Sakhi'sScribbles!...

In response to Arundhati Roy’s recent interview on CNN IBN, with Karan Thapar!!...

2009-10-27T02:31:00.002+05:30

A friend posted this link today on his Facebook profile. As much as I had wanted to, I hadn’t watched it on TV. So, I was quite grateful for the written version’s link (couldn’t ever stand Karan Thapar- his voice, body language, tactics, accent and just the whole self :-S ). As I was reading the interview, I started laughing and felt like leaving a comment on his profile. Eventually the comment turned out as long as it did. Thus, posting it here now. Grin

I've never been able to understand these Lefties! ...They all just seem really regressive, narrow-minded, stubborn, 'articulate', 'artsy' (read pseudo artistic…they’d be wearing Khadi, chunky silver silver Jewellery and big bindis on their foreheads…while drinking the best French Wines and Scottish Scotches, at all their meetings, get-together and conventions!! *sheesh*), and utterly and shamelessly pessimistic for some reason!! As if they in fact have something against concepts like things like growth & development, science & research, prosperity etc. :-X
Most of them seem to be 'high'.
Most of them... Read more (women I mean), misunderstand that as per 'Feminism' means 'freedom and empowerment for women' (which is true)...but they seem to think because of this all feminists should rally against bra-companies as well, since they tie a women down... whereas it was only the ancient 'corsets' that used to be designed to 'mould' a women as per society's 'ideal image (read vital stats) of them! How retarded is that?? When the modern day bras are actually the only scientific method available for support...the lack of which, can even cause breast cancer! Go figure!! *rolls her eyes*

A few facts, the lady in question, didn't get right:
1) Poor are not getting poorer and poorer; Thanks to Globalisation, lakhs of poor people, from villages, small towns as well as big cities have gained employment.
* Plus, all MNCs have to abide by the govt's rule, according to which, each work place must employ, at least a certain percentage of 'locals'... so not just as labour, but the poor have actually also been getting hired as technicians, who are given On-The-Job-Trainings, thereafter. Furthermore, as per the regulation at least, fertile lands are not taken in and converted into giant factories. Corrupt govt officials- yes- they pass a lot of fertile lands onto companies. So the real culprit is corruption. Not democracy! :-X
* And how can one forget the not-so-old, Rural Employment Guarantee Act itself?
* Thanks to BPOs countless of the 'poor' have gotten jobs... my own house-help's daughter works at a Cellphone company's BPO. :-S
* Thanks to the govt's agressive quota systems, all the 'technicians' and 'servicing' people who you meet when you get your fridge/tv/computer/etc. fixed/serviced/installed, are actually these very poor people... ask one where he lives the next time you come across one such person, and you'll know yourself!
* The real reason why we still have a LOT of poverty in out country is rather the Population problem... a simple solution could be that each parent gets 'taxed' for every pregnancy after two kids... This way, the govt makes more money to get some infrastructure, education and health-aid everywhere as well. A lot of people just don't understand things, or even paying any attention (to the family welfare ads, here) unless you start charging them. See how quickly the population would come under control. SIMPLE. :D
* We all know, that ALL of the govt jobs now, are completely out of our reach... thanks to the same quota system, which would give these jobs to the SC,ST,OBC,handicap (which is very fair as a matter of fact) and minority first... the handful of the remaining jobs would go to the relations of the existing govt employees/officials/ministers.... Having said that-- this is NOT a Left/Right/Neutral issue...rather a simple case of corruption. :/

2) Court and Media being undemocratic? How can she possibly say this right after 26/11, when we all saw how the authorities had sent out 'regulations' to the Media... for the first time ever?
* When only recently, judges have been asked to have all their assets listed out of the govt websites.
* How can anyone go conveniently blind on all that's being done..and ONLY focus of whats lacking...especially when things are actually better now! How pessimistic is that? Sure we're not where we should/could have been...but we're getting there. I know it! *refuses to see it with their Leftist negativity-tinted glasses* :p

3) All the Dalits and Adivasis are actually in states, where they have Leftist govts. :-S ...I rest my case :p (case of corruption again...NOT a wrong-doing of democracy!)

4) Se very conveniently dodged the Soviet Union and China referrals, when questioned if she prefers Socialism over Democracy. :p
* Yes Ms. Roy, in theory, every single theory of the world, does and would seem like the most 'just' language/way... How otherwise do you think the Middle East and its terroristic ways of 'all who don't follow Allah should be killed' theory, has as many followers, as it does... Like I said, every single theory DOES seem really 'right', especially, when its on the 'other side' (the 'grass being greener' thingie)

5) The 'vast portion of people', she talks about, are in fact the ones who refuse to the importance of sending their children (especially daughters) to school.
* The same people also are the ones who practice MOST of the female foeticides.
* They are also the ones who do not even want to try modern medicine and still rely on the cave-man's way of cures.
* The same people, are also the ones who refuse to let their women any kind of importance/identity/life.
* Men, from the same section of people are the ones who would rather send their women to clean dishes in the homes of other people and have a 'quarter' each night with that money, than work even a little on their own! :-S
* As a matter of fact, this very same portion of people she talks about, are the ones, who refuse to even let any Law and Order or Welfare officials on their lands. They refuse to let anyone else rule them and continue to live and pass judgements through their own archaic rituals and 'panchayats'. (remember the 'honour killings' feature from last week, anyone??)
* Wonder what her responses would be on these.

6) She doesn’t want Democracy and Globalization to be fused… Meaning, she prefers the Chinese sweat-shops?? *blink blink*

7) Can’t believe she actually says Democracy is to be blamed for the terrorism in Kashmir, Gujarat and with the Sikhs!! *wondering if she should give up trying to help anyone understand Ms. Roy’s delusions…she just has SO many of them*

8) Wonder if the Prime Minister had not apologized, what her retort would have been… “Imagine, your parents get killed and the govt doesn’t even bother to apologize’!!

9) No one has ‘only’ been patting themselves on the back for ‘what all we have achieved’… during each election campaign, at every parliamentary session and even otherwise… all officials and ministers are answerable for every single fault- corruption, terrorism, crime-rates, draught/famine/floods, literacy-rates, etc etc… In fact, they are even called ‘Public Servants’. That’s what a Democracy means Ms. Roy! I highly doubt that the highest official of a city in Soviet Union or China was ever called a ‘Public Servant’! :l

10) Yes Ms. Roy. For all these years, no one has paid any attention to you and your nonviolent movements… and that’s why you are as big a celebrity as you are today! (Yeah right!! LOL)

11) The Maoist terrorism which started a couple of months in India, actually became such big news because mostly their own fellow villagers were being killed by them. Not the Law and Order forces. They started with and still continue to kill civilians. :/

12) Again, amazing the way she dodged the question, ‘If the Maoists and the poor are justified in taking up arms, then is the State, particularly the state where the government is popularly elected and represented, justified in taking up arms in defence?’ :-O

13) She says, ‘I do condemn anybody whether it's the Maoists or whether it's the state, anybody who kills a person in custody, I condemn.’… Meaning, she thinks other killings are justified? *scratching her head trying to make sense of this highly respected lady’s words now*

14) I’d give her the, ‘which court should the poor go to (when their immediate Law and Order officials turn out to be horribly corrupt)’, point. I actually would want to know the answer to this, myself. Still, violence is never the answer to anything. Period! :l
* I’d give her the transparency point as well. Agree that MoUs must be shared with the citizens.

15) Mr. Thapar asks, ‘If the Government were prepared to take your advice, would you in return go to the Maoists and say it now behooves you to also abjure your violence. If the Government is reaching out with one hand, you must return with the other. Will you take that step?’… She responds, ‘If you are talking about me as an individual, I am nobody but I am sure there are people who would take that step. It has been done before. In the interest of the future of this country, all of us are concerned.’… I agree again… It can be done. Nothing that can’t be ‘talked out’. :)

16) *shaking her head again* Can’t believe she asked said, ‘In a way what the Muslims were to the BJP, the Maoists are to the Congress’!! :-O

I just wish people a wee bit less cynical and a little bit more positive….by people, I mean everyone… People like Ms. Roy, people in the govt, citizens of any land…everyone. …Would just make life a lot simpler and happier. I know, I’m a hopeless romantic! *blink blink*
Ponder on…S m i l e

Rage reloaded!!...

2009-02-03T08:29:00.000+05:30

Off late, unfortunately, there have been several cases of violence in my country.

Like we haven’t had enough Hindu-Muslim riots, Churches were also attacked various parts of Orissa and Karnataka, a few months back, by Bajarang Dal (a Hindu extremist group).
Bajrang Dal claimed that Hindus are being illegally converted to Christianity in the area. Sources said Hindu groups have long accused Christian priests of bribing poor tribes and low-caste Hindus to change their faith. To which, Christians said lower-caste Hindus convert willingly to escape the Hindu caste system (Source: BBC)

As if we don’t face enough disgrace in Delhi, U.P., Bihar and Haryana, women were molested in places in Mumbai and Goa; the cities considered to be the safest for women, in India.
A New Year 2007 Eve event at Mumbai's most famous landmark, the Gateway of India, made news after it went horribly sour. Drunk revelers stripped and molested a woman in public view, as her friend watched helplessly. (Source: IBN Live)
In Goa, a British tourist; 15year-old Scarlett Keeling's half-naked dead body was found in end of February’08, on Anjuna beach just metres away from the bar where she was last seen drinking with local men. It was later found that she had been drugged, raped and then murdered. (Source: Guardian)

We were all forced to remember Babri and Godhra again, when the recently Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (another Hindu extremist group) in Maharashtra beat up every North-Indian they could.
On February 10, 2008, MNS workers attacked vendors and shopkeepers from North India in various parts of Maharashtra, and destroyed government property to vent their anger against the reported move to arrest Raj Thackeray.[6] Nashik police detained 26 MNS workers for the violence. (Source: Wikipedia)

And when the Ram Sena (yet another Hindu extremist group) assaulted every woman they could in Mangalore pubs.
Sri Ram Sena was founded by Pramod Muthalik, a former RSS member and Bajrang Dal chief. “It’s a small incident and we were only working against obscenity in public. You are not talking about the issue, which is obscenity and inappropriate behaviour,” Muthalik said while speaking on the Mangalore pub attack. (Source: IBN Live)

I have a question; can someone do a simple background check of all these self-righteous, moralists and frustrated-due-to-some-random-personal-trouble-people. I wonder if even a single one can be found, who hasn’t ever lied, stolen, done drugs, smoked, had alcohol, had illicit affairs, broken traffic-rules, evaded tax, if they haven’t committed a bigger crime.

A lot has happened, and all of that had been pent up.
I hadn’t been writing since quite some time. Since, nothing had been happening in my life. Or was it a simple writers’ bloc. I don’t know and don’t think it matters. But I simply had not been able to pen down anything for months now. Hopefully this should break the trend and get me back to my vent-buddy; my dear dear page.

What instigated today’s quick writing piece, was Mr. Muthalik’s statement which I happened to come across on the net. Shame shame!! So, these people don’t believe in the law and order of our Nation either; exactly like criminals, isn’t it?

I love my country and have always been the one to be called a nationalist, patriot, etc. But when I come across such incidents, I wonder what went wrong?
I love my fellow countrymen. But after such sites, I can't even stand such people.
I have always wanted to live and die in my dear dear hometown; Delhi, when all of my friends talk of moving to better/ developed/ safer lands. But as I see the news on TV every night, I don't feel very certain about my plans anymore.
I am a born Hindu and actually, used to be a proud Hindu; due to the heritage, history, culture and all that. But now I feel ashamed of calling myself one. And chose to say that I am a Human/ Indian/ Peace Lover, now.

How much we keep feeling ashamed about. How long we go on shaking our heads at irrational acts of extremism. For how long would we all keep hiding under the safety nets of our own houses/ families/ social clouts?
The day is not very far away, when any of these could happen to you or to someone close to you… Actually if you count 26/11 in, this has happened to us, and we’re still not doing anything.

The least we can do, to create awareness and wake people up, is to talk.
Ponder on…S m i l e

We The People

2008-01-22T04:31:00.000+05:30

I recently saw the NDTV show We The People, where the topic was ‘Should Blogging be regulated?; basically arguing about should not the ‘immoral/ offending/ misleading/ other potentially dangerous kinds of blogs be regulated?

Sadly, they kept their focus on blogs that write about sex, sexuality or homosexuality. While these topics have nothing wrong with them, they are not the only kinds of blogs around.

I have been blogging for the past 6 odd years and have come across a huge variety; sports, cinema, politics, current-affairs, social-issues, science & technology, travel, photography, IT, journals, cultural, etc.

Like anywhere else in the world, there are people that do good and people that do bad things, in the blog-world, as well.

Can anyone say, ‘all my neighbours’ are REALLY responsible, moralistic, supportive and friendly people’? No. There are bound to be some, who may even have criminal tendencies, for all we know.

In the same manner, there are good (responsible) bloggers and there are the frivolous, immature, and irresponsible ones.

How often, we come across news channels sensationalizing every day, or sometimes even false occurrences, for instance. And in their main-news sections, at that...sometimes the 'entertainment' segments seem like a repeat of the main-news segment, due to this.

How many of us have not seen how much footage is given to pieces like ‘Paris’s imprisonment’, ‘Cruz’s Scientology’, ‘Madonna’s visit to the slums during her recent trip to India’, ‘Britney’s missing underwear’, ‘Aish & Abhi’s wedding’, ‘the invitee list’, ‘Vivek Oberoi’s fractured leg’, ‘the number of Laloo’s kids’, ‘Ganpati drinking milk’, 'Saif's new tattoo', 'Manyata visiting Sanjay while he's imprisoned', or her 'possible baby bump', ‘this one’s new boy friend’ and ‘that one’s latest break-up’… the list is endless! And all this happens, on ALL the channels, while some head-of-states may be meeting up on the same day, to decide the nuclear fates of their countries; this piece of news would get that last one minute, if there is any air-time left with the channels, after their ‘headlines’, ‘breaking-news’ or ‘specials’... How about regulating all that ‘responsible authorized media’ first, before coming to question the freedom of speech of individuals?

But then again, what can you expect from the community, in which, for God-knows-how-long, we have been hearing of eminent painters being on self-exile, given the threats he has been facing for years…art-students getting attacked, in their university premises, during an examination process...lady authors getting beaten up by ‘honourable’ ministers and their fellow party-workers...news channel offices getting attacked by 'respectable' members of another political-party…Shame shame!!

Or should only artists and media have the freedom of speech? Think about it.

Coming back to the show itself, where the featured bloggers were the ones who write about female sexuality, homosexuality and such; were being presented as a threat to our ‘moralistic society’. I kept wondering throughout, didn’t NDTV do shows on ‘why do we not talk openly about sex’, ‘sex education’, ‘lack of sex in India gives way to sex crimes, again and yet more’, etc.? May be, they didn’t after all. It can’t possibly be the same channel, neh? Perhaps they think regulation/ suppression, (of the most natural human feelings in this context), is the only way to salvation/ progression!

During the show, the only two examples of ‘potential dangers from blogs’ that NDTV presented for discussion, were; sex blogs (moral issues) and a certain one blog (which they could not quote); where the blogger in question, had suggested that Ms. Barkha Dutt (the host/presenter/moderator of the show and otherwise a reknown and highly respected TV journalist with NDTV), may be responsible for the death of a few soldiers, while she was covering the Kargil war (this blog post, was mentioned some 3 times through the show)… As a result, unfortunately, in the entire episode, Ms. Dutt kept coming across as personally hurt by that one post and it seemed like she is thus trying to get back at blogs.

My only response; there are sensible people and otherwise- everywhere in the world. And like a lot of the bloggers on the episode insisted, most popular blogs are responsible and do not indulge in misleading facts...and that is the reason why they are popular.

They also suggested that "free blogging only makes sense for countries where the Govt.s do not allow freedom of speech otherwise, like China etc." Perhaps they do not know that blogging and other networking sites are banned in all such countries. E.g. Pakistan, Dubai, etc.
They continued to say that "a democracy like India, perhaps does need to regulate blogging". But isn't that the idea of a free democratic country? Where people- individuals- have a right of expression?

Another one thing which needs to be clarified is that, when people read blogs, they know they are not reading the post on BBC/ CNN/ an authorized release from the President Of India.

I remember a proverb here, ‘don’t believe everything you hear (/read). Use your own mind before following blindly’.

Why is it that Memoirs of a Geisha and other such materials (can't remember other books to list as examples here, right now), by lady writers are treated as a ‘classics’ then? Is it only because the rest of the world accepted them as classics and we had to continue aping West (the wiser ones)? Perhaps. That is the only way of explaining NDTV’s concern with the sex blogs.

Ms. Barkha Dutt herself, had questioned this, on another We The People episode, sometime ago (the one on the current Bharat Ratna debate); Why is it that a Dr. Amartya Sen gets felicitated by the West (Nobel Prize), before we at home (Indians) can realize their value and contribution in their field (great work they may have done for the entire human-kind)?

Isn’t it high-time already, we start accepting whatever all goes on in our societies, instead of continuing to live in denial? Trust me, if anything is happening in the world, bloggers are writing about it… Since it IS the only medium of free-expression left, where ‘individuals’ can reach out and share information, find like-minded people or create awareness in their own way.

With all due respect to NDTV, Ms. Dutt and all others involved in that particular episode, my first response was ‘shaking my head’ at the sheer immaturity. The theme of the show reminded me of how we humans have always reacted the same way ...Whenever something new begins/ takes place… Everyone goes, ‘this would be dangerous’, ‘this is not the way our society runs’, ‘this defies our values’, ‘this is disrespectful to our believes’, 'this kind of a activity should not be allowed', yada yada.

When would we all start accepting a new phenomena, without calling it ‘dangerous’, ‘immoral’, ‘misleading’, or any other such names? Till when would every new venture face negativity, disapproval and such petty wrath from everyone around?

Till when would we continue to call ourselves progressive, and continue such stone-age behaviour?!!

Why can’t we stop being so regressive already?

When would we start appreciating ‘freedom of expression’, instead of just sitting and singing praises of it ...all, in the name of being ‘diplomatic’?

When Sir Richard Gere came on Karan Johar’s TV show, Koffee with Karan, he said that the most marvelous thing he saw in India is how everyone speaks their own mind, without being scared of the society, authorities, bureaucracy, etc.

Would he still be saying that, I wonder?

Ponder on...S m i l e

Science Fiction / Ideation!!...

