitors
• Field operation devices to help fire-fighters in search and rescue
• Smart thermostats
• Smart Washer/Dryers that use WiFi
• Interconnectivity of machines and personal gadgets

Where IoT is expected to take us, in the near future:
o Intelligent datacenter which can generate relevant business insights, after having gone through all the company’s data
o Smart streetlights, energy-grids, buildings, roads, stop-lights, seaports, therefore smart cities, nations, and then world
o Monitoring the vibrations and material conditions of buildings, bridges and historical structures
o Monitoring traffic, air quality, waste management, water leakages, floods, forest fires, snow levels, air pollution, radiation levels, hazardous gases, chemicals leakages in water bodies, ozone presence
o Prevention of landslides, avalanches, early detection of earthquakes
o Smart lighting in homes and office places
o Portable monitor to check water quality
o Supply chain control in retail and manufacturing
o Intelligent shopping assistance based on habits, preferences, allergies, expiries, etc.
o Item tracking of shipments
o Smarter agriculture, animal farming, homes and health
IoT is the present and future of technology and not limited to any one field. It is expected to improve our lives, from basics to industrial. But since it is still a relatively new technology, policing and laws need to be strict, to keep crimes in check, before hackers start pulling-off ‘remote-robberies’ of IoT Smart Products.

Five Rules Working Women must know

1. Dress & behave professionally
As they say about first impressions, provocative clothing, excessive makeup, or jewelry, might distract others from taking you seriously.
Do not indulge in flirtations and romances at work. Same goes for keeping flirts at bay. This makes people around, doubt your commitment to work. Even in cases, where you may be keeping it discreet, sooner or later word would get out, and gossip would get difficult to manage. Most importantly, women are more likely to be fired, in such circumstances.
‘Thank yous’ go a long way. In day to day work, as well as when you are switching jobs, do not be tempted to burn any bridges.
When you see your superiors making a mistake, if you can, try to avoid pointing it out. If you must, do it subtly, to keep them from becoming over-analytical about you.
On the other hand, take criticism with a pinch of salt. Especially, in the beginning of your career, and when you are new in an organization.

2. Be assertive. Not aggressive
While a man would be said to have leadership skills, a woman might be seen as hostile, for the same amount of passion.
You must get your point across. Your job is redundant unless you make your voice heard and participate in the work.
Do not work for praises. Let your work speak for yourself.

3. Showing emotion
It is extremely important for us, if we want to be seen as an equal at work, to keep our emotions in check. If we cry, we do not only seem weak, but might be kept away from challenging jobs from that point on.
When pointing out mistakes, instead of being emotional, it is preferable to be coldly analytical about it.
Ignore and smile at all the, ‘is it that time of the month’, remarks. No good can ever come out of reacting to those.
Confidence is another thing that men bring to the table, where women remain unsure. Men get taken at face value, because of their sureness. Whereas women get grilled for their ideas, just because of seeming hesitant or shy.

4. Get Noticed
Be at the office, before the boss. And leave after them. Believe it or not, you have to let them see that you are working.
Be punctual. Gain the confidence of your peers.
Voice your inputs to get noted.
Be prompt at the work given to you and prove that you are reliable.
Respond to your emails. Let people know that you do not dilly dally.
And once you finish a task, and meet the objectives, then demand credit for it.
Make the reputation you want to be made of yourself.

5. Family vs Career
Get your priorities in place; work, family, social life, recreation. Create a system to give them all the kind of time, you want to give. Then stick to that system.
Be clear to your colleagues, of your priorities, commitment, and expectations from the job. Do not leave them in a limbo, mid-task, when there is no system in place for someone else to take over your work, when you leave on a child-related emergency.
Fathers are the best people to have as mentors or bosses, at workplaces. They are kinder. And fathers of daughters, even more so. They would be more understanding with the kind of their own daughters.
Have each other’s back. If we women, do not support one-another, then how can we expect men to give us a chance?