2008-01-18T17:20:00.000+05:30

Recently, I was approached by a fellow blogger, Man Gro, and asked to contribute to their blog, with technology related posts. A similar request had been put across to me years ago, by another fellow blogger called Totally Nuts, where he wanted various bloggers, of the time, to finish a story he had started, in their own way. So, since this new one came up, I been looking forward to team up again.

A small problem though, as I discussed with Man Gro, I am not really a techie. Not IT literate. Not the kind to load my internet pages with lots of hi-fi stuff. And not from the engineering background either. I am also not the one to surf the Net, looking for the latest versions or toys (read gadgets).

Even though, I have always loved all gadgets, if they seem useful in my life…as far as I am concerned, science & technology to me is simply the means to an end; for further simplification, growth & betterment, in every sphere.

Bur Man Gro assured me that he intends to make that blog a users blog, where people from all walks of life, get to put their POVs across on technology; how its useful in their life, their wishes, and their ideas. He said, “If it was just about IT, I would suffice as the author on the blog”, since he is from IT.

When I think technology, I can’t help but start dreaming (I guess that’s a Piscean trait…or is just the inquisitive thinker in me?). And following are a few things I have always dreamt about, which I thought of sharing here:

* Cell-phones, air-conditioners, refrigerators, microwaves, automobiles and all other machines, entering the new age, and become environment as well as health friendly

* Each machinery also to be built in with a user-identification-sensor (ruling out the necessity to log-in or having to enter passwords each time… this should also help the authorities catch thieves, robbers, hackers etc.)

* Machines also to have a mandatory timer-system, where the user can for instance set it to stay connected for 2 hrs, or to come on, every alternate hour (in case of air-conditioning systems), or to come on at 8am every morning (in case of Radios or Water Heaters/ Geysers), or for them to turn off automatically at 12 midnight

* At houses there should also be a ‘mains’ switch at the entrance, which only the owners have access to… which when turned off, all appliances in the house get turned-off automatically… This would help save fires or the unreasonable electricity bills, which mostly occur when the occupants are not at home; while work or travelling. Systems should also be developed that go on supporting the burglar-alarm-systems, refrigerators, etc., while the other appliances are switched off in such a case

* All machines also to have inbuilt text/video/audio manuals, so that every user, tech savvy or not, can figure out the usage

* Every machine becoming compact, sleek, soundless (no noise pollution) and mobile (or easy to carry);

- feather-light cell-phones of the length of your palm, fully-loaded, with super-fast/ real-time internet-connectivity, unlimited storage capacity, 20hrs or more of video/ still cameras, 24 hrs or more of battery life, connectability to satellites if need be to ensure that users are always connected (losing network in basements or remote locations should be a passé), water-proof, shock-resistant, with automatic network connection when you change location from home-base to a foreign land, with a power connection cable that is wound into the outlines of the phone itself on the inside- so all you need to do is pull out the cord and plug in (basically, ruling out the necessity of having to carry a charger, extra battery, connection cord for computers, hands free, etc.)

- desktops become obsolete giving way to light-weight & even more compact laptops that can fit into your purse and yet be easy to type on (realistically sized qwerty key-board), with the option of having an inbuilt scanner/copier/fax machine/printer/all-in-one, which are faster, with unlimited storage capacity & battery life, and with a removable hard-drive (which is the size similar to pen drives) which are insertable and yet don’t show sticking out on the outside, inbuilt internet cards, webcams, speakers, mikes and the additional wireless head set which is the size of a slick small pen inserted into one of user’s ears, and with a power connection cable that is wound into the outlines of the laptop itself on the inside- so all you need to do is pull out the cord and plug in (basically, ruling out the necessity of having to carry a power cable, external hard-drives or pen-drives, webcams, speakers, head-sets, etc.)

- hybrid and compact vehicles that do not harm the atmosphere or cause further traffic congestions, where the drivers can see the front and rear ends of their vehicles easily, with central-locking, burglar-alarms to the owner’s cell-phones, navigators, temperature-gauges, air-conditioning, entertainment-centres in front of each passenger’s seat barring the driver’s (audio, video, gaming, internet, satellite tv, etc.), parking sensors, etc.

- also the makers deciding to make hybrids cheaper and the other cars more expensive, in order to help our environment… this was people would opt for the cheaper option and thus the makers would be able to get back more than the cost of making environment-friendly vehicles … and only the collectors would opt for the other kind of cars

- cycling becoming cooler with easier rides, rear-views, head-lights, tail-lights, optional umbrellas, with storage space in the front, etc. …so that people opt to take their cycles out for reasonable distances on day-to-day basis rather than clogging the roads with cars all the time

- public transport systems all over the world getting a makeover, where all governments are regulated to match the international safety, sanitation, environment-friendly & traffic norms… all such vehicles coming with inbuilt sensors, where each time the drivers break a rule, their supervisors sitting at the regional-offices get the reports automatically

- also an internal authority coming up with regulations that ensures the local governments connect each and every single of their locations through the public transport… so that no location remains ‘remote’ anymore, at least in the political territories

- traffic-signals, street-lights etc. remaining on manual controls, but with a automatic settings of time… street lights changing every 5mins for example, and street-lights turning on between 6pm to 6am

- each public location (govt. offices, shopping-complexes, hotels, restaurants, even streets & intersections, etc.) to have hidden cameras to keep all those thieves, terrorists, or other stray folks in check

These are just a few of the things I have been wishing for, since a long time. You would notice that a some of these have already come true (laptops coming with inbuilt webcams, user-ids, etc.). But there’s still a long way to go. And I am sure someday all the above and more would become a reality.

I think what has kept the world going and developing is the Scientists (I consider all Sociologists, Politicians, Historians and other Thinkers as scientists too by the way… After all History, Political Science, Sociology, Economics, Geography etc. fall under the Social Sciences category)… and all the people who believed in them and gave them their support, encouragement and rewards. Now, that’s a food for thought!

Time and again, scientists and other thinkers of the world have tried to observe a ‘content society’ in History, or tried to speculate such a world, the conclusion has always been a wipe-out of such communities. Constant and consistent Growth & Development has always come as the solution. So each time someone accuses you of being a dissatisfied and negative person, you can tell them this. But of course unless we remain optimistic, we would not have the courage to take the risks and try change the world for the betterment, now shall we?

An interesting trivia … when the ‘sci-fi’ movie ‘Enemy Of The Sate’ had come out, the surveillance systems concocted by the makers were laughed at by some scientists… where as the others decided to try and develop such a system… Today we don’t only spot hidden-cameras in some such locations around us, not but we can also check out our own residences with the help of Google Earth.

Ponder on…S m i l e

Ex's And Why's!!...

2007-10-12T00:35:00.000+05:30

I love my family and friends, and believe in staying in touch with them. As I believe that one doesn’t come across a lot of folks in life that one would truly like, understand-mutually and get along with.Even when the online networking-communities, chatting, emailing, cell-phones and such things didn’t exist, I used to ensure that I met my people, at least once in a while, and spoke to them, as often as possible.

In case, if I’m giving an impression that I’m a super-bubbly-extrovert-people’s-person, let me please clarify, that sadly, it is not so.
I don’t have a lot of friends, if the definition of a friend is still ‘a person you get along with, like and care about much’. Being the utterly non-adventurous and non-outgoing being that yours truly is, I do not look forward to meeting new people, making new friends as much, because I dread having to go through the whole ordeal of trying to make small-talk initially, then trying to understand a stranger, trying to make them understand you, trying to get past the new mannerisms, foreign styles, and strange demeanours et al.
I like familiarity.
Within the course of life, if I happen to bump into a new person, who seems nice or interesting, the ‘extrovert’, deep down inside me somewhere, comes alive!!But, the few people I have met, over the years, which apparently, made a positive impression on me; the friends, the long-lost pals, and other interesting people…I try to cling on such contacts!

There are various categories of friends. The best ones, other close ones, casual ones, family-members, course-mates, classmates, college-mates, colleagues, neighbours that you got close to, people you met through your existing friends, and so on.And then another category is that of the ‘Ex’s’; ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-fiancés, ex-wives or ex-husbands; the awkward bit.

When a person gets attracted to another, it’s usually, because you like, or respect something about them, they get along with you, or you find them to be appealing in some way. From appreciation to friendships, which sometimes culminate into relationships.When you were fond of a certain someone in the past, so much so that you fell in love with them, how and why, then, can couples part ways for good, even if they broke up on good terms?
I’ve often wondered how people try their best to never even mention an ex. Having the current and the ex’s, in the same room, naturally, would therefore be really far-fetched!
Your friends, who used to be the common-friends between you and the ex, end-up having to, choose between you and the ex; who they like more, or who they are closer to!

For some odd reason, I get along really well, with most of my ex’s. Perhaps because, like the majority, I also had been friends with them, before the dating started. Even though, things didn’t work out for us; the ‘lovers’ anymore, and we decided to part ways, we promised to continue to stay ‘friends’ and in touch, while wishing one another well.

My husband of course, has never been comfortable with this. To him it would be a completely ‘absurd’ idea, for instance, to have any of my ex’s over, while he is at home. This means that, if I meet any of them, I must do so, in his absence. But even I have felt awkward sometimes, bringing them home, and end-up meeting them at public places, like coffee shops or restaurants.
It isn’t that I expect my husband and ex’s to become best-chums with each other, but it could be nice if I could have them both, in the same room, at least, without any discomfort, sometimes.

But, there are some ex’s who probably didn’t know, what they were doing, when they broke up, and as time passed, you realized that they haven’t still let go of you. Or worse, what if you realize that you never got over an ex?
The problem I face is, when I sense an ex still flirting with me, using their charms, or looking at me somewhat-regretfully, or eyeing me, occasionally. Does anyone have a solution to this?

Definitely the easiest answer to this is to tell people to stop interacting with such ex’s.
But that’s what my point is; how can you start pretending that a person doesn’t exist anymore, when not a very long time back, you were such good friends and cared about them? What if it was a best-friend or a family-friend, who became a lover, you later had to break-up with?

Let me please mention here that this is not about some problem, I am personally facing. But rather something I've noticed around me in general, amongst friends, or in the stories I've read or seen. As always, I like to write about any and every socio-economic issue I come across, through friends, society, television, movies, books etc. And none of the questions I ask through my writings are, solutions I am trying to seek for my own issues, but rather a humble attempt at bringing the reader to think about something that made me wonder, and in turn, trying to create awareness on a small level or share information.

Thankfully, I happen to be madly in love with a man, who perhaps loves to more than I love him. And he knows that he is my lifeline; my purpose in life and the reason for how happy I've been ever since we fell in love. Husband also, fortunately, knows that I am a very open and honest person, who considers hiding something, as sinful and pathetic as lying. So basically, there's too much trust, honesty, openness, respect, comfort and love between my husband and myself, for there to be any such insecurities, I guess.
In fact, it was merely this once, when Riaz met one of my ex's, for the first time. He only thought that it was a very weird thing, since the ex had been as close to me. Riaz'd said something to the effect of, 'What, are we expected to exchange notes!!', after having a good hard laugh. And all it took was for me, was to tell him that the ex in question, was an important part of my life, for all the respect and fondness, the ex had treated me with...for how much I respected and liked the ex, since even before the dating started...and for all the good memories that were there. Afterwards, Riaz as a matter of fact, actually got quite friendly with the same ex, since they had a huge thing in common; love for food!

Before I'd suggested Riaz that he must meet this friend of mine, who happened to be an ex as well, I had asked myself the same question, since it is a habit with me that I do not ever want to do or say anything, that I don't want to come back to me!!
When I thought about meeting any of husband's ex, or him meeting his ex's, I just couldn't stand the idea of being civil with one of his ex's, who'd happened to have deserted him immediately after he'd proposed to her. I still think that she acted very immaturely and cowardly. All she had to do, to gain my votes, is that she should have been honest about what she was looking in the relationship. That would not only have prepared Riaz for things but he would have also not felt the painful heartbreak later on. But, I still encourage hubby to stay in touch with everyone who has given him any amount of happiness or anything else positive in life. Since, there's no dearth of folks who hurt you in life. When you know your friends are within reach, only makes the painful moments can get more bearable. Don't you think?

But every time I face a situation of ex's around me in the society, I can't help but feel sad, that one ends up losing touch with someone we might have cared about a lot to have fallen for them, neh?

One can stop liking someone romantically or sexually, but is it really possible to stop caring for and liking the one you loved not so long ago?

Ponder on…S m i l e

My first article published!...

2007-09-21T23:30:00.000+05:30

http://enponline.com/content.asp?PageID=24

S m i l e

Lets make the change!!...

2007-09-16T06:51:00.000+05:30

A few things stay with us, subconsciously, all the time. Like our loved ones, our jobs, pending chores, your aspirations, and even some secret cravings. Whether we deliberately think about them or not, our thoughts either somehow revolve around these things, or can get switched to them, any time.

I have always dreamt of an ideal world. Yes, yes, a thing like that is nonexistent, I know. But when you are dreaming, how can it hurt anything?
Whenever, my friends and I would discuss our ‘dreams’, ‘future’ and such things, and when it would get to questions like, ‘how rich you want to be’ or ‘how much money would it tale to make you happy’, I always had a humble figure in mind, while most others seemed to be worshiping shows like ‘Fabulous Life’, ‘Life Of The Rich And Famous’, ‘Europe’s Billionaires’, ‘Cribs’, or other such shows propagating luxurious lifestyles. I still cannot fathom such blasphemy, considering how many people do not even get ONE square-meal a day, or have shelter during rain/ peak-summer/ flood/ draught/ storm/ snow, or have enough cloth so they can cover themselves in peak-winter!!
Some of my friends think that I got a bit philanthropic after I worked at my second place of work, which was a Foundation. But I do not concur with either; It’s not a news that one heard only six years back, that people in Somalia died of starvation or diseases which are already obsolete in the ‘developed’ world and United Nations thankfully intervened!!

My craziest fantasy- as people refer to things that may not be possible, I guess- is as follows:
* To have a record/census of each and every single individual of the entire world, and to generate identification/serial-numbers to all (to facilitate various government or private aides and facilities), as thoroughly as, having concepts of permanent (citizenship-cards) or temporary (tourist-identification-cards)
* Food (nutrition)-Clothing-Shelter, Health (medical benefits/aides/treatments)-And-Sanitation, Education (at least Graduate level), should be recognized as BASIC RIGHT for everyone. Anyone rejecting/ meddling in-between this process should get penalized
* Environmental-care should get incorporated in the constitution internationally, so that anyone not following the ‘environmental-regulations’, gets penalized
* Maximum punishment for any crime should be life-sentences. No one should have a right to kill. Empty-shots, herbal-anesthesia, etc. should get sold instead of the venomous existing arms, for all; the authorities as well as for self-defense. And rehabilitation of the convicted, should be encouraged
* Law and Justice should be made available till the grassroots, so that anyone can ask for justice and everyone has a right to question the authorities to get information as well
* Quota/Reservation-Systems must be abolished, unless it is on an economic-basis; based on a family’s-total-monthly-income vs. the number-of-family-members, instead of caste, colour, and such criteria. This would eliminate cases such as, a child getting a reserved-seat during school-admission, because he belongs to a minority community, whether or not they need such an aide, considering the family’s financial-status
* The concept of Global Village should be highly encouraged, but not at the cost of the local-businesses/ resources. In other words, Local Economy should be put first, and only in the absence of a local counterpart, should an imported good/ technology/ company be facilitated. And if there already are local-brands for a certain item, for instance, the imported good, must be sold with high luxury tax, to assist local-economies, worldwide. In the same category, local-technologies should also be constantly developed for further betterment
* The vastness in between the uber-rich and the starving should be lessened, by the means of; taxation, compulsory-minimum-philanthropy etc.
* It should be mandatory for everyone to work (and ways must be introduced to make this feasible), so that nobody can get accused of backseat driving, and exploiting the hardworking ones amongst us
* The age of retirement, apart from disability cases, should by 65yrs for all; officers or ministers
* Lastly, issues like Fight-Against-Corruption, Fight-Against-Crime/Dacoits/Terrorism, Serving-Your-Community, Rural-Development, Women-Empowerment, Science-And-Technology, Art-And-Craft, Small-Scale-Industries, Agriculture, and Nationalism- must get highly advertised and worked-on much more zealously by all of us

Ponder on…S m i l e

Staying in touch

2007-08-31T16:27:00.000+05:30

During college, I couldn’t stay in touch with my school friends as much as I would have liked to and communication got limited to weekly-basis, if not annually, at least monthly.
When I started working, things got extremely busy with the competitiveness and connection with family (the uncles, aunts, cousins and such), and friends (now from neighbourhood, school and college), further worsened.
As years went past, I kept wishing there was a better way to stay in touch with all my close and dear friends and other nice people I had come across in life- apart from calling them once in a blue moon or even managing to meet them rarely.
There were emails and even chat-forums. But I wasn’t ever committed enough to ensure regular mailing with all my friends and relatives, and never even liked the idea of staying online, chatting all day long during work-hours at least.

Cut to the year, 2006…
Suddenly the new wave of online communities took over. And guess who else got swept by… yours truly! *:D*

The thing about online communities, used to be the lack of privacy, lack of options for interaction, and the lack of creativity on the part of the members. All one could do, was read up each other’s details in the profile information, see each other’s pictures, videos, and for interaction, go on those arbit ‘So, what’s happening?’, ‘Nothing much!’, ‘And what’s up with you’, ‘Nothing. You tell me!’ conversations or surf some more profile if one wished.
But, the new age of internet connectivity, offers all that and MUCH more to the members. It’s not simply stay-in-touch-with-your-friends-and-make-new-ones-if-you-like, kind of a platform.
The new and the refurbished portals, enable friends to find each other, interact and share, numerous inventive chit-chats, in the form of games, nominations, testimonials, quizzes, virtual gifts, virtual ‘hugs’/ ‘pokes’ etc., apart from the usual messaging and mailing.
Also, instead of having to visit friend’s pages, every now and then, just to see if they’ve done anything new there, now you can simply rely on the ‘News Feed’, which comes on your home page for all the updates on your friends.
One can also get birthday reminders as well on the Home page itself.
Instead of getting all your friends, listed one after another, in one row/table, in the friends list, add some trivia on them, about how you know them, where you met them, since when you have known them etc. to spruce it up- for your own benefit or for your visitors.
There is also, no limit to how much you can add to your own profile information, due to the ‘add on’ features. Whatever becomes a standard, boring question from your friends, or rather acquaintances, e.g. ‘So, what are your hobbies?’, ‘Are you seeing anyone?’, ‘What kind of movies do you like?’, ‘What genre in music?’, ‘Favourite books?’, ‘What annoys you the most?’, ‘Where all would you like to travel?’, ‘What is your dream job?’, ‘Oh! Isn’t Pink your favourite colour?’, ‘Are you on Orkut/MySpace/Hi5etc. as well?’, ‘Baby, please give me the URL for your blog. I’ve lost it again.’, ‘What would you say is your style in clothing?’, ‘What are your favourite things?’, ‘Do you support any causes?’, ‘And, what all are you focusing on, now a days?’, ‘Have you read the book xyz yet?’, ‘What’s the next book on your list?’, ‘What are your favourite songs?’…and so on!!
One can also create To Do lists, calendars, reminders for yourself.
You can also add ‘invisible’ sections to your profile, for some private jottings, as these are only visible to the owners.
...I have nothing against having topics to talk about, with friends, acquaintances or strangers. Who does? But I get tired of the repetitiveness at times. Of course, there will always be the ones, who claim to be too busy to read through your saga of a profile, but seem to have all the time in the world to maintain the ‘so, what’s up’ chat for hours together!! *lol*

Then there comes the big question- how secure is it? Well, with the new and improved portals, in some, members have the option of allowing ‘only friends’ to visit their pages, read their information, and even to see their profile pictures. In a few communities, members can even pick which applications should be visible to whom and which not.

Lately, I have been hooked onto one such portal, and have been trying to get all my friends and relatives under that one umbrella, for easier, more fun, and more interaction with all the security/privacy possible.

We have all come across the latest in crime, where members got conned, blackmailed, robbed, or even murdered- by people they had met online.

I have been maintaining online mail ids since 1998 and that’s all that I used to do on the Net, at that time.
A couple of years later, one day, while I was logging onto my mail-id to check messages, I came across a link, which had been appearing for sometime, every time I visited that portal. It said something to the affect of, ‘Could there be a writer inside you? Click here.’ That’s how I started blogging in 2002!! *grin*
First all I wrote was some random ramblings, then I started on a biographical, then a journal, and then finally I came around to writing the random ramblings again (which I sometimes insist should be called ‘Features’ *ahem*).

All these years of blogging, I have come across a lot of people online, who commented on my posts.
Thankfully, I’ve hardly ever got the inane ‘I want to friendship you’ or ‘you make my heart sing’ kind of contact hits- which is perhaps because of the length of my posts (*lol* The day I realised this use of the length of my posts, I further ensured that my posts always remain as long as possible! *grin*)
For all the others who commented, I replied to them and sometimes even visited a few, who seemed to be leaving sensible/interesting/too-weird-to-pass-without-visiting-at-least-once comments.
And in some odd cases, I even became friends with a few, over time. Some of these friends stayed over years, while some disappeared and new ones replaced them.

But fortunately, my online interaction has been clean and friendly all these years. I guess that should be considered an achievement in today’s times. A friend, warned me against putting up my personal information, email id, picture, etc. on the Internet some time back. And I kept thinking how strange the idea was for me. But the suggestion had been completely reasonable.
Around the same time I started blogging, I realised that the concept of being honest, is really rewarding. If one has no secrets and nothing to hide, life stays much simpler and thus easy. I fell in love with this total-transparency ever since.

What else are the ‘Block’, ‘Scrap’ or ‘Junk’ tabs for I keep telling myself, every time I come across a weirdo again!
And nobody asked you to leave your senses, logic and mind in general, in the closet, remember that.

Ponder on…S m i l e

Nationalism!!...

2007-08-19T02:59:00.000+05:30

A couple of days back I saw an interview of one of the super-stars in Hindi movies- Mr. Shah Rukh Khan himself. According to this gentleman, movies do not change the world. He is an entertainer and his duty and intentions are not to influence people/ movie-goers at all.
The capsule in question, was telecasted on an Indian news channel called NDTV 24/7, in the entertainment-segment (the kind that get re-run a hundred times the same week, if not further in future), during the launch of the new ‘My Can’ from Pepsi, for which he is one of the brand-ambassadors. The above, was his response to a question about one his forth-coming movies, called ‘Chak De’, which is a sports-movie on women’s Hockey- the current state/popularity of our National Game, the standing of women in sports, and the encouragement that sports, other than Cricket etc., get in our country, et all- a first in Bollywood and definitely a first for our man Mr. Shah Rukh Khan, who is usually MUCH MORE involved in more ‘formula-movies’, ‘ultra-glam-flicks’, or the ‘extremely-melodramatic-overacting’ movie genre…in other words- the kind of movie plots that have already succeeded and seem safe-enough for the Indian masses as well as the NRI (Non Resident Indian) markets.
After I heard him say this, I couldn’t help but think about the popularity of the sense of ‘nationalism’ and the sense of ‘responsibility’ in our country- especially amongst the people who have the spotlight and thus ARE HEARD with more attention.

According to the Oxford Dictionary the definitions are as follows:
Nationalism = 1) patriotic feeling, often to an excessive degree/ 2) belief in political independence for a particular country.
Patriotism = strongly supporting a country and being prepared to defend it.
To my humble mind the meaning of these terms, is comprehend as following:
‘Love, respect, and pride in one’s country along with the zeal to serve her, in one way or another ’- not to the fanatic extent, of course.

As far as I can remember, movies have always started trends, cults and characters- if not in style or fashion, then in the kind of movies itself- for instance. Movies have always had a massive impact, especially on the masses, worldwide. Of course, cinema reflects the society, but a lot of times, the society gets influenced by cinema, perhaps as much- like all other forms of art and craft. More often than not, movies start revolutions (if not smaller trends) and create waves that set the world on the brink of newer eras/times. This could be because of the story, concept, treatment, music, style, cinematography, actors, or anything else. Whatever the part which persuades the movie-goers might be, cinema has always been universally accepted as a medium that influences people, right from the times of the 1st World War internationally and since the times of the Freedom Struggle in case of India herself.
To quote a few examples of movies that have either started trends in the movie-business or have caused major impacts, off the top of my head:
English Films:
* Star Wars
* Die Hard
* Rocky
* All of the war movies
* All of the music-movies
* All of the sci-fi movies
* All the spy movies
* All the romantic comedies
* All the junkie-comedies
* All the sports movies
* Mission Impossible
* Matrix
* Lord Of The Rings
* Harry Potter…
Indian films:
* Naya Daur
* Awaara
* Deewar
* Sholey
* Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron
* Disco Dancer
* All the 'Southie movies' that Jeetendra did, like Aulad etc.
* All the 'upper-class-family-melodramas' that the Shah Rukh clan continues to make
* All the 'gangster movies' Ram Gopal Verma produces
* All the 'uber-stylish-word-to-word-scene-to-scene-copies-of-American-or-Chinese-flicks' that Sanjay Gupta is famous for
* Lagaan
* Mr. Shah Rukh Khan's own, Swades, which he made following Aamir's example of Lagaan
* Dil Chahta Hai
* Rang De Basanti
* Lage Raho Munna Bhai…
And I am sure there are a HUNDREDS of more examples in both the above listed categories.

I simply can not ever understand whether Mr. Khan thinks before he speaks at all, considering HOW MANY poor-star-struck-movie-buffs idolize him. Or if it could simply be that because he doesn’t sleep- like it was rumoured till some time back- he is merely incompetent in responsible public speaking.
It takes more than just the self-centred-money-makers, who are struggling to make the most of the high-tide they are riding, coming up with NOTHING original, as far as ‘creativity’ or ‘art’ is concerned and keep repeating themselves in the ghastly run-off-the-mill formulas- with the masses as an excuse, while the masses (and classes together) have made the above quoted kind of movies successful as well…but of course Shah Rukh Khan, Chopras, Johars, Farha Khan & Bro and the likes are way-too-busy to see that. They would go on copying stories/ concepts/ music/ scenes/ clothes/ sceneries/ dance-routines and what not and claim- if caught- that the ‘original was merely their inspiration and that there is ONLY THESE MANY stories/concepts/musical-notes/directions/kind-of-clothes/sceneries/dance-steps etc… Disgraceful!

Creativity is a gamble that the narcissists can neither fathom nor even begin to venture upon. In fact, they would plainly say that they are here to do business and that they are not philanthropists- if at all asked this (Or some would probably give a list of organisation/groups, with the figures, where some of their money is thrown as charity…or how much tax they have paid etc… such petty behaviour can easily be expected from these ‘stars’ in the name of being ‘responsible’). Unfortunately, the media is equally star-struck.

A brief mention of a few of our other leading male movie stars, who manage to do MUCH BETTER than Mr. Shah Rukh Khan, in this respect… (1) Aamir Khan is known for his natural, graceful, meaningful and responsible works. (2) Another one being, Hrithink Roshan, who, although, started in the SRK (Mr. Shah Rukh Khan) way, but finally seemed to have gained his senses after Dhoom-2. (3) Amitabh Bachchan, of course, continues to experiment with various roles and come up with brilliant NATURAL performances, most of the times- unless he is a part of a Chopra or Johar flick. (4) Sanjay Dutt, even though, stuck with the ‘gangster-characters’, manages to do different stories, with believable performances. (5) Anil Kapoor, amazingly continues to do decent work (even if they are copied from the South-Indian movies or others), and his performances, as well, stay on more natural acting rather than overacting- unless caught in a Dhawan production. (6) Salman has a different story and a different character, with MUCH LESSER levels of over-acting than SRK. Though, even this superstar on the Hindi cinema, for some reason, utters all his dialogues, under his breath- and becomes impossible to be heard most times, thusly. (7) Ajay Devgan, like Aamir Khan, is also known for his selective and ‘believable’ work. (8) Saif Ali Khan, remarkably, stays always believable, even if he is in a Chopra or Johar production!! (9) Abhishek Bachchan, also manages to get relatively different roles, where he more than manages to give ‘natural’/‘believable’ performances. (10) John Abraham, even though, relatively new, is still to do something that comes across as silly/overacting/unnatural behaviour. (11) Sunny Deol, in spite of the years, has consistently given us some memorable performances. And yes, most of them have been natural acting. (12) Even the likes of Imran Hashmi, for instance, (his own feelings/comment on his overtly sexual scenes- “the audience loves it”-), is quite a natural actor, himself.… The others like Om Puri, Naseeruddin Shah, Anupam Kher, Paresh RAwal, Irfan Khan, Kay Kay… are all, but of course natural artists- a cut above commercial ‘actors’.
… While, our dear Mr. Shah Rukh, continues to become a part of meaningless filmy (= highly dramatic and animated…in a negative sense) sagas, where he is constantly either mumbling the dialogues under his breath, with the absolutely unnatural expressions (read ‘filmy’ again), and overacting to the extreme, aiming at the NRI markets and mushy-soap-opera-addicted-women-and-other-pansy-folk (given the unnatural scenarios in his movies- anyone can tell this much). I keep wondering, has he EVER reacted/acted, the way he does in his movies, in real life- apart from the times, he is entertaining toddlers?!

I have always known that every Indian movie-maker, can not be a Raj Kapoor, Girish Karnad, Amol Palekar, Sanjeev Kumar, Vinod Mehra, Manoj Kumar, Mani Ratnam or Aamir Khan. For, they would at least TRY to churn up some responsible ORIGINAL cinema and in the process, attempt at passing-on simple moral/ethical/nationalistic messages to the movie-goers. But still, sometimes, when you hear celebrities/people in the spot-light (people who are given a public-platform to address everyone- because they are popular/liked/respected/agreed with by many), talk like this (read 'irresponsibly/illogically/ignorantly/selfishly/while using lame excuses'), you can't help but feel disrespected- for being a part of the market that these movies thrive upon and for not speaking up when you can clearly see that they are not being responsible/knowledgeable/logical at all. *sheesh*

Ponder on…S m i l e

Religions and Gods!!...