Let's Get By Together

The LGBT community has been in news all over the world, recently. The United States made same-sex marriages legal. All over the world, people are celebrating being themselves, through the Pride Parades. While, in India, we are still holding onto the laws the British had left upon us, centuries ago- who, by the by, have long since made same-sex marriages legal.
Most folks who are against it, say that the LGBT community are a bad influence on the kids, and our society, in general. Although, these same people would enjoy a spicy Bollywood item song, or drink a few till they pass-out, or shout at their wives and parents, just fine. A hated-murderer-of-100’s-terrorist’s hanging would take precedence over, a beloved-uncorrupt-ex-President’s passing, because. The story of corrupt-politician unfolding, in the news, would be found entertaining, something to be viewed with the entire family. Suicide cases of famous men’s wives or girlfriends, who had recently started speaking-out, would get brushed under the carpet. Every time, there is a rape-case reported and gets some media-mileage, millions would flood the streets, with candles in hand, only to ignore the neighbourhood/school/college/office/public-transport eve-teasing, sexual abuse, or harassment incidents that take place, right in front of them.
Now, you see how open our society is! And how fragile we thought it to be. To think that two same-sex people in love, who want to profess their love to one-another, legally, could bring our society down, when none of the gruesome, shameful, appalling, heinous things, we are surrounded with, could do it?
Some people are so vocal about their hatred for the LGBT community, you would think they are jealous of the lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgender and transsexuals. When we start thinking about it rationally, it would come to us that, whom anyone else has sex with or marries, should be of absolute no consequence to us. Unless we wanted them for ourselves, that is.
So, is that it? Do all the people against LGBT, hate them because they are jealous of them, want to have sex with them, or want to marry them? While, one can understand this vengeance. It’s just not fair to the LGBT people. Considering if we have such feeling for a heterosexual, when they weren’t interested in us, we couldn’t have done anything about it. And rightfully so.
Imagine the plight of someone, who has to spend most of their life, trying to live a lie. And then they remainder, trying to hide who they really are and be alone, while at it. First the denial, then the disbelief, then the worry, all of which, we as a society, have to offer to them. Just because of whom they have sex with. How terribly regressive, we as a society are, to still want to dictate whom someone can marry or not, have sex with, or not, love or not!
What message are we trying to give to our children, in all this? That it is abnormal to love, respect and then marry someone. But dowry, domestic-rapes, sexual abuse, physical abuse, bdsm, khaap panchayats, preference of a male-child, female-infanticide, patriarchy, corruption, medical malpractice, terrorism, rage, disrespect, hatred, violence are all, the norm?
Who died and made us God, to decide who others can love and marry or not?. Ponder on...S m i l e

Career scope for women today

When you think about career-women in the 2010’s, in urban India, you imagine a smartly-dressed executive, in high-flung, jet-setting jobs, who has it all. But the fact that this image does not give you the full picture, would be an understatement.
Our parent’s generation was the first, when the middle-class women started working. Only a few of them, but still, you started seeing women in workplaces. Most of these working women stuck to ‘safe’ careers; teaching, medicine, home boutiques, grocery-shops, etc. In our generation, even though, there was very limited exposure, zero career-counselling, the women managed to somewhat break that stereotype, sustained their careers, or at least went back to work after their kids grew up a bit. When you see the teen girls of today, aspiring for the world, you can see their mothers, grandmothers, and other well-meaning elders, still reminding them of the goodness of ‘safe’ career options. Careers that they could sustain, even after getting married and having children.
Men on the other hand, are never questioned about how they plan to give time to their wives, household or children, with long-work-hours, excessive travelling or frequent ‘networking’ dos. The modern urban Indian male, is stuck in a pool of contradictions. He was raised in a patriarchal environment. His mother always, only - if at all- had a ‘safe’ career. But, on the other hand, thanks to globalization, the internet and modern education, he has got exposed to things like ‘equality’, ‘respect’, ‘women’s rights’, ‘involved parenting’, and so on. So, even though, he means well, most of the times, he still can’t bring himself to pick a broom, when the maid bails. And he still finds it unnatural for himself to be changing diapers. He can’t understand the concept of cleaning-up, after himself. He is yet to feel the need to roll chapatis. He can’t understand what stops him from going out for drinks or gaming with his boys, a few times a week- even though he hasn’t seen his own child awake for 4 straight days- he needs a break once in a while, doesn’t he? And he certainly can’t relate to his wife looking tired, and haggard after a long day at work. He feels that she doesn’t need to work. He can earn enough or that they should manage within his income. And of course, he can’t stand it if she prioritizes her work, over him, even if that happens rarely.
Which brings us to urban Indian women of the 2010’s. We are driven, hardworking, eager and earnest. We got married, when we were ready. Had children, because we wanted to, and when we wanted to. We genuinely care about them, are involved in their lives and do not want to waste time at office, just sitting around, to seem like we work long hours. Our mother-in-laws, mothers and nannies, along with cooks, drivers, part-time cleaning staff, are our support-system. We want to be there for our kids. We want to be there for our families. We respect and love our husbands and parents more, after having been on the other side of making a living and bringing up our children. We like our homes. We love to dress. We know that we have earned it. And we love how upgraded a simple makeover, or even just wearing makeup, can make us feel. We do like the ladies-night outings also, a few times, a year. We make it work, in spite of the days, when our little ones have their summer, autumn, winter, fall school breaks, some 50 other holidays, or worse, are sick. In spite of the school-projects, they would remember at the 11th hour. In spite of the herculean crafts or culinary tasks, they expect to furnish, ignoring all our inabilities, in the kitchen and the toolshed.
What keeps us going, eventually, is our drive, and our need for an identity. In this volatile world, there are no guarantees. The knowledge that if his salary doesn’t come, you can still run the house, is a huge relief, in itself. And then, there is the pride you see in your loved-one’s eyes, when they see you happy, successful and involved, at work.
Ponder on...S m i l e