2007-08-09T17:38:00.000+05:30

Recently, I happened to read something about the Afghanistan-Pakistan diplomatic relations. And as usual, the trail of thoughts started running wild, pondering on all the questions and racking on all the doubts…
I am a Hindu. My husband is a Parsi. My mother-in-law is a Bahai. I have known Christians, Muslims, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists, Shintos, and people from a few other religions as well. Although, I have not known anyone belonging to the religions like that of Pagan, or the traditional Africa, Korea or China, but I’m sure we can safely put them in the general category of ‘human’ as well *grin*. Basically, I have known the general followers from a lot religions and I have not known a single one of them to be praising wars/violence, apart from while at self-defence. Time and again, I keep coming back to the same conclusion… that it is the selfish politicians and corrupt religious officers (NOT the common people) that keep the sad inferno raging!
In my humble opinion, all of us have our individual opinions. And collective (group’s) opinions, where certain principles and practices are followed; are referred to as religion.
All of us, as the human nature goes, strive at doing good, and well…score some brownie points in process. We all look down upon the ones who do not seem to be fulfilling their duties, harm others and refuse to be nice in general. This can also be taken as our attitude for religion. Everyone thinks they are the best, or at least try to be so. And we all easily manage to belittle anything that we either do not know or do not understand.
As a rule, EVERY SINGLE religion or practice, when the rules/practices were/are getting decided by the prophets/rulers/other decision-makers, strived/strives at being the purest, saintliest and best practice/religion. I mean, can you logically think it possible, for anyone (or especially more so, a group of people), to be consciously deciding one day, to come up with the most backward or the most violent religion in the world?...my point precisely.
Other centuries though, (1) with a little help from Chinese Whispers Syndrome (oral spread of a religion along with its beliefs & principles), (2) and a lot more help (or the lack of it) from the corrupt ministers that the religion comes across, along its journey through times, phenomenon like religious superiority, fanaticism, narcissism, exclusivism, and other such self-important extremisms.
It is always just simple to start blaming… the Christians for making all the traditional religions extinct, or the Muslims for all the wars, or the Hindus & Jains for being the first to go green in their food habits, and so on.
I do not understand why God would mind if we all just stop harming others, fulfil our duties and try to stay happy while making the most of this wondrous gift of life itself? Think about it.
*****
Reference:
* As per Wikipedia, a religion is a set of common beliefs and practices generally held by a group of people, often codified as prayer, ritual, and religious law. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and mystic experience. The term ‘religion’ refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction.
* A study revealed that the most prominent religions today, worldwide, are Christianity, Islam, Non-Adherent (Atheist, Secular, Irreligious, Agnostic, Nontheist), Hinduism, Buddhism, Chinese folk religion, Paganism, African traditional diasporas, Sikhism, Juche, Spiritism, Judaism, Bahai Faith, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jainism, Shinto, Cao Dai, Zoroastrianism, Tenrikyo, Neo-Paganism, Unitarian Universalism, Rastafari Movement, in the same order. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion)
* In the beginning of the times, as we all know, there were no religions. The first four human civilizations (Egyptian, Arabic, Chinese & Indian), known to us, practiced a way of living- which they did not refer to as ‘religion’ (their practices are now referred to as Paganism). Quite a few of the Chinese, Japanese and African till today, continue this practice.
* Hinduism (also known as Hindū Dharma) is a religious tradition that originated in the Indian subcontinent. It is the world's oldest extant religion, with origins in the Vedic civilization. A conglomerate of diverse beliefs and traditions, Hinduism has no known founder. It is also the world's third largest religion following Christianity and Islam, with approximately a billion adherents, of whom about 905 million live in mainly in India, Nepal, and then in Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Mauritius, Fiji, Suriname, Guyana and Trinidad and Tobago. Hinduism contains a vast body of scriptures. Divided as revealed and remembered and developed over millennia, these scriptures expound on theology, philosophy and mythology, providing spiritual insights and guidance on the practice of dharma (religious living). Among such texts, the Vedas and the Upanishads are the foremost in authority, importance and antiquity. Other major scriptures include the Tantras, the sectarian Agamas, the Purāṇas and the epics Mahābhārata and Rāmāyaṇa. The Bhagavad Gītā, a treatise excerpted from the Mahabharata, is sometimes called a summary of the spiritual teachings of the Vedas. Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism are the offshoots of this very tradition.
* Zoroastrianism is the religion and philosophy based on the teachings ascribed to the prophet Zoroaster (Zarathustra/ Zartosht). Mazdaism is the religion that acknowledges the divine authority of Ahura Mazda, proclaimed by Zoroaster to be the one uncreated Creator of all (God). Mazdaism is also widely known under its ancient Iranian name Mazdayasna, meaning ‘the worship of wisdom’. Some scholars have suggested that Zoroastrianism was where the first prophet of a monotheistic faith arose, claiming Zoroastrianism as being ‘the oldest of the revealed creedal religions, which has probably had more influence on mankind directly or indirectly, more than any other faith’. It is sometimes argued that Zoroastrianism had an influence on later Judaism, and therefore has also indirectly influenced Christianity and Islam. Zoroastrianism was once the dominant religion of much of Greater Iran, with its current largest centres in India and Iran. Although older (see Zoroaster for a date), Zoroastrianism only enters recorded history in the mid-5th century BCE. In the early period of the Achaemenid era (648~330 BC), in particular with respect to the role of the Magi, according to Herodotus, the ‘Magi’ were the sixth tribe of the Medians (until the unification of the Persian empire under Cyrus the Great, all Iranians were referred to as Mede or Mada by the peoples of the Ancient World), who appear to have been the priestly caste of the Mesopotamian-influenced branch of Zoroastrianism today known as ‘Zurvanism’, and who wielded considerable influence at the courts of the Median emperors. Following the unification of the Median and Persian empires in 550 BCE, Cyrus II and later his son Cambyses II curtailed the powers of the Magi after these had attempted to seed dissent following their loss of influence. In 522 BC, the Magi revolted and set up a rival claimant to the throne. The usurper, pretending to be Cyrus’s younger son Smerdis, took power shortly thereafter. Owing to the despotic rule of Cambyses and his long absence in Egypt, ‘the whole people, Persians, Medes and all the other nations’, acknowledged the usurper, especially as he granted a remission of taxes for three years (Source: Herodotus iii. 68). According to the Behistun Inscription, pseudo-Smerdis ruled for seven months before being overthrown by Darius I in 521 BC. The Magi, though persecuted, continued to exist, and a year following the death of the first pseudo-Smerdis (named Gaumata), had a second pseudo-Smerdis (named Vahyazdāta) attempt a coup. The coup, though initially successful, failed. Whether Cyrus II was a Zoroastrian is subject to debate. It did however influence him to the extent that it became the non-imposing religion of his empire, and its beliefs would later allow Cyrus to free the Jews from captivity (and allow them to return to Judea) when the emperor took Babylon in 539 BC. Whether Darius I, though certainly a devotee of Ahura Mazda (as attested to several times in the Behistun inscription), was a follower of Zoroaster has not been conclusively established, since a devotion to Ahura Mazda was (at the time) not necessarily an indication of an adherence to Zoroaster's teaching. Darius I and later Achaemenid emperors, though acknowledging their devotion to Ahura Mazda in inscriptions, appear to have permitted religions to coexist. Nonetheless, it was during the Achaemenid period that Zoroastrianism gained momentum, and a number of the Zoroastrian texts (that today are part of the greater compendium of the Avesta) have been attributed to that period. It was also during the (later) Achaemenid era that many of the divinities and divine concepts of proto-Indo-Iranian religion(s) were incorporated in Zoroastrianism, in particular, those to whom the days of the month of the Zoroastrian calendar are dedicated. That religious calendar, which is still in use today, is itself (to some extent) an Achaemenid-era development. Those divinities, the yazatas, are present-day Zoroastrianism’s angels. (Source: Dhalla, 1938).Almost nothing is known of the status of Zoroastrianism under the Seleucids and Parthians who ruled over Persia following Alexander the Great's invasion in 330 BC. According to later Zoroastrian legend (Denkard, Book of Arda Viraf), many of the Zoroastrian sacred texts were lost when Alexander's troops destroyed the royal library at Persepolis subsequent to the taking of the city. Diodorus Siculus's Bibliotheca historia (completed c. 60BC), which is to a great extent an encapsulation of earlier works, appears to substantiate Zoroastrian legend (Source: Diod. 17.72.2–17.72.6). According to one archaeological examination, the ruins of the palace of Xerxes bear traces of having been subjected to fire (Source: Stolze, 1882). Whether a vast collection of (semi-)religious texts ‘written on parchment in gold ink’ as suggested by the Denkard actually existed remains a matter of speculation, but is in all likelihood untrue. Given that many of the Denkards statements-as-fact have since been established as untrue, among scholars, the tale of the library is widely accepted to be a fiction. (Source: Kellens, 2002). When the Sassanid dynasty came into power in 228CE, they aggressively promoted the Zurvanite form of Zoroastrianism and in some cases persecuted Christians and Manichaeans. When the Sassanids captured territory, they often built fire temples there to promote their religion. The Sassanids were suspicious of Christians not least because of their perceived ties to the Christian Roman Empire. Thus, those Christians loyal to the Patriarchate of Babylon- which had broken with Roman Christianity when the latter condemned Nestorianism — were tolerated and even sometimes favored by the Sassanids. Nestorians lived in large numbers in Mesopotamia and Khuzestan during this period. A form of Zoroastrianism was apparently also the chief religion of pre-Christian Caucasus region, or at least was prominent there. During periods of Sassanid suzerainty over the Caucasus, the Sassanids made attempts to promote the religion there as well. Well before the 6th century, Zoroastrianism had spread to northern China via the Silk Road, gaining official status in a number of Chinese states. Remains of Zoroastrian temples have been found in Kaifeng and Zhenjiang, and according to some scholars, remained as late as the 1130s, but by the 13th century the religion had faded from prominence in China. However, many scholars assert the influence of Zoroastrianism (as well as later Manicheism) on elements of Buddhism, especially in terms of light symbolism. In the 7th century, the Sassanid dynasty was overthrown by the Arabs. Although some of the later rulers had Zoroastrian shrines destroyed, generally Zoroastrians were included as People of the Book and allowed to practice their religion. Mass conversions to Islam took place as well. However, there was a slow but steady and systematic movement by the rulers to convert the population of Persia to Islam. The nobility and city-dwellers were the first to convert. Islam spread more slowly among the peasantry and the dihqans, or landed gentry. Later, the jiyza, a poll tax imposed on non-Muslims, probably accelerated the process. Many Zoroastrians fled, among them several groups who eventually migrated to the western shores of the Indian subcontinent, where they finally settled. According to the Qissa-i Sanjan (Story of Sanjan), the only existing account of the early years of Zoroastrian refugees in India, the immigrants originated from (greater) Khorasan. The descendants of those and other settlers, who are today known as the Parsis, founded the Indian cities of Sanjan and Navsari, which are said to have been named after the cities of their origin: Sanjan (near Merv, in present-day Turkmenistan) and the eponymous Sari (in modern Mazandaran, Iran). (Source: Kotwal, 2004) In the centuries following the fall of the Sassanid Empire, Zoroastrianism began to gradually return to the form it had had under the Achaemenids, and no evidence of what is today called the ‘Zurvan Heresy’ exists beyond the 10th century CE. (Source: Boyce, 2002) Ironically, it was Zurvanism and Zurvan-influenced texts that first reached the west, leading to the supposition that Zoroastrianism was a religion with two deities: Zurvan and Ahura Mazda (the latter being opposed by Angra Mainyu). Today, the number of Zoroastrians is significantly lower than it once was, but the religion is alive. Over the centuries, adherents of the faith have dispersed in all directions, but greater concentrations of Zoroastrians may still be found on the Indian subcontinent and in Iran.
* According to Jewish tradition, the history of Judaism begins with the Covenant between God and Abraham (ca. 2000 BCE, Israel), the patriarch and progenitor of the Jewish people. As we know, Judaism is among the oldest religious traditions still in practice today. Jewish history and doctrines have influenced other religions such as Christianity, Islam, Samaritanism and the Bahai Faith. While Judaism has seldom, if ever, been comparative in practice, it has always been monotheistic in theology. It differs from many religions in that central authority is not vested in a person or group, but in sacred texts and traditions. Throughout the ages, Judaism has clung to a number of religious principles, the most important of which is the belief in a single, omniscient, omnipotent, benevolent, transcendent God, who created the universe and continues to govern it. According to traditional Jewish belief, the God who created the world established a covenant with the Israelites, and revealed his laws and commandments to Moses on Mount Sinai in the form of the Torah, and the Jewish people are the descendants of the same Israelites. The traditional practice of Judaism revolves around study and the observance of God's laws and commandments as written in the Torah and expounded in the Talmud. For an insight on the Jewish principles of faith, visit; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism#Religious_doctrine_and_Principles_of_Faith.
* Christianity is a monotheistic religion centered on the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. Christians believe Jesus to be the Son of God and the Messiah prophesied in the Old Testament, and they see the New Testament as the record of the Gospel that was revealed by Jesus. This is the world’s largest religion, predominant in Europe, Americas, Southern Africa, the Philippines and Oceania. It is also growing rapidly in Asia, particularly in China and South Korea (post colonialism). Christianity began as an offshoot of Judaism and includes the Hebrew Bible, known to Christians as the Old Testament, within its canon. Like Judaism and Islam, Christianity is classified as an Abrahamic religion. The name ‘Christian’, meaning ‘belonging to Christ’ or ‘partisan of Christ’, was first applied to the disciples in Antioch, as recorded in Acts 11:26. The earliest recorded use of the term ‘Christianity’ by Ignatius of Antioch.
* In the 6th century, from the oasis cities of Makkah and Madinah in the Arabian desert, the message of Islam went forth with electrifying speed. Within half a century of the Prophet's death, Islam had spread to three continents. Upon the death of the Prophet, Abu Bakr, the friend of the Islamic Prophet, and the first adult male to embrace Islam, became caliph. Abu Bakr ruled for two years to be succeeded by 'Umar who was caliph for a decade and during whose rule Islam spread extensively east and west conquering the Persian empire, Syria and Egypt. It was within Arabia, where Muslims found the idolatry to be rampant, that Islam was propagated by warring against those tribes, which did not accept the message of God, whereas Christians and Jews were not forced to convert. Outside of Arabia also the vast lands conquered by the Arab armies in a short period became Muslim and accepted the One God doctrine against the Holy Trinity which was believed in originally. (Source: http://www.barkati.net/english/)
* Paganism (from Latin paganus, meaning ‘an old country dweller, rustic’) is a term which, from a Western perspective, has come to connote a broad set of spiritual or cultic practices or beliefs of any folk religion, and of historical and contemporary polytheistic religions in particular. The term can be defined broadly, to encompass the faith traditions outside the Abrahamic monotheistic group of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The group so defined includes the Dharmic religions (such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism), Native American religions and mythologies and Shinto as well as all the non-Abrahamic ethnic religions in general. More narrow definitions will not include any of the world religions and restrict the term to ‘local’ or ‘rural currents’ not organized as per the Western standard of ‘civilized religions’. Characteristic of Pagan traditions is the absence of proselytism, and the presence of a living mythology which explains religious practice. The term ‘Pagan’ is a Christian adaptation of the ‘Gentile’ of Judaism, and as such has an inherent Christian or Abrahamic bias, and pejorative connotations among Westerners, comparable to heathen, and infidel, mushrik and kafir in Islam. For this reason, ethnologists avoid the term ‘Paganism’, with its uncertain and varied meanings, in referring to traditional or historic faiths, preferring more precise categories such as polytheism, shamanism, pantheism or animism. Since the later 20th century, however, the words ‘Pagan’ or ‘Paganism’ have become widely and openly used as a self-designation of adherents of polytheistic reconstructionism and Neo-Paganism.
* Shinto is the native religion of Japan and was once its state religion. It involves the worship of Kami (spirits). Some Kami are local and can be regarded as the spiritual being/spirit or genius of a particular place, but other ones represent major natural objects and processes: for example, Amaterasu, the Sun goddess, or Mount Fuji. Shinto is an animistic belief system. The word Shinto was created by combining two kanji: ‘shin’ (Japanese language did not have a script of it’s own. The existing one was borrowed from Chinese, after adding a few Japanese alphabets along with the Chinese characters. The loan words usually retain their Chinese pronunciation, hence ‘shin’ not ‘kami’), meaning gods or spirits ; and ‘tō’, meaning a philosophical way or path (originally from the Chinese word dao). As such, Shinto is commonly translated as ‘The Way of the Gods’. Most scholars agree that there was at least one migration from East Asia and perhaps another from Central Asia to the ancient Japanese archipelago, though there is no consensus as to where Shinto first developed. Some of them claim that it has always existed in Japan, back into the mists of the Jōmon period. Others maintain that it came about in the Yayoi period (c.300 BC–c.250 AD) as a cultural product of immigrants from China through the Korean peninsula, who brought agricultural rites and shamanic ceremonies from the continent, which took on Japanese forms in the new environment. Some modern scholars claim that ‘Shinto’, as it is presently understood, did not exist in this age at all and should be more properly referred to as ‘kami worship’. In the early centuries BC, each tribe and area had its own collection of gods with no formal relationship between them. However, following the ascendancy of the Yamato Kingdom around the third to fifth centuries, the ancestral deities of the Emperor of Japan and the Imperial family were given prominence over others and a narrative made up to justify it. The result was the mythologizing of the ‘Record of Ancient Matters’ (Kojiki, dated 712 AD) in which it was claimed that the imperial line descended directly from the sun-goddess, Amaterasu. Another important kingdom, Izumo, was dealt with in a separate cycle within the mythology and its deities incorporated into the service of Amaterasu's descendants. A more objective and historical version of events appeared in the Chronicles of Japan (Nihon Shoki, dated 720 AD), where alternative versions of the same story are given.
* Tenrikyo (Tenrikyō, lit. Teaching of Divine Reason), is a panentheist religion of Japanese origin. Due to various similarities and some historical categorizations, some consider it to be a form of Sect Shinto- though the beliefs and practices are markedly different. It was founded by a woman, Miki Nakayama, who underwent revelatory experiences from 1838 onwards. After this date she is referred to as Oyasama (literally ‘Honored Mother’) by followers. Tenrikyo is estimated to have about 2 million followers world-wide with 1.5 million of those in Japan.
* The Juche Idea (also Juche Sasang or Chuch'e; pronounced as, approximately ‘joo-cheh’) is the official state ideology of North Korea and the political system is based on it, with it’s origin from Communism. The doctrine is a component part of Kimilsungism, the North Korean term for Kim Il Sung’s family regime. The core principle of the Juche ideology since the 1970s has been that "man is the master of everything and decides everything". The official biography Kim Il Sung by Baik Bong had previously described this as saying that the masters of the North Korean revolution are the Workers' Party of Korea and the Korean people, who must remake themselves under the leadership of the WPP. Juche literally means ‘main body’ or ‘subject’; it has also been translated in North Korean sources as ‘independent stand’ and the ‘spirit of self-reliance’. Other sources have revealed other interpretations.
Source: Wikipedia
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Ponder on…S m i l e

Ignoramus!!...

2007-07-30T14:30:00.000+05:30

We don’t follow any TV show or watch TV for any set number of hours, as such. When we want to watch television, we simply surf channels and then stop where things seem interesting. And the range of our channel-surfing extends to about, some 15~20 odd channels- in the territory of English SitComs/ Travel & Living/ Discovery/ History/ NatGeo/ Movies/ Cartoons/ News Channels (RARELY, for either headlines or great current affairs feature or cookery show or home decoration show ONLY).
This weekend, I happened to catch The Simpsons. Mr. Burns decides to shut down his nuclear plant in Springfield and join the ‘outsourcing’ bandwagon. And guess where he chooses to open the new plant? INDIA!! In the episode, (1) Mr. Burns showed a short movie and then gave a short speech to his staff, on ‘outsourcing’ and how this wonderful new gift has been created for them ‘first world countries’ to relax and have the ‘third world country’ work for their serve them! (2) Guess who is the 1% American worker that gets to keep his job in the company? Homer!! Then, Homer packs and leaves for India and finally reaches the destination after 68 HRS. (3) Upon getting off the craft Homer realizes that he has reached India. Not Indiana, not Illinois, not West Indies, not the land of Red Indians- but India (and they all suddenly start pronouncing it as ‘Iinnn-di-ah’ from this point on, in the episode)! (4) Homer lands at the airport and is facing a bazaar somehow- the kind of wholesale markets that exist in our metropolitans, ONLY in the old city area or suburbs. (5) According to The Simpsons, everyone in Bangalore is dark, where all women wear salwaar-kameezes- if not saris and all men wear kurta-pajamas if not dhoti-kurta. (6) Suddenly the scene switches to Lisa, who gets a call from Dad. It’s about Dad’s latest gizmo, which a cow has somehow got into its mouth as they speak!! I kept wondering, how Homer got to the whole sale market, from immediately out of the plane. Lisa tells Homer to show compassion to the cow. This results is automatic fluttering of eyes and releasing of Homer’s gadget from the cows mouth AND ‘awe’s from the entire pack of Indians!! (7) Right from the moment Homer lands in Indian soil, Arabic music starts playing in the background. So, they think that the music which plays as background to Belly Dancing, is Indian!! (8) Back to Homer. He’s been giving a note on the name and description of the guy who is supposed to receive him at the airport (which reminded me again and there is a old city whole sale bazaar right INSIDE the airport, according to The Simpsons). The note says, ‘male, brown, average height, mustaches, dark hair, dark eyes’!! Before anyone starts bothering to explain that The Simpsons is supposed to be about silly/dumb/daft people- back off- I know that already. But this episode, really took the cake, I’d say!! This was like saying ‘male, white, average height, light hair, light eyes’ for an American. Wouldn’t MOST Americans with European origin look like that? Aren’t people supposed to give details like feature-specifics/ birthmarks-if any/ tattoos- if any, etc etc?? (9) Homer finally finds the man who has come to receive him and then gets to the plant. While parting Marge had given Homer a book on Management, which Homer starts reading out from, when asked to address his new staff (he has been appointed Head of Staff at the Indian plant). The audience (the Iinnn-di-ahns) does not understand what Homer is saying, because Homer is nervous and thus stuttering and stammering and also because he is reading out from random pages in the book, he doesn’t make any sense. At this point, people are shown speaking the typical 3rd generation American-Indian kind of Hindi, saying some REALLY arbit stuff like, ‘Yeh kiya kehta hai’(what does he say) instead of ‘yeh kya keh raha hai’ (what is he saying)… in the typical accent, which according to all Americans, all Indians have. I keep wondering, has NO ONE in America heard any of the REAL Indians from India speak?... Lara Dutta, Aishwarya Rai, Amitabh Bachchan, Naseeruddin Shah, Kabir Bedi, Persis Khambata, Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru, Indira Gandhi, or anyone else? Anyway, at this point in the episode, one-of-the-many-dumb-backward-third-world-countrymen-from-the-hundreds-amongst the audience suggests to everyone that they should all keep cheering and perhaps then the new boss would wind up quickly and then they could get back to their work. (10) Homer is later shown sitting at a balcony, chatting and trying to understand ‘Iinnn-di-ah’ with an aide, who also happens to hold a BPO at his work station for some four different language-speaking regions in the world- which he attends do in the same scene. (11) Homer gets a call from Bart complaining about a bully, his home work being difficult, etc. etc. Homer simply keeps chanting ‘outsource it’ after having watched how things run at ‘Iinn-di-ah’ for a while. (12) After some time, Marge and the kids get worried about Homer and decide to go fetch him from themselves from Bangalore, ‘Iinn-di-ah’. They reach the plant in a ferry-boat (apparently now, even airplanes or cars aren’t available in this backward third-world-country). (13) Mr. Burns gets the family there and then cuts off the group and is shown floating in the Ganges with Mr. Smithers running along the shore, to keep pace with the floating body of Mr. Burns. He is trying to warn Mr. Burns that Ganges isn’t safe for swimming because he can see corpses also floating at a little distance (so badly informed as they are, Americans don’t even know that Hindus cremate?). (14) Finally Marge finds Homer holding a preaching ceremony for the ‘Iinn-di-ahns’ and Mr. Burns tells her that Homer has become a Guru!! Homer is holding an audience of devout ‘iinn-di-ahns’ chanting some non-sense, as if they have been taken over by a bad spirit or something (the way Americans think all Hindus chant and pray). (15) Eventually, Homer comes to his senses after seeing his long lost family and while he is trying to explain his actions since coming to ‘Iinnn-di-ah’, his devotees explain to Marge that Homer had taught them some wonderful things about working- the American and modern way of working- concepts like unions, over-time, allowances, leaves, insurances, etc. etc… they poor ‘Iinnn-di-ahns’, had been absolutely ignorant, and had no idea of such highly DEVELOPED work-culture and labour-rights. (I kept wondering who is the FOOL whoever did- or pretended to have done- research for that episode- if at all, they Americans believe in such concepts of confirming facts and such- should be fired and sued!!!! *sheesh*

The Simpsons is not the only American view of ‘Iinnn-di-ah’ that I have noticed in their TV/Movies etc. There was a movie called ‘Along Came Polly’, where Jennifer Aniston refers to Indian cuisine as ‘exotic food’!!!

Most Americans or rather, most of the West thinks that the language in India is ‘Iinnn-di-ahn’-> No you FOOLS. Our national language is Hindi. The Constitution of India has recognised 22 different languages that are prevalent in our country, out of which, Hindi is the official language and is spoken in most of the urban cities of India. Other than these 22 languages, there are hundreds of dialects that add to the multilingual nature of our country.
America was a land of the Native Americans. Then gradually went the British, Irish, Scottish, French, Portuguese, Spanish, Polish, Germans, Greek, Italian, Russian, along with their slaves from various parts of Africa and Asia. And then later, a lot of other people from various parts of Asia, Africa, Europe and South America went to USA. And that is how there are about 50 common languages spoken in America. But only English is the official language, from them all. We don’t make dumb guesses like America’s language is American, or Mexico’s is Mexican, or Australia’s is Australian, right? But then, Indians are known to be more intelligent than the Westerns too.

I keep wondering why the West keeps thinking that India is ONLY a land of snake-charmers, maharajas, maharanis, Gurus, Yoga, superstition, strange-herbs, saris, pajamas, small-scale-industries-in-the-name-of-economy, no-paved-roads, archaic-conveniences, etc.?
Firstly, we don’t keep assuming that the West is the world of drugs, alcohol, divorces, teenage-pregnancies, DUI’s, home-schooling, swearing, slangs, sex, BDSM, porn, fettish, dumb-blondes, extra-marital-affairs, orgies, racism, etc.
It has only been 60yrs since we got independent. After 60yrs of coming into being, America was busy with killings, loots, chasing gold, slavery, and what not.
Secondly, India has SO MUCH MORE to it. Firstly, this happens to be one of the VERY FIRST civilizations of human beings. Ours is one of the few countries that were already prosperous, way before the West woke up. We been evolving and developing and had already reached landmarks in many fields since centuries before the West pt their first step towards India…Ayurveda, Yoga, concept-of-nutritional-diets, amazing-path-breaking-architecture, high attention and importance for the development of science & technology, equality for all- genders or races (Castism had been introduced as a system for categorizing the population for the government’s purpose, according to the occupations of the folk- (1)soldiers/ (2)priests & teachers/ (3)businessmen/ (4)janitors & servants… sadly, this system kept getting corrupted through centuries, as the original rulers would get replaced by the conquerors from the West). Arthashastra, and even Kamasutra. We didn’t have a religion that would forbid us from doing certain things for being sinful or vice versa Hinduism was only a way of life of Hindustan (the Hindi name of ‘Iinn-di-ah’), until the invasions started. And even after centuries of crusades and exploitations India still prospered, till, of course the British came along. A couple of centuries and when the English had taken our money, jewels and produce to their heart’s content and after they realized that we were serious about our freedom-struggle, they left us 60yrs back. Disheveled, as we were at that time- robbed off our riches and resources (natural included), robbed off our confidence, shaken off our very foundation… today, we are on the path to prosperity again.
While being an agricultural economy primarily, we are soaring again in fields like textile, medicine, information technology, BPO’s, management, advertising, manufacturing, human-resources, sports, music & arts, tourism, heritage & culture, and what not.
Surely, there are areas that still need care, but one can not dismiss the centuries of destruction, devastation, corruption and exploitation that the country and experienced, right from 7th Century. The cultural, religious & spiritual beliefs which got misinterpreted by the record-keepers of the time, the smaller cities and villages that got neglected because the exploiters didn’t see any profit for themselves in initiating any development there, the records, information & resources that got lost, the sciences (like Ayurveda) that got discouraged by the invaders, the various foreign-influences that were enforced upon us for ages, and so on. But it is only a matter of time before, we Indians, as a group, would be back where we were, and go on from there… only a matter of time.
Thirdly, I reiterate, the so called ‘third-world’ is what started the human civilization with the river valley civilizations of the silk route- Egypt, Arabia, Persia, Syria, China, Indian Subcontinent. In fact, remains of the very first Homo-Sapiens were found in Southern Africa… yes, the same ‘backward’, starving, tribal, dirty, blacks that the entire West started turning into slaves.
Fourthly, let’s not forget that the standards were set by the West- when they were the colonial rulers or one part of the world or the other. They decided that to ‘civilize’ a region, they had to covert all locals into Christians, give them the Western Education, teach them English, make them learn the Western concepts of science & technology, mathematics, arts & crafts, business & administration, etc. I keep wondering, if the whole world turns into the British or American clones, that the West seems bound to realize, then what would happen o the local information and development that has existed and still exists in the ‘under-developed’ or ‘developing’ parts? Who is God enough to disregard a traditional African dress, for instance, as backward? Or, who decides, who is high-&-mighty enough to distinguish between ‘developed’ and ‘under-developed’ itself? The Western-drive of ‘work’ in parts of Africa, South-American or Asia is clearly is not ONLY about nutrition & sanitation… there is always Christianity, English and Western standards-of-education that seem to go as a package…I keep wondering why the ‘workers’ don’t learn the African/South American/Asian languages and way of life and along with working on nutrition, sanitation and creating self-reliance? Just because they ruled, can the West still keep setting the criteria? Or can countries/ regions individually live, evolve and prosper, while still being a part of a Global community? When would the feudalism and colonialism end? Any answers, anyone?
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REFERENCE...
Christopher Columbus
Europe had long enjoyed a safe passage to China and India— sources of valued goods such as silk, spices and opiates— under the hegemony of the Mongol Empire (the Pax Mongolica, or Mongol peace). With the Fall of Constantinople to the Muslims in 1453, the land route to Asia became more difficult. The Ottoman conquest of Egypt similarly impeded the Red Sea route. Portuguese sailors took to traveling south around Africa to Asia. The Columbus brothers had a different idea. By the 1480s, they had developed a plan to travel to the Indies, then construed roughly as all of south and east Asia, by sailing directly west across the "Ocean Sea," i.e., the Atlantic.
Most European sailors and navigators concluded, correctly, that sailors undertaking a westward voyage from Europe to Asia non-stop would die of thirst or starvation long before reaching their destination. Spain, however, having completed an expensive war, was desperate for a competitive edge over other European countries in trade with the East Indies (Indian Subcontinent). Columbus promised one.
While Columbus' calculations were inaccurate concerning the circumference of the Earth and the distance from the Canary Islands to Japan, almost all Europeans held the mistaken opinion that the aquatic expanse between Europe and Asia was uninterrupted. As the 16th century developed, a route to America (which they accidentally discovered), rather than to Japan, gave Spain a competitive edge in developing an overseas empire in the ‘new found land’.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Columbus
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Vasco De Gama
Portugal. Both Prince John and Prince Manuel continued the efforts of Prince Henry to find a sea route to India since discovery of newer routes to the ‘golden bird’ would mean monopoly and larger profits in trade. In 1497 Manuel placed Vasco da Gama, who already had some reputation as a warrior and navigator, in charge of four vessels built especially for the expedition. They set sail July 8, 1497, rounded the Cape of Good Hope four months later, and reached Calicut (Kozhikode- the traditional capital of Northern Kerala, India in those times), May 20, 1498. The Moors in Calicut instigated the Zamorin of Calicut against him, and he was compelled to return with the bare discovery and the few spices he had bought there at inflated prices [but still he made a 3000% profit!]. A force left by a second expedition under Cabral (who discovered Brazil by sailing too far west), left behind some men in a "factory" or trading station, but these were killed by the Moors in revenge for Cabral's attacks on Arab shipping in the Indian Ocean. Vasco da Gama was sent on a mission of vengeance in 1502, he bombarded Calicut (virtually destroying the port), and returned with great spoil. His expedition turned the commerce of Europe from the Mediterranean cities to the Atlantic Coast, and opened up the east to European enterprise.
Source: http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1497degama.html
*****
West Indies
When Columbus reaches the Bahamas and the Greater Antilles, in 1492, these northern islands are occupied by the Arawak with only a few pockets of Ciponey surviving. The smaller islands of the Lesser Antilles, in the south, are by now largely Carib.
Columbus and the Pinzón brothers step ashore on 12 October 1492 on an island in the Bahamas. They plant in the ground the royal banner of Spain, claiming the place for Ferdinand and Isabella. They name it San Salvador, after Jesus the Saviour. (It is not known which island they landed on, though one in the Bahamas now bears the name San Salvador.) These are not the first Europeans to reach the American continent, but they are the first to record their achievement. Columbus believes that he has reached the East Indies. Greeted by friendly inhabitants of San Salvador, he therefore describes them as Indians - an inaccurate name which has remained attached to the aboriginal peoples of the whole American continent. By the same token this region becomes known to Europe as the West Indies.
Source: http://www.historyworld.net/wrldhis/PlainTextHistories.asp?groupid=233&HistoryID=aa23
*****
Red Indians
The indigenous peoples of the Americas are the pre-Columbian inhabitants of the Americas, their descendants, and many ethnic groups who identify with those peoples. They are often also referred to as Native Americans, First Nations, Amerindians, or (ambiguously) Indians.
The word "Indian" was an invention of Christopher Columbus, who erroneously thought that he had arrived in the East Indies.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Indians
*****
Indiana
Origin of the name: The name "Indiana" simply means "land of the Indians." This refers to a large number of Red Indians (Native Americans) that were located throughout the state when the first European settlers to this state, arrived.
Source: http://www.centerforhistory.org/indiana_facts.html#inname
*****
World History- quick recap
Till 600 years ago, when Europe was insignificant and America was yet to be discovered, the two together accounted for 75 per cent of the world's GDP.
Source: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/opinion/2005-10/28/content_536947.htm
1st Century AD: The Silk Road (an interconnected series of ancient trade routes through various regions of the Asian continent mainly connecting Chang'an (today's Xi'an) in China, with Asia Minor and the Mediterranean- 8,000 km (5,000 miles) on land and sea- a significant factor in the development of the great civilizations of China, Egypt, Mesopotamia, Persia, Indian subcontinent, and Rome- the term was first used by German Ferdinand von Richthofen in 1877) links east Asia and western Europe at a time when each has, in its own region, a more sophisticated commercial network than ever before- ferrying goods between civilizations from India to Phoenicia. Now the Roman dominance of the entire Mediterranean, and of Europe as far north as Britain, gives the merchants vast new scope to the west. At the same time a maritime link, of enormous commercial potential, opens up between India and China. It is no accident that Calcutta is now at one end of the journey, Hong Kong at the other, and Singapore in the middle. Indian merchants are trading along this route by the 1st century AD, bringing with them the two religions, Hinduism and Buddhism, which profoundly influence this entire region.
6th Century: From the oasis cities of Makkah and Madinah in the Arabian desert, the message of Islam went forth with electrifying speed. Within half a century of the Prophet's death, Islam had spread to three continents. Islam started in Arabia- Persia, Syria & Egypt, including Jerusalem. It spread through the western borders of China to southern France, North Africa, Spain, Sind, Central Asia and Transoxiana, Turks, Palestine, Indian subcontinent, Malay-speaking-regions and Africa, along with the invasions.
5th~15th Century AD: While gold is the most valuable African commodity, slaves run it a close second. They come mainly from the region around Lake Chad, where the Zaghawa tribes make a habit of raiding their neighbours and sending them up the caravan routes to Arab purchasers in the north.
13th~14th Century AD: Silk Road has been unsafe because of the Chinese inability to control the fierce nomads of the steppes (nomads such as the Mongols- Genghis Khan), and the western end has been unsettled by the clash between Jews and Christians at first and now with Muslims. In 1340 an Italian guide book is published giving merchants practical advice on the journey. They should let their beards grow, to be inconspicuous in Asia. They will be more comfortable if they hire a woman near the Black Sea to look after their needs on the journey. The assurance that the road is safe has an alarming ring to our ears: 'If you are some sixty men in the company, you will go as safely as if you were in your own house.' But the list of commodities changing hands on the route can be guaranteed to quicken the pulse of any ambitious trader.
15th~18th Century: Renaissance in Europe - age of exploration- economic conditions improves finally after a series of political/economic/health mishaps in the past centuries. Portuguese Expeditions bring Europe to the Sub Saharan regions for the first time. Negroes have been imported by this sea route into Europe since at least 1444, when one of Henry the Navigator's expeditions returns with slaves exchanged for Moorish prisoners. Europeans develop labour-intensive plantations growing sugar, cotton and tobacco, mainly in the Caribbean and America. By the 18th century the majority of the ships carrying out this appalling commerce are British. Colonialism reaches its prime and due to the exploitation, the ancient golden civilizations turn into third world/under-developed countries.
Source: http://www.historyworld.net/wrldhis/PlainTextHistories.asp?groupid=1920&HistoryID=ab72
*****
Ponder on...S m i l e

Career = Interest, Motivation, Respect

2007-07-23T08:29:00.000+05:30

I have never been as insulted as I was on last Monday. Person responsible- a Mr. Saluja, and a Mr. Ranen Gupta, from the above mentioned company.

I, like God-knows-how-many-gazillions-of-people-on-our-planet, have my resume uploaded onto a few job-sites, just in case if some day a decent recruiter is looking for someone for someone close to my CV.

On the 6th of July I got the following mail (All the mails quoted on this piece of writing are ‘copy-paste’ versions of the actual e-mails. Red ones being from Team PASONA and Blue from myself):
“Hi
Refer your resume on the net; we at Team PASONA India – US$ 1.67 billion Japanese recruitment & Staffing Company (visit www.teampasona.com for more details) - are searching Japanese Interpreter for our Japanese Director. This position is based in Nehru Place, New Delhi.
Are you interested? Waiting for your consent & updated resume, with comment on the following:
[1] Present Annual Salary
[2] Expected Annual Salary
Regards,
Ranen Gupta,”
I replied back the following and attached my detailed resume along on a mail promptly on the 7th July:
“Dear Madam/ Sir,
Please find attached my resume, for your further perusal.I am looking for:
1) A long-term/ permanent and full-time opening, where the use of Japanese language is required, around Central/ South Delhi.
2) A job, which does not require the employee to travel very frequently.
3) Preferably involving secretarial/ administrative/ language-related/ cultural work, in the same order of preference, as far as the job profile is concerned.
Kindly also note that I have been on a break from career since my wedding in Dec'05, as there had been a lot to take care of, on the personal front. I have started looking for an employment again, only recently.
As I am currently on a break, I do not have any income, but please find below the rounded-up monthly net salaries (excluding Perks, Medical/ Travel/ City/ Overtime/ Late-night Allowances, Bonuses and other Benefits), drawn in the previous employments for your reference as well as the salary expected from future/ next employment. As you would notice, the salaries drawn as an event-manager, in the last job was much lower, as they did not consider my proficiency in Japanese of any use, but I had to take up the only offer available on a short a notice, because I had to move to Mumbai due to family-reasons:
1) YKK: Nov’99~Aug’02. Started at Rs.10,000/- and left at Rs.13,500/-
2) The Japan Foundation: Sept’02~Jan’04. Started at Rs.13,500/- and left at Rs.15,000/-
3) 360 Degrees TIML: Feb~May’04. Started and left at Rs.15,000/-
4) Wizcraft International Entertainment Pvt. Ltd.: Jun’04~Oct’05. Started at Rs.10,000/- and left at Rs.12,000/-
5) Expected Gross Monthly Salary from next employment at the time of joining: around Rs.25,000/-, which would be Rs.20,000/- Net, approximately (non-negotiable)
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Best regards”
After this, we both exchanged a few e-mails and I was called for an interview with the Director- a Japanese gentleman from Japan, from the Japanese partner-concern of the joint venture. It was to be held on Monday, the 16th July’07, at 10:00am IST.

I reached, met the Director, the interview went really well. It turned out that the company in India, is at the starting-stage, so there was scope of various-kinds of tasks, which would mean that one would not get bored with the mundane-ness of doing the same thing(s) repeatedly. The Director himself, for whom the Assistant-cum-Interpreter-Translator was being looked, turned out to be a really polite and seemingly-easy-to-work-with gentlemen He also briefed me about the job-profile. He explained that he was handling Sales for this Recruitment Agency and thus in future, gradually the Assistant would be expected to take over a few of the Sales-responsibilities as well, to assist him All this worked out great with me and apparently, with him as well.
Once we finished talking, I was asked to wait and within 5mins, was on my way to meet the Indian-head of this company; the COO- a Mr. Saluja, for the second and final round of interviews.

I was quite taken by a surprise for having found a job, which (1) involved Japanese language, (2) was in South Delhi itself, (3) was not just Translation work (which bores me mightily, if that’s the only part of my entire-job-profile), (4) because of the huge variety of work in the same job, seemed like a genuinely interesting job profile, (5) did not involves excessive traveling, (6) and SO quickly at that (I had started job-hunting seriously, only since last week, after my exams finished), (7) AND for getting through the 1st round so quickly and going for the 2nd round on the same day- within the same hour!!
Naturally, I was quite anxious and nervous, because I was looking forward to this mightily, now that it seemingly, fit my criteria (I assumed this, because, my Criteria, was the first thing I had sent to this company- I had done this in writing and on the very first stage because in the past job-consultants have wasted a LOT of my time by suggesting and even sending me sometimes, to random companies, located some 50kms from my house, involving constant travel, with random profiles/ strictly Translation profiles- which I strictly do not want to do, and so on)

The interview with the COO (quite a mocking, sarcastic, belittling and startlingly unpolished kind of a gentleman, for starters), started, went on and finished in lesser time than it had lasted with the Japanese-head of the company. Throughout this second session of interviews though, he kept trying to keep belittling me, as if I were there to begging and pleading and prostrating for this job. Or as if he thought that I was lying and therefore had the excuse to interrogate me rather than ‘interview’. HE asked me about my entire family- the fact my father happened to have been a Senior Auditor in probably the biggest university in India, that my eldest-sister was a scientist, her husband a CA, my elder-sister a reputable fashion designer, her husband a well-to-do businessman, and my husband a senior-manager-events…didn’t seem to faze this gentleman even slightly. Rather, he kept hearing my side and rejecting these facts with a meager grunt. Then he asked me about my educational background, which again, in spite of all highs left him quite unimpressed. The professional background followed, where I reminded him that I had held managerial positions in the last 2 jobs- at this his only reply was on the lines of, ‘That, companies keep doing for the sake of business cards to impress prospective clients as such’. He then grilled me about whether or not I was serious and looking for a long-term career. I simply reminded him of my first response to their offer via e-mail, where I had mentioned my STRICT criteria, only because I did not intend to take up just-about-any-job and then switch for a better offer soon after. I wanted to stay for at least a couple of years with whatever I picked up, if not longer. Soon after he apparently had had enough ego-boast with the interrogation, he dismissed me.