Aplava Products Review!!

Recently, I was given the task to review a few products from Aplava, by SHEROES.

The Aplava online store has a huge variety of skin & hair products, cosmetics, baby products, men’s range and accessories. After getting the assignment, I went to their website and found it quite user-friendly, easy to navigate and thorough.
Also to be noted, signing up on SHEROES gives the individuals discount codes for Aplava.com.


Dove Hair Therapy- Daily Shine Conditioner. With Nutritive Serum. Protects Normal Hair from daily wear and tear.
Priced at Rs. 165/- for a 180ml bottle, this conditioner falls in the drug-store price range.
Pros: I’ve been using this for a week now. And from the very first usage, my hair felt smoother and lighter, right from when I rinsed it off. It’s fragrance is light and calming.
Cons: Perhaps, because my hair is curly and since it is Monsoon season right now, it made my hair extremely frizzy. This problem got somewhat resolved, when I used an anti-frizz serum, though.


H2O+ Spa Sea Salt- Hydrating Body Butter
Priced at Rs. 200/- for a 60ml tube, this is a high-end product.
Pros: It genuinely leaves your skin feeling like you have spent a few hours at the spa. After a week of use, my skin has felt nourished and moisturized, even after 24hrs of application.
Cons: It smells quite bland and medicinal. And since it is currently, the most humid season and since I have oily skin, it made me start sweating, immediately after application.


Natio Ageless- Dual Action Cleanser and Exfoliator. Pure Plant Extracts with microfine polishing spheres to lift away the dull veil that hides skin’s natural glow. Helps stimulate skin cell renewal for a younger looking complexion. For all skin types. To be used thrice weekly.
Priced at Rs. 1,010/- for a 75gms tube, this is a high-end product.
Pros: This one smells like heaven and exfoliates the skin, without feeling rough. Every time I used it, in the past week, my skin felt suppler.
Cons: None that I could notice, in spite of my oily skin and 5-minute bath slots.


Lakme Enrich Satin lipstick- For an intense and vibrant pout. With added goodness of olive oil and Vitamin E, helps keep your lips feeling satin smooth.
Priced at Rs. 260/- this is a drug-store price range, product.
Pros: I wore this lipstick at 7am, and did not need a touchup, till at least after lunch. It stayed on, through breakfast, juices and several water breaks. Doesn’t bleed either. Has a nice, thick fragrance too. It keeps the lips feeling soft, rich and doesn’t let any lines form, either.
Cons: I was sent a bright red shade. My complexion is wheatish. And I never wear dark, especially red lipsticks. Just the colour made me feel quite self-conscious.


Repechange Foaming Gel Cleanser- for problem skin
Free sample pouch
Pros: Smells really fresh and cleanses the skin without any irritation.
Cons: None


Repechange Day Protection Cream- For sensitive skin
Free sample pouch
Pros: It smells amazing. Keeps the skin hydrated throughout the day.
Cons: Made my oily skin, oilier. But most creams do that, unless I use oily skin products specifically.


I was also sent a gift voucher of 300 rupees, in the goodie-bag. Thank you Aplava. Really great products!