I was asked to return to the office at 05:00pm IST, to accept the Offer-Letter. This meant that I had got the job and it was only a matter of the number-crunching hereafter, which I was sure would not be an issue as I had mentioned clearly in my Criteria in the very first communication to them what figure I was looking at (25,000INR Gross Salary, which would be 20,000INR approximately Net- BESIDES the perks and benefits). Apart from all this, the market value for a candidate who has JLPT Level 2 (a Japanese Language Proficiency Test, similar to TOEFEL) + has more than 6yrs of experience, is around 40,000INR in Delhi NCR. Even though, I keep getting at least one offer every day for the ‘NCR’ jobs, the only problem with them is that they would be 50kms away from my house which would mean that I would end up being out of the house from 6am to 8pm and the household work, cooking etc, would go for a toss- this I do not want.

Anyway, I went back home (a stone’s throw away from this office), and tried to relive the entire morning- a general habit of mine, and realized that I had missed out mentioning/specifying/reconfirming a few things, in all my anxiousness, which I should have told them- in all fairness, so that they do not end up taking up a wrong candidate and I do not end up with a dissatisfying job either. Like the fact that I had a Gallbladder removal surgery in Aug last year and was on bed-rest for a week. And the fact that I find Database Management; really boring, but could only handle doing it- if it took up to 10% of the job-profile. And reconfirm that I was going to get a Japanese-boss (couldn’t even digest the idea of having to report to the COO). And that the profile was mainly Interpretation-Translation and Assistance for the Director. That I needed a few days time to sort things out before I could join the firm (I had told them that I am available and not working and thus could join ASAP)… all this speedy business had made me a little dizzy during and after the interviews.
I swiftly typed out all this and e-mailed at 01:00pm IST, to Mr. Gupta- trying to stay honest in all my answers completely in my end of the bargain.
Got a reply at 02:50pm as follows:
“Hi
Please do drop in around 5 today
Regards,
Ranen Gupta”

I reached the office again at 05:00pm IST and met the COO. Who again mocked me for the e-mail and I had to explain to him how sudden all the proceedings had been for me and I wanted to ensure that you have ALL relevant information on me, before you make an offer. He then nodded, and insisted that he had understood this explanation and ‘welcomed’ my aboard. I thanked him and politely reminded him that it was still subject-to the Offer Letter and the Salary-Break-Up. He hinted that they were being gracious and offering 20,000INR Net per month, as I had asked. He told me that initially, as they are a new firm and have not registered with the Employee Provident Fund office, there would not be any deductions from my salary. I still wanted to see the Break-Up on paper, I insisted politely (I find numbers REALLY hard to understand, unless I see them on paper or on a computer…anything but verbally). He then asked me to wait.
So I waited….for a good ONE AND A HALF HOURS. By this time, I knew that my maid had long gone and thus again the house would not get cleaned (we have hired a part-time cleaning lady, who come, do the cleaning & dishes, and even laundry/dusting/cooking in some cases- like many other people hire, in India). I had asked her to come by 6:30pm thinking I would be done with the whole signing-Offer-Letter-deal within an hour, max (what did I know!).

Finally, at a little before, 07:00pm IST, the COO called me into his cabin and handed me the Offer Letter, along with an Annexure for Salary Break Up, and asked me to read through it, then sign the acceptance duplicate.

As per the Offer-letter, they were offering me the designation of an Assistant Manager- I pointed this out again reminding him that I had been an Assistant Manager for 3yrs in the past and had been at Managerial grades for the past 3yrs. He simply ignored my concern with a wave of his hand, again probably, trying to make me believe that employers gave designations to their employees only for the sake of ‘impression-on-prospective-clients’. I thought it best to read through first and then raise my issues with their Offer, so I plodding on.
According to the Salary Break Up (I checked again and again), they were offering me 23,000INR at Gross salary (out of which the House Rent Allowance meant nothing to me, because my husband had been and would continue to claim it- his taxes being much higher than mine, naturally). Here, I first pointed out that my requirement, as I had mentioned in the very first mail to them had been for 25,000INR Gross. He first explained that firstly, the break-up elements didn’t really mean anything, and were only means to reduce tax. Then he further clarified that because they were not yet a registered firm, they weren’t associated with the Employee Provident Fund board yet. Since there would be no PF deductions, the Gross salary would mean the Net salary and that I would be walking away with 23,000INR, every month for this easiest-job-in-the-world-for-which-I-should-be-kissing-the-soles-of-his-shoes-right-now (getting highly agitated by this point). He ending his spiel by reminding me that I had asked for a Net of only 20,000INR and it the-very-dearly-gracious-Mr.-COO that had decided to drop an extra 3,000INR in the invisible pan, which he probably thought I had been holding out all this while. After explaining the Salary Break Up, by which point he had started yelling at me, he started saying something to the effect of, ‘We here, are trying to be nice to you by such a generous offer and you are trying to bargain with us!!’

This was the very first time, in my life, that anyone, had even-ever-so-slightly-raised their voice at me and even remotely tried to accuse me of something (the behavior and manner of talking of the COO had been way-below-my-standard to start with, but since I had already clarified that I would be working and running orders ONLY for the Director, I had chosen to ignore this utterly imprudent man. You can’t possibly love all your colleagues and it didn’t seem to matter if someone I wouldn’t have to interact with, was an animal, at my work-place). I reminded him that I wasn’t the one bargaining, but rather, they were. And that my requirement had been 25,000INR Gross, which would be somewhere around 20,000INR- and in no way had I suggested that they had a choice in either giving me the demanded Gross or Net and secondly that I had clearly stated that my demands were non-negotiable.
At this, he further raised his voice, and said, “You know what, just leave this Offer Letter right here and walk out.” I had long walked out of his office in any case and was standing in front of the Director now, while fighting the tears back, and apologized to him about having to reject their offer and leaving. He naturally asked for the reason and I explained that ‘they’ had been trying to ‘bargain’, while my demands had been crystal clear all along. That instead of reading carefully, they had wasted SO much of everyone’s time in this ordeal and caused me A-LOT-OF-grief. That I had never been insulted like this in my entire life. By this time the COO had followed me out and Mr. Gupta (the gentleman with whom the entire correspondence had been taking place) had also started yelling at how my demand had been only for 20,000INR Net!!
I asked him to open the VERY-FIRST-E-MAIL I had sent to them, in reply to their first e-mail to me. And then I showed him the very last point- “Expected Gross Monthly Salary from next employment at the time of joining: around Rs.25,000/-, which would be Rs.20,000/- Net, approximately (non-negotiable).” I had to remind this gentleman, who clearly lacked even-the-basic-levels-in-proficiency-in-English, that no where had I suggested that they had a choice in the matter or that the salary was negotiable (it was getting really hard to breathe by now, because firstly I wasn’t being able to hold the tears back anymore and I was fuming so much).
In response to my pointing out the last bullet from the very first communication to them, Mr. Gupta made some daft and feeble attempts at trying to complicate my statements from the e-mail and their Offer Letter with some ‘official jargon’ but by this time I had REALLY had enough and thus stormed out.

All I could think about was how utterly hopeless are candidates that get exploited by prospective employers like this, because there is no way you can complain against them. Why? Well, the COO was as I mentioned earlier, a senior from the Indian-partner. Therefore, there was no point at trying to raise hell there, which would surely be another ‘lala-company’ experience.
The Director (who was from the Japanese-partner)- (1) hardly understood what had happened and with the tears and fuming, I naturally hadn’t had the patience to interpret the entire episode to him. (2) Would obviously trust his colleagues rather than me- a person he hardly knew for 8hrs!
The Japanese-partner-firm, would also follow their employees and partner’s story, rather than some unknown foreigner’s tale.
I kept wishing there was a Union of some sort, for the unemployed, where the members could complaint against such humiliation or exploitation et cetera.

After having walked for 15mins in search of an auto-rickshaw, I called up my husband and started howling and replayed the entire episode. Even he was in shock because he’d never heard of such uncouth people in offices other than ‘lala-companies’ (REALLY small businesses started by uneducated, unqualified by the local street-smart people) or government offices.

I have really never been so immensely humiliated in my entire life, and God-forbid, anyone else goes through such disgrace. It took me a week to get out of the shock myself and start my first efforts at trying getting over the incident. And as usual, writing is therapeutic.

Whatever hurt or pain we cause, we suffer for it- sooner or later- in this life itself. And when the Almighty takes care of things, there remains only justice!

Ponder on…S m i l e

Save The Environment! Save Yourself!!...

2007-07-08T07:06:00.000+05:30

The ways are actually, really simple. If we only make a little thought and effort:

Save the environment. Switch from aerated cans to glass bottles
Save the environment. Repair the out-of-order electrical-fittings/ water-fittings etc. Do not waste the resources
Save the environment. Switch to paperbacks instead of buying new books or even reading on the Internet. We can save paper or electricity by doing this
Save the environment. Switch to your own carry-bags or at least recycled-paper-bags instead of plastic bags.
Save the environment. Switch to home-remedies for small-illnesses at least for the first two days. You can never know for sure how many allopathic medicine use animal/plant ingredients
Save the environment. Switch to green. Remember that man is an omnivorous animal, and therefore, can easily survive on the vast vegetarian food variety, without causing extinction of any plant/animal-type
Save the environment. Turn the volume down. You’d be surprised at how much your own hearing would improve
Save the environment. Recycle; metal, glass, paper, etc
Save the environment. Reuse clothes. You’d be surprised how long a typical piece of clothing can actually last. If you feel embarrassed at wearing the same piece of clothing, for a long period, you can either use some tailoring skills and turn them into something else or use then as nightwear, and thus get some really soft and familiar clothing to wear while at sleep- just what we all want, isn’t it?
Save the environment. Reduce your consumption of fuel, water, electricity, paper, animal-products, other natural resources as well as polluting-substances
Save the environment. Reuse left-over food instead of throwing it away. Either use it as a filling for home-made-gourmet-sandwiches/ paranthas/ tortillas etc. or sorte it, and viola! You’ve got yourself some real yummy, quick and easy meals. Or if you really do not want to eat the same thing again, give it to a beggar or stray animal- you’d only get their blessing
Save the environment. Plant a tree. One tree, can produce nearly 260 pounds of oxygen
Save the environment. Try to stay as natural as you can. Natural fabrics, herbal products, fresh food, bicycles, appropriate clothing according to the seasons, outdoors, fans instead of air-conditioners- when possible, as much as possible. These small gestures would not only help you get a much simpler and easy lifestyle but would also reflect positively for posterity
Save the environment. Say no to animal-products. Fur, ivory, unnecessary usage of leather, etc. Even for shoes, it is not absolutely vital to use leather, because of material like jute, natural fabrics, plastic, rubber etc.
Save the environment. It is not crucial for a ‘party’ to have inhumanly-high-sound-levels or loudspeakers; at least try not to do it in the name of God/ wellbeing of other humans. Noise pollution causes deafness
Save the environment. Say no to fire-crackers or excessive-lightening during celebrations. There are much better, simpler, friendlier and environmental ways to enjoy- smile, sing, dance, eat delicious delicacies
Save the environment. Stop wastage of anything. Purchase only what and as much as the requirement
Save the environment. Remember that anything that burns, produces Carbon Dioxide, which pollutes air
Save the environment. Instead of eating processed food, indulge your culinary skills and you might amaze yourself at how easy it is to create what you want, tasting exactly the way you like it and at whatever time, and in the process, save fuel and power
Save the environment. Before using an insect-spray next time around, try and think about what happens to the spray when it gets into the atmosphere- around you! If it is toxic for insects, how safe can it be for humans? Switch to swatting or shooing-out insects and rodents, from now on
Save electricity. Switch from florescent bulbs to compact halogen lights
Save electricity. Switch to wrinkle-free fabric. Save energy consumed by electric-irons thus
Save electricity. Switch to box-games instead of playing in the gaming-stations all the time. This would make you feel great, for a change
Save electricity. Switch to the outdoors, when it is pleasant, instead of staying indoors all day long. Save power consumed by lights, fans etc
Save electricity. Switch off. When you’re not using an electronic item, turn it off. Even on ‘stand-by’ mode, they consume energy, be it televisions, satellite-TV-reception-boxes, music systems, gaming stations, movie-players, computers, UPS, printers, scanners, digital-cameras/ cellular-phone-chargers, etc.
Save electricity. Turn off; the air-conditioners/ heaters off once the room has become pleasant enough
Save electricity. Instead of watching TV, DVDs, gaming, go outdoors. Sit in your balcony or by the window and enjoy the views sometimes. It wouldn’t hurt, would only help your eyes rest a bit, help you clear your thoughts and save electricity
Save electricity. In winters, layer-up instead of using heaters. Till 0 Degrees Celsius, a normal human being can easily live, provided he is appropriately clothed
Save electricity. In summers, shed-off instead of having the air-conditioning turned on perpetually. An average human, can easily live till 30 Degrees Celsius, if clothed appropriately
Save electricity. Open your windows/ curtains/ blinds. Use natural sun-light and natural breeze. This is much more healthy for you as well
Save electricity. Instead of turning your computers on and then thinking about what you want to do/write, think beforehand. Do the same for internet usage
Save fuel and electricity. Switch to fresh food instead of processed. Go fresh. By doing this, you’d not only save the power consumed in ‘processing’ but also get healthier
Save fuel. Switch to local goods instead of buying imported items, and thus save the fuel consumed by aircrafts/ ships/ trucks etc. on their transport. At the same time, you also encourage and promote your local large or small-scale-industries by doing this and save yourself from possible outdated or fake products, which is highly likely to happen, in case of imported goods, as we all know. And remember, demand causes supply. If there is no demand, the newly-developed goods, that get through to us, thanks to advertising and what not, would have to stop getting supplied, eventually
Save fuel. Switch to downloaded music instead of buying CDs. Save fuel consumed in transport this way
Save fuel. Switch to healthy eating habits. Over cooked food (which uses more cooking-fuel or electricity), is not healthy for anyone
Save fuel. Walk sometimes, instead of driving the cars constantly. You’d thank yourself to be off the headaches you get while driving in traffic, you’ll get healthier, and you’ll save fuel
Save fuel. Carpool, use buses/ trams/ city-trains/ subways
Save water and electricity. Do your laundry weekly instead of daily and you’d e surprised how much water you can save
Save water and electricity. Do not change the linen, if it is not dirty. Typically, in an average household, table-covers, cushion-covers, napkins and towels can be changed on a weekly basis instead of daily, and still maintain hygiene. Sheets and pillow-covers can be washed as they get dirty instead of washing every day, whether necessary or not. Curtains, upholstery covers etc. on the other hand can even be washed on half yearly basis, or monthly, as required. Of course, if there are small children in the house, one needs to take the call accordingly, keeping in mind that small children have a habit of putting everything in their mouths. Of course, no one is trying to promote lack of sanitation
Save water. Switch to bucket-baths, instead of using a bathtub or a shower sometime. You’d be amazed at how much water this simple act can save. An average human being, of 5’7”, 60kgs, can easily have a bath everyday with only 1 bucket of water
Save water. Do not keep flushing the toilets, basins or drains unnecessarily
Save water. When not required, turn the taps off; especially while shaving, brushing your teeth, washing your ands or face etc.
Save water. Reuse. Water from the kitchen, wash-basin and the shower, can be reused for irrigation, toilets etc.

The above are only a few ways, which I could think of, off the top of my head. But even if we commit to these few, it would make a huge difference... From little things, big things grow!!

Educate. Tell someone else. If you can share the information, even one person, every month, it would be a huge contribution. Instead of gossiping or idle chatter, talk environment and talk health. If you think, ‘Everyone knows about all this same-old-boring-stuff that the environmental-agencies, governments and even some celebrities keep harping about’, you’re in for a big surprise. How else could it all have reached this far?
Save yourself. Save your planet

If you are thinking, that all these points are such utterly-commonly-known-simple-facts, then how come our environment has reached the current stage?

Global warming; melting of ice-caps, increase in water-levels, tsunamis, floods, excessive-rains, increasing temperatures in summers, decreasing temperatures in winters
Ozone layer depletion, green-house-effect
Extinction of numerous species from the food-chain
Various related diseases like asthma …The list is really endless. Please wake up, it is already quite late!!

Take a pledge today. You may visit any of the following sites, or look up organizations working in your own local areas, or in the area of your interest. Make an effort:

Ponder on…S m i l e

Commitments!...

2007-06-27T06:33:00.000+05:30

I had started a 3yrs degree course, through distant education, back in the year 2000, but hadn’t finished because of the long hours at demanding jobs that needed complete attention. I had cleared half of the exams and assignments in the first one and half years, but after that the career kept getting highly competitive, and then some. Besides, I had known all along, that I could always finish it, as the university gave the students, 8yrs time duration for this particular degree. I had always planned that once I get married, as I would be taking a break from working as well- to settle down at the personal front, I’d be able to make time and give my full focus to finish the course also. But like, I’ve mentioned earlier, the first year of our married life, we ended up spending, in and out of hospitals, for various illnesses- mine, husband’s and my mother’s. But now that finally things had been going well (touch wood!) since around March this year, after having taken care of a few other urgent matters, I decided, it was time to tend to this pending to do, from ages back, as well. Above and beyond all, this was the last year of my 8yrs-maximum-permmitted duration as well. The exams take place in June and in December I knew, and was planning on giving mine in December so that I get at least 6 months to prepare for all the courses I had not cleared yet.
Which is why, on the 23rd of April, I hired a cab (the head office of university is on the outskirts of Delhi and I did not want to risk and depend on my usual auto-rickshaw-hunts) and set out, prepped for a rough adventure (Govt. or University offices are quite difficult sectors to deal with, as most of us know), to check about my grades’ status and to generally find out other things like…by when I should fill up the examination-form, get my address changed, where I could submit the remaining of my assignments, etc.
They told me that I had not cleared 11 subjects out of the 16 that I had selected. They gave me a print out of my grade sheet, which also made clear how many assignments I still had to do. But then was when they dropped the bomb…I was told that as I had started the course in January 2000, my 8yrs time period ended in July and not December and that is why, I had to give all my pending exams in June!!…It was a very HOT May morning- when the sun was almost on top, I had stepped out of the house on my own for the very first time- in about a whole year and it was also the first time in a year that I was out around noon… So, once I heard the news from the ‘Students Facility Desk’, I started feeling like I was falling in an endless pit, like I dream sometimes. Whether it was fatigue due to the heat and dust, or the affect of this shock, I don’t know.
But thankfully, I still had senses enough, to fill out the examination-form, with late-fee (as the last date had been around the May 1st), fill up the change of address intimation form (or else, I would have had to go all the way to Pitampura- my parent’s house, from our residence, in South Delhi, to give each exam), collect the study material, for those 11 subjects, which I had not received, try to get as many help-books/ guide-books/ sample-papers, as I could find for these 11 subjects, and buy all the other books in the syllabus from the regular book-stores.
The moment I finished all this, I called up my husband, mother, father and sisters- my support system, and cried my heart out to each of them, one after the other, in the same order. They all, naturally, were also in deep state shock. The parents and sisters more so, as they knew that I hadn’t ‘studied’ for anything since 8yrs! But they all, thankfully, managed to keep a brave front, for my sake and encouragement.
- The same evening, when husband came back home, and saw the pile of 77 text-books (7 text-books for each of the 11 subjects), along with the 3 guide-books that I managed to buy in a book-shop next to the university itself and the 12 other books- novels, plays etc., I can swear that he freaked out REALLY bad. I don’t think he has seen that many books together, in his entire life- he being one of the ‘outstanding’ (the ones who are always standing ‘out’ of a class…old silly joke) category of students. But still, after recovering from the initial shock, he managed to maintain a poker face ever since, but not helping to look awestruck for the rest of the time, when being in the vicinity around my study-table.
- My mother, like a disk stuck on ‘Repeat’ mode, kept telling me, in every single conversation we had, from that moment on, how big a maniac she has always thought I am (of course, meaning in the ‘highly enthusiastic’ sense). But I couldn’t help getting irritated after the 3rd or 4th time. Plus, I was QUITE nervous, quite naturally.
- My father, being the quintessential himself, as always, simply said, “If you’ve started something, you had to finish it, all along. Don’t fret. Just take one thing at a time and remember, tension can only make things worse.” I kept nodding throughout his monologue, apart from the bit about ‘tension, only making things worse’. Easier said than done!!... *deep sigh* I almost cried at this point each time I talked to him.
- My eldest sister is a scientist for about a decade now. But she was always the kind to pick up, ANYTHING and keep reading. After her graduation college (gold-medalist there, thankyouverymuch), she studied further and did her Masters (topped there too), after that she did an ‘advanced’ training in her field, then she got married and went to Ahmedabad, joined an organization and in a couple of years, became a scientist too. But till date, it’s been more than a decade since her marriage now, she, like our father, keeps studying further- certificate courses / training programmes / diplomas / degrees. Therefore, this one was a little more practical in her advice. But I kept imagining her with horns, wickedly saying, “Now you’d know how it feels to be studying when you’re almost in your 30s *bu ha ha ha*!!” By the way, my eldest sister had always been my mother while our mother was at work- feeding, teaching, protecting and taking care of me along with her flunky- my elder sister.
- The elder one, in every conversation, kept sounding as freaked as Riaz, for similar reasons as Riaz. They both, had done fairly okay in their education, but managed exceptionally well in their careers, and thus are at the kind of statuses. Both were only too happy to be getting off ‘studying’ after their graduation degrees, and then never picked up a book ever again! *Vangelis’ track ‘Chariots of Fire’ plays in the background*. For my June exams, even she couldn’t help, sounding like she was in awe too and seemed to be giving me credit for my courage.
In all, I knew I had 77 + 3 + 12 books to read, understand AND memorize in the next one month. And the family only supported…what else could they do? Seriously, I pity them for having to put up with my tantrums, whenever I’m studying/working/doing some household chore etc…acting oh-so-important! *sheesh*
On the 24th, I organized all my books according to the difficulty level of the subjects, for me. And simply started reading one book after another, one subject after another- I didn’t want to waste too much time trying to memorize one subject, and then end up missing out on time for another.
I started studying day and night, 18hrs a day, studying while eating, studying while sitting on the pot, having a book by my side while cooking and peeping into it every 5mins and then trying to memorize some date/name/place etc. I gave up writing, listening to music, watching TV, watching movies, socializing, meeting my parents, hanging out with my elder sister, chatting with the eldest one, even checking mails/offliners, indulging in cooking delicacies/ parlour visits/ anything else apart from studying for these exams. I had to, considering I was attempting at finishing something I should have taken a year and half- in a mere month!!
Till the 25th May, I had managed to finish 4 of the toughest subjects and was going strong on the 5th one, having finally come back in the flow of ‘studying’ too.
That’s when I got the Hall-Ticket for the exams in June, in response to the examination-form that I’d submitted at the university. It simply gave me details of the venue- which was thankfully in South Delhi (meaning they had noticed and registered my change of address), a date-sheet for 6 subjects out of the 11 that I had filled up in that form, and a footnote saying, ‘You have already been passed the Term End Exams for the other 5 subjects that you’d filled up, namely…, and only the assignments are yet to be submitted- which is why your grade card reflects that you have not ‘cleared’ 11 subjects.’
Guess what? The 4 subjects I had already prepared for were out of these ‘5’ that I had already passed in exams! I was happy on one hand, given that I only had to study for 6 exams instead of 11 now, but mighty annoyed with myself at the same time- for not understanding the grade-sheet-print-out, properly with some official university-guide’s assistance. I guess, I was in denial or something that day after they’d told me that I had to give the exams in June instead of December!
Anyone who came to the house (including our maid), kept wondering if I was preparing for civil services because of the madness of it all and of course, the sight of my study table with the 77 + 3 + 12 books, assignments and sample papers, didn’t help either.
From June 1st, the exams started. The first 4 went superbly. I mean that I would ‘pass’. And that’s a lot, I give myself enough credit, considering at the end of it all, I only had 5 days to prepare for each subject (24th April to 25th May having gone down the drain with the already ‘passed’ subjects study…and before anyone gets judgmental here, please- it was all 6yrs ago!! ) 5th exam went horribly, as it was a subject I had seen for the first time, in my entire life. But yesterday, the last (6th) exam finished and went really well, like the first 4.
Right from the moment, I was on the last sentence, I was writing in the exam… I had a really silly broad grin on my face. I couldn’t help it. The invigilator sweetly smiled back whenever our eyes met, but she kept looking like she’s wondering if I’ve gone insane, I’m sure. I walked through the corridors of the examination centre and still was smiling from ear to ear. The other students, invigilators, janitors, security guards…all kept giving me nervous stares. The moment I stepped outside the premises, I called up Riaz and yelled in glee. He told me he was on his way to pick me up and drop me back home- like he’d been doing through the exams. Then I called up my mother and shrieked again and I could hear her jumping herself. All important occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, major prayer ceremonies, marriages, births, deaths, exams, admissions, interviews, appraisals, etc.) are trying for all 5 members in our family, when either of us 5, are involved, that is. We chatted about really unimportant things for a while, just because we felt like it- and it felt awesome. We’d not done this for 2 months. Then Riaz came, I sat in, he drove off, and I started screaming, “I’m free!” I couldn’t help this either. He dropped me home, the maid came and even she kept wondering if I’ve gone mad with all the non-stop studying over the past 2 months. When I told her that my exams were over, she gave me a thousand blessings, as if, I’d given entrance for RAW!
After freshening up, changing, tidying up the house, cooking and getting things ready for the next day (that’s a daily ritual, I cook and then get our clothes and bags ready for the next day every evening), I finally sat and watched TV, while having a nice cold refreshing drink. A friend called, who had known about the exams (I couldn’t tell the rest of them, because 1) I was really freaked out, 2) Didn’t want to risk wasting time getting tied up in playing ‘catch up’), and started giggling. When she asked me what my plans were for the next few days, I didn’t know, I told her and that I only wanted to do nothing. How nice that sounds- doing nothing, for a change. That’s again a lot, with the kind or person I am. Although, only a few people call me hyper-active, but I won’t say that they’re entirely mistaken. I just like to have things done and not piled up. I think this makes life simple, having to do one thing at a time, instead of a hundred, which are pending since ages.
Even though, I still have to write 6 X 3 assignments (3 assignments per subject), I am not worried. Because I’ve just studied all of them SO thoroughly, that wouldn’t be taxing at all. After that, I’d have to go back to the university, submit these assignments, fight for the remaining 5 that they insist that I haven’t submitted but I have submission-slip photo-copies of, re-register for the 5th exam that I did badly in and then, at last, after 8 long years, I’d have my degree in a few months. I can’t wait.

It is interesting how sometimes, in spite of knowing our priorities and their respective urgencies, we keep yearning for the idle hours.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

Indeed, idleness feels SO much better, and much deserved a reward once one has kept one’s promises.

Ponder on…S m i l e

Misleading Media!...

2007-04-22T04:10:00.000+05:30

Gone are the days when most of our population knew the names of the Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chief Ministers, other important Ministers/ personalities/ current affairs or articles of general knowledge (which meant SO much more back then)…Now, most of us can just about list out all the Shah Rukh Khan movie titles/ Salman’s love interest/ Saif’s marital status/ the highlights of Abhishek-Aishwarya wedding apart from a REALLY little more relevant 'news'!! *sheesh*

* Media in India, since the growth of satellite television in our country, has been playing the TRP games- by sensationalizing and creating soap-operas of their stories!...It is ridiculous how someone’s grief is made into a ‘emotional-drama’ by focusing the camera more on the tears, trauma, wounds and screams. While, the popular International news channels would never ever show a gruesome shot of anything (In case of Katrina or 9/11, remember how there were absolutely no corpse/wound-shots? If there HAD to be, the cameras were placed at least 50ft away from the victims, in all international news channels, sites and papers. But our very own Indian media would not even think twice before getting the ‘juiciest’ angle possible. So what, if it gets the viewers sick in the stomach, clinically depressed or even have heart-failures when they sit to get updated with the current affairs from the world around!!), Indian news channels stick to the cut limbs, bruises and tears of a terrorism-victim, for example. If they could, I doubt if they would refrain from telecasting the odours of the dead either!! God knows, to whom the idea of starting the day, having dinner or even ending the day after seeing a human body shredded apart, has any appeal what so ever! For some reason, all this reminds of the certain film-makers from our own country, not very long time back, who used to focus their talent on conveying how poor, malnourished, uneducated, homeless and generally SAD India is. Rings a bell? These so-called movie-makers that concentrated on ‘human-trauma’ as their subject, used to be releasing short-films, documentaries and ‘Art-films’ right-left-and-center, where the entire story would revolve around, for example, on how this REALLY starving-poor-ill-uneducated-and-uncared for-young-woman is trying REALLY hard to wet-nurse her child, who is equally starving-poor-ill-uneducated-and-uncared for!! All those movies/documentaries used to make me feel sick; not because of the somber-images, but because these-very-so-called-REAL-film-makers were trying to make a bunch of money, get a ton of fame along with a bagful of ‘critical-acclaim’, over some wine & cheese party, by screening the misery of the poor… Disgusting!
* When they do not have a news story (which is quite often, given the several numbers of channels/publications, the race for TRP and the 24hrs telecasts), they simply create one…An entire day or even week at time, would get dedicated to how all Ganesha idols are drinking milk in India/ how a miraculous car has been driving on its own on the streets of Delhi/ how it is SO completely unjustified that the private schools in India do not admit any student, unless they get a huge donation in return (Is that really ‘news’ to anyone?! And before anyone thinks that the news channels are doing a great deed by stripping the existing corruption in our education-system, think again. Since the story has been telecasted, the private schools are simply being more cautious now, while taking the ‘donations’ (*lol*). And their 'criteria' has simply become more stringent! I know all this for a fact, because my nephew has been trying to get admission this year)!
* As if all that was not enough, instead of presenting news as it is, the Indian journalist also, goes on passing his/her own judgments along with every single piece…With their how-can-anyone-attempt-such-a-ghastly-act and it-is-a-shameful-crime-that-XYZ-is-charged-with statements after every news of crime, one is not left with much doubt that whoever is charged with the crime /is a suspect must be the actual criminal. I wonder what our honourable judges, analyzing committees or the jury are left to do. Why, the Media passes enough verdicts already!! (Isn’t that why the ‘editorials’ were started; so that the editors could write about anything and give their opinions?!) Ever wondered, that there could sometimes, be a genuinely innocent person who is charged? Or how any such innocents, can ever be set free, when they have already been prosecuted by the media so strongly and openly? Or even if they do get freed, how on earth can they go on and live a normal life after all this, when every single news channel/paper/station has labeled them guilty? *shakes her head*
* While one could STILL ignore the unnecessary melodramas created, complete concoction of irrelevant 'news stories' or the opinions passed along, it is hard to get over the kind of importance the Indian media (name whichever Indian news channel) gives to entertainment (mainly Bollywood), more than Politics/ Science & Technology/ Business/ Sports or any other segment…At least one main headline, during any given week would be, similar to the following:
- Aishwarya sprains her ankle!!
- Vivek gets a plaster after fracturing his leg!
- Laloo has SO many kids!
- Would Abhishek and Aishwarya get married?!
- Arun & Liz’s ceremony to be held in India!
- Rohit Bal to design Liz’s trousseau!
- Richard kisses Shilpa!
- Abhishek weds Aishwarya today!
…To anyone, who thinks I am making any of this up… I am not joking! These are actual headlines quoted and everything written in this article is true to the core.
- But seriously, are the heroes or heroines of the Indian-movie-industry more important than ANYTHING else? Are they really trying to tell us, that apart from the above mentioned (and SO many other Bollywood/Fashion related stories that make the ‘top-headlines’), nothing else happened on that particular day, in our country or anywhere all over the world, which was even a tad bit more important? Were there absolutely zilch number of scientific discoveries/ treaties signed/ Presidential activities/ Prime Minister’s doings/ business developments/ terrorist movements/ court-cases/ anything else that was of any lesser importance than the ‘AbhiWarya (*rolls her eyes*) wedding’?? I mean, REALLY? For Chrissake!!! Shouldn’t all this belong to the ‘Entertainment News Section’, instead of the front page?
- Recently our country lost the next Asian-Games pitch. Reason: The audio-visual created for the pitch, as India- the ideal venue for the next Asian Games, contained all of 'BOLLYWOOD'. Again, I am not joking! There was no mention of the development in Indian in terms infrastructure, economic growth/ business, science or technology. There was no mention of the warmth of Indian hosts. No mention of the picturesque beauty of our nation. No mention of the sportsmanship or even history of sports in India! Go figure!!
* Unfortunately, there have been quite a few rash-driving cases in our country in the past few years- all made news (No. I'm not blaming the media for this)... In all the given cases, sadly, a few rich men got drunk (/ were under some other influence/ rush/ rage) and hit the poor people sleeping/walking the pavements. The ‘media’ went and labeled this as a ‘trend’! Can you believe that? Why would any rich/ middle-class people (whoever can afford to buy/drive a car) intentionally kill or injure ANYONE?? I mean... anyone heard of a thing called LOGIC?! And by the way, during all this, no one- not even a single of any of the news telecasters, questioned the poverty and thus the lack of dwelling facilities in our country. Not even a single ‘NGO’ was caught doing anything for the poor or requesting aide for the under-privileged…you-have-seen-what-has-happened-in-the-recent-cases-so-come-and-please-help-us-so-that-we-can-start-a-drive-against-road-dwelling-and-ensure-that-every-one-of-us-Indians-has-a-safe-house-of-our-own…No one said that. And even if someone did, the common man, would never know. Because all the news channels were solely dedicated to shaking their heads on the ‘rich that drive so rash all the time’!! Ridiculous! The only good out of all this: Traffic rules got reinforced with a new-found zeal. And for sure, the cops on the roads hit the jackpot every time with these incidents, and started pulling people out of their cars at random (for whatever possible charge) in hope to get bribed!! (I have read enough John Grisham’s to understand the importance of an unbiased judge/ jury in any criminal court case... but I guess, no one else in India seems to think of it as any more than a frivolous issue!)
* This time, our countrymen couldn’t even make it to the top-eight at the Cricket World Cup in the Caribbean. And most of the questions posed to the cricketers that played for our country were on the lines of; ‘So, who do you blame for this failure??’ *sheesh* And suddenly, like they do in any other given opportunity, hoards of ‘protestors’ from God-knows-how-many parties and ‘groups’ were caught on TV burning effigies and chanting slogans! Common’ people, it was only a game! Can we relax and treat it, like 'sports' should be treated, instead of getting all violent and radical about it? Besides, everyone knows that most of the people that come one TV and do these silly things (and grin like demented folks, at the sight of a camera), without getting bothered about getting arrested for 'destruction of public-property', are the goons paid for their 50-seconds-of-fame, from some political-party/ goonda (criminal)-group or the other, looking for attention! In the meantime…
- All these cricketers that batted/ bowled or fielded, go on blaming the coach (who was nowhere on the field during the game). The cricketers were calling the shots, as the balls landed/ were thrown, remember? A cricket coach can only possibly plan out their physical-training and chalk-out a few strategies for various game scenarios. But eventually, it is a cricketer that plays. Not the coach! *:*
- The Cricket Board of India, goes on blaming the coach too, while the Board was the one that selected the saddest and OLDEST team possible, with the worst ones 'in shape'- for certain political and corrupt reasons of their own.
- All the past-failures of the Indian Cricket world, came along as ‘gurus (preachers)’ and advocated how ‘Sachin-is-a-flop-show-now’ and how ‘Dravid-is-not-an-ideal-captain’. While these same people couldn’t even play good enough to last a few matches in our ex-teams!
- Everyone has been praising Ganguly for ‘trying-to-save-us’ and ‘getting-us-the-maximum-runs’. And everyone conveniently ignores, how many balls he wasted while gluing himself to the pitch for hours together!
* Then, for fillers between their news bulletins, they also add hourly ‘top-headlines’ (*lol*), a few interviews (which are STILL alright), some genuinely informative shows on home-decoration/cookery/travel (*all praises*) and then some ‘chat-shows’! The only thing is that these so called ‘open discussions’ (a) never leave any conclusions, (b) rarely ever have a panelist who would tell us something we didn’t already know, and (c) seem to fully concentrate on rage and try to be constantly evoking anger from the ‘audience’ or the panelists! (So much for healthy discussions and exchange of information!!)
* Then there is a whole another category of ‘journalists’, called the Critique (Cinema/ Fashion/ Literature/ Drama and such)! These ones, merely sit on their high-horses and pass judgments on whether a certain new product is good or bad; as simple as that- no kidding! In case of a movie-review, for instance, if they utter anything apart from ‘good’, ‘bad’, or ‘okay’ with regards to the movie/ story/ ‘heroes’ & ‘heroines’, at all, they would again, just about barely, give a ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘okay’ tag, for the Cinematography/ Stunts/ Storyline/ Art Direction/ Music of a said film. One thing I’ve always failed to fathom is why on earth does anyone allow them do give out the entire suspense/storyline? Although, apart from groping upon the ‘superstars’ and giving a complete synopsis of the script, I’m yet to come across any truly professional Critique in the Indian market. I’m not exaggerating at all, when I say that rarely any of them has any knowledge of movie-making in any area what so ever. Story-writing/ Script-writing/ Production/ Direction/ Acting/ Cinematography/ Art-Direction/ Stunts/ Music do not even cover half of the aspects in film-making; any first-semester student from a Mass Com school can tell you that.
- Not like it happened for the first time, but a few months back, when I was looking for, which movie to go to, over the weekend, I flipped through the HT City, and as usual, found the their star-ratings for all the movies which were released the previous Friday. One called Eklavya got 2 star rating. For sure, the ‘reviewer’ also gave out the entire story in the ‘review’. This weekend, my husband happened to get the DVD due to his die-hard love for the Senior Bachchan. Enlightening… both, my husband and I liked the movie quite a lot. Thankfully I had forgotten the trivial ‘review’ I had read months back and thus I could enjoy the movie without knowing the ending. Same had happened in case of a movie called Anthony Kaun Hai and another called Khel, years back. I do not watch a lot of Hindi movies because the typical formulas the Dhawan’s, Ghai’s, Chopra’s and Johar’s seem to keep following. And, as it would be apparent by now, I am not so much of an ‘Art’-film-enthusiast either. But I would like to see a movie that appeals to me through the teasers, posters and videos, watch it and form my own opinion, if I want to…instead of losing a nice-simple-sensible-and-non crassy-flick over some loser-critic’s biased wits…or the lack of it!
* Another breed of journalists, is one that basically trails the upper crust, which they adamantly try to call as the 'life-style' genre. Here you would find, more often than not, a star-struck geek of a reporter, with a loud grin plastered of the face, giggling away like silly, stuttering and stammering all the while long- even after years of doing the same job (even the ‘stars’ in our country remain the same people for ages). And like I mentioned already, these segments claim SO much but at last, hardly give out any more information than the same old spiel of Abhi, Aish, Shah Rukh, Saif, Salman, Malaika, Preetie, Rani, Kareena, Mallika, Rakhi Sawant etc etc etc; their latest scandals/ relationship status/ where they were spotted shopping/ where they called hoards of press to cover their charitable deed/ where they had to take a pit-stop to pee and the usual. Sometimes, they take some ‘star’ out for a meal/ drink and do an interview with them which they relay between capsules. Sometimes, their very own Fashion-Police squad starts firing compliments or criticism away, at what a celebrity was caught wearing… How original. These shameless people probably do not know the the original ‘E-News’ has arrived in India quite a few years back- their response; it is only SO much you can do with the stories in any case. We aren’t copying anyone. But yes, we are inspired. Who does look up to the West? *sighes*

I have given up reading the news papers / watching the news for the past ten odd years now. And no, I am not proud of it. If anything newsworthy occurs, I can still hear it from the people around/ see it on the home pages of mail accounts. And then, if I find what I hear, important or interesting enough, I look it up for further details. It’s not what a responsible citizen of an educated society should do, I know that. But I refuse to put myself through the grill- Bollywood star tantrums, terrorism/ robberies/ rapes/ murders being sensationalized or some other such inane story which holds absolutely no importance in my life, thankfully!

I have had this discussion with numerous people during this past decade. And sad as it is, countless number of people still favours the Media during the entire discussion. The following statements are actual quotes that I have remembered from a few of them:
- “So what yaar (buddy)? Entertainment sells much more than Politics/Science or Business in our country.” -->Was 'news' really supposed to be about what SELLS? For some reason, I always thought that it was about ‘information’ and thus ‘education’. And please, the whole demand-and-supply excuse is such a cliché (they-can-only-run-what-the-people-seem-to-want/ it-has-to-be-interesting-enough-news-for-the-common-man-so-the-channels-can-sell-it theory). Every educated and even slightly intelligent person knows that it is all about marketing. People can get interested in / WANT to buy/ believe something if it is endorsed correctly. Don’t forget that the image of the ‘American President’ was CREATED. Pieces of information do not necessarily have to be boring, even without sensationalism!)
- “Maybe to many of us, the Abhishek (the most eligible bachelor) and Aishwarya (Miss World, not even Miss India... Miss World) wedding, is more important than the President bubba!” Why do you have to get all emotional about it? -->This statement is not even worth commenting upon!
- “So what if they give opinions? A lot of people can’t actually see the truth so it has to be spoon-fed to them.” -->Firstly, it is quite know-it-all-like to be thinking that a common Indian citizen is not smart enough to think for his/her own self. Secondly, everyone has a right to their own opinion, but the Indian Media doesn’t leave much space for anyone to be deciding for themselves, whether or not a person is actually guilty, in case of an accusation. Thirdly, these are supposed to be ‘journalists’ and not ‘judges’/ even editorials! If they want to still profess and preach, they can simply stop calling themselves journalists, at least.
- “Common sweetie, the ‘car that kept driving on it’s own’ was quite amusing.” -->Correct; amusing. That’s all that it was perhaps. But it was not ‘breaking news’ material is my point.
- “The Media was completely justified in the ‘rash driving cases’. The common man should know how wrong the deed was.” -->Incorrect. The common man should get to know about the deed (information- facts, only) and then feel for him/her own self. I don’t ever approve of anyone passing judgments unless they are judges/ jury. But still, unless someone is a lawyer, I do not think that it is their (media’s) right to call something the most ‘heinous’ or ‘commendable’ act of the century and then go on trying to carve these images and tags in the audience’s brains. The audience has a right to decide for themselves if they want to, like I have reiterated several times already. Why can’t the media simply relay facts?

There are scores of issues with the Indian media today. Now that the ‘paparazzi-culture has dawned onto the Indian soil, hopefully this all would change in sometime!!…Sort of like a blessing in disguise?!...Wishful thinking?

Whatever happened to ‘journalism’, where 'news' was supposed to stating 'facts'- non-judgmental and non-opinionated!!

Ponder on…S m i l e

Natural Highs!!...

2007-04-18T17:54:00.000+05:30

Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
* Falling in love
* Your first kiss (either the very first or the one with your partner)
* Laughing so hard your face hurts/your start crying
* Giggling
* Laughing at yourself
* Laughing for absolutely no reason at all
* Laughing at an inside joke
* Watching a child laugh
* A hot shower
* A gooooooooood bubble bath
* A long and thorough massage
* Hot towels fresh out of the dryer
* No lines at the supermarket
* Finding everything on your list, and your brands, when you go shopping
* Accidentally discovering a ‘Sale’ at your favourite store
* A tailor stitching the ‘perfect’ dress for you, perfectly
* A special glance
* Making eye contact with a cute/hot stranger
* Having someone tell you that you're beautiful
* Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you
* Getting a nice message/mail/post
* A good conversation
* Midnight phone calls that last for hours
* Hearing your favourite song on the radio
* Your favourite movie being telecasted on the TV
* Taking a drive on a pretty road
* Playing with a new puppy (or your favourite pet)
* Having someone play with your hair
* Holding hands with someone you care about
* Swinging on swings
* Running through sprinklers
* Accidentally finding a book that you have been craving for, since ages
* Managing time to finally finish the book you’ve been trying to finish for ages!
* A good day at the game/sport/activity that you truly love
* Finding a 100 rupee bill in your coat from last winter
* The beach (or the hills/mountains/dessert!)
* Watching a sunrise/sunset
* Lying in bed listening to the rain outside
* Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep
* Sweet dreams
* Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day
* Your favourite dish/meal
* Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry!)
* Hot chocolate and cookies
* Making chocolate chip cookies
* Having your friends send you, some yummy home-made cookies
* Good friends
* Overhearing your parents/siblings/friends discussing with each other, how proud they are, of you
* Making new friends or spending time with old ones
* Road trips with friends
* Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change
* Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you
* Knowing that somebody misses you
* Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply
* Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think
* A genuinely content smile- on your loved one’s face
* Having your partner surprise you, by coming over, on one of those REALLY-romantic-weather-days, and spoiling you silly
* Being loved
Got this, on mail from a sweet friend, some time back. And I smile still, whenever I read it!!

It's been two years, since my husband and I started dating, today. I can't thank the Almighty enough for Riaz- for everything he is and for how he makes me feel. I didn't know I could ever be this happy...S m i l e

Count your blessings!...

2007-03-19T18:41:00.000+05:30

For more than a year now, it seems like I’ve been living in hospitals/clinics.

I’d explain…I got married on 23rd Dec’05.
1) In the following February, my husband had a traffic accident and was on bed rest for a month with a badly swollen left ankle.
2) After a gap of around a month, after that, my husband had caught the flu. Was in bed for a whole week.
3) Around the middle of last year, my husband insisted, that I get my 10-year-old-digestion-problem checked up, as he could no longer see me in the excruciating pains- every time I’d have ‘just-one-more-bite’. We got it checked (the visits, examinations, tests etc itself took like some 5 odd months *phew*) and it turned out that I’d nursed quite a few gallbladder stones ever since college, when I’d shifted to the hostel. I had a surgery in September and got the gallbladder removed, thus. Was on bed rest for three months post that.
4) My husband caught flu again and was on bed rest for a whole week again, around October.
5) He caught Dengue too, when it was in season.
6) Then he had two consecutive kidney stone episodes, first in December and second in January. He was on bed rest for a total of 7weeks with these two. He is one of those REALLY REALLY hardworking kind of people, who don’t ever quit till the work finishes. Being in the event-management-business, where work does not ever finish, and when there are always absolutely insane deadlines, the attitude doesn’t help your health, at all, I insist.
7) My mother, now at 63, has been a diabetes patient for the past 12 odd years. And ironical as it is, she has a sweet tooth. In fact, she’s the only one, who craves for anything sweet, in our entire family. Pretty much, everyone else, can live without desserts/sweet meats, happily. But since the past 5months, her vision deteriorated substantially. We got it checked and found that it was because her sugar levels had reached the retina and had caused damage in that region. Last week, finally she got the damage knocked out with a surgery. She’s on bed rest now at our place for a week. We insisted that she stayed with us because otherwise she would be alone in my parent’s house- as Papa is still working and leaves her alone from 8am to 7pm.

A) Everyone at Max- Panchsheel, Max- Saket and at Centre For Sight-Safdurjung Enclave, knows us.
B) I also remember the names of all the painkillers and common antibiotics. Before the wedding, I didn’t even remember names like Saridon/Meftal Spas/Coldarin.
I am not proud of either A or B.
But, the bright side is that these were all ailments, we had had, for some time. We have finally managed to get them corrected. Thankfully, the illness frequency all last year, has also modified our everyday food and beverage intake... So much so, that we could put any dietician/doctor to shame *:D*
Now, our health is only improving *:)* (touch wood)

We live in very busy times. For some reason, even 20 years back, I never bothered to make friends, unless I was sure I liked someone enough to want to stay in touch with them forever. And it feels fabulous when you can still talk to your childhood playmates like you talked when you were toddlers. The time-pass-random-chit-chat never could lure me, even when everyone else seemed to be hooked onto arbit-chat-rooms everywhere. It goes without saying that, one must always be civilized/courteous to everyone around. But no one asks you, to go out of your way and be nice to someone, when you don’t even like them, and when you rather know that you would probably be making fun of them the next day, and when in all likeliness you know for a fact that you do not want to stay friends with them at all. Basically, I do not have ‘lots-of-friends’. I make friends only with those that I like. And then I try my level best to stay in touch…you get the drift…

Yesterday was my 28th birthday. The night prior, my hubby dearest and me, stayed up till late- talking, fooling around and generally, spending time together. He was the first to wish, naturally.
The next morning, I woke up at 7:30am with my mother-in-law’s phone call.
To cut the long story short, the entire day got spent in taking calls and entertaining people. I didn’t even bother about checking my mails/scraps/messages/off liners/comments (which were 50 in total, when I checked today morning). But everyone wished me yesterday…
* Mamma
* Papa
* Eldest sister, her husband, their daughter
* Elder sister, her husband, their daughter and their son
* Brother-in-law & his girl friend
* Hubby’s cousin from Australia and her husband
* Cousins
* Close friends from school
* Closest friends from college
* Close friends from Jap-Institute
* Close friends from workplaces
* Close friend from the neighbourhood
* Net-pals I’ve had for years
* And even ex-boyfriends…
…Basically, EVERY SINGLE person I’ve ever been close to- called/sms-ed/mailed/scrapped/messaged me and wished me yesterday. And it wasn’t like they ‘happened’ to know that it was my birthday and so they ‘happened’ to wish me.

I’ve never really regarded ‘birthdays’ (my birthdays to the least) or any other ‘days’ (Valentine’s/Father’s/Mother’s/Friend’s/Women’s/any other), as a reason to celebrate. I mean, it’s silly…“I’m a year older today. Let’s celebrate!” or suddenly waking up one morning, checking your calendar, going to your father and saying, “I love you Papa”.
Why, I like to celebrate, love my near and dear ones and stay happy, each and every single day! Have always done so. (now, now…I know, I get super duper excited and grateful on my husband’s birthday. But that’s another topic all together… It’s the day my baby was born for Chrissake!! *:* )

Anyhow…yesterday, lunch was with Riaz, Mamma, Papa, elder-sis and her kids. After they left, I gave Mamma her medication and then Riaz took me out for a nice drive. I was also perpetually on the phone (Riaz’s and my own-in turns), where close friends and family were calling to wish me. Later, some close friends came over and Riaz took us all out for dinner and drinks. We called it a day at 4am.

It was my best birthday, ever. I can’t thank the Lord Almighty enough for:
* Riaz
* All the people (family & friends) that care for me and have been my pillars, ever since

I can’t thank Riaz, my family and my close friends enough either- for being themselves, for coming into my life, for accepting me as I am, and for staying by me. Whatever good there is in me, is because of them.

Thank you God and thank you all my sweethearts…S m i l e

To each, his own!...

2007-03-15T18:34:00.000+05:30

How does one decide what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’?
Only a few years/decades/centuries ago how many things were a taboo, that we all see as ‘common’ today…a woman to go out of her house to work…a woman leaving her parents home, for work or otherwise, before she got married…Brahmins indulging non-vegetarian food or wine…broken marriages…even not paying taxes…children not looking after their parents…pre-marital sex…liberalism…inter-caste marriages…leaving your own village/town/country…job-switching…partying…dancing in public…marrying without the consent of parents…not marrying at all…homosexuality…etc etc.
As we have seen over centuries, what is ‘immoral’ today, may be considered as perfectly ‘moral’ and ‘normal behaviour’ tomorrow.
Then, the aforesaid, reasons out everything that is considered as ‘wrong doing’ at this moment, by someone.
There are factors like ‘what-might-be-right-for-you-may-be-wrong-for-someone-else’. Like…for vegetarians, it is ‘wrong’ to eat non-vegetarian-food, but it is perfectly ok for non-vegetarians…for people/families, which believe it love, only love marriages are okay, unlike arranged marriages (I remember, how disappointed my parents were when they found out that my eldest sister wasn’t seeing anyone when she reached a marriageable age, and therefore, they had to hunt a groom for her! *lol*)…for families where drinking is common, its okay…for people who have relocated, when their children leave town for college/work, its okay…so on and so forth.

As long as you are not hurting anyone, it is okay to do whatever you want to do. But you must be honest- to yourself, more than anything else. If you are absolutely sure that you want to leave home for higher education, it is all right. Also, proper communication with parents/family/close friends- helps. And ‘communication’ does not happen overnight. If they know really you and can see that you genuinely want something as bad s you do, they would all, only support.

If someone hurts you- 1) try to put yourself in their place and mostly, you'd be able to find a reason for why they did, what they did. 2) Try to remember what good they have done for you, instead of what bad time/circumstances are making them do to you right now. 3) Remember, they are only humans. Therefore, they cannot be 'right' at all times. 4) Remember that you are not petty, which is why you should not stoop down to the level of vengeance/hurting. 5) Ignore. Most of the annoyance in this world, does not even deserve your notice because it is so lowly! *:*

You may not agree with someone, when they say or do something. But then you do not have to either. You can have your own opinion, that’s what the most wonderful thing is about living in an independent country. Just do not hurt or be mean.

To each, his own! …Hence proved.

Secrets for a ‘Content Life’:
* Food, Water & Rest; in proper amounts, help you survive. If you forget, Mother Nature reminds you, that you are not a machine!
* Honestly; to yourself, your loved ones and to your duties. And you would marvel at how simple and uncomplicated life is.
* Respect; everyone- even the garbage-collectors/sweepers. No work is small. You can live in clean surroundings only because they clean. Only when you respect all- including yourself, would you be respected.
* Good Manners; are fairly simple. It’s just ensuring that you never do, what you wouldn’t like to be done to you. Be it sneezing/coughing at someone’s face, or not switching your mobile phone to 'silent' mode in public, or not giving enough value to someone else's time/effort.
* Do not speak ill; for anyone. We all- them included, always try to do the best we can- the best of the possible options at the given times. Families, upbringing, people around, backgrounds, education, exposure- they all play a huge role in our personalities- and they vary. You do not know, who may have done how much for you. And then sometimes, in fury, we tend to forget how much they have done for us, even if we know it. You never know who may be listening and if they are strong or weaklings, that get affected by rumours/hearsay. And, you never know, when- what you say may come true. Considering, most times, you do not even mean what you say- that is a scary thing. To all those, who make fun of the Paris Hiltons of the world- stop feeling jealous and spilling your wrath. We all want to be rich, thin, beautiful, popular, success at work, get great freebies...we all want to be able to shop till we drop, we all want to get invited to nice parties that we enjoy, we all want to be asked out by nice people, we all want to get pampered by all etc etc. She must have done REALLY well in her past to have had such great life... 1) Therefore, learn to do well in your current life. 2) The grass is always greener on the other side. Also, 'bitching' may get you some short-lived attention. But it does not speak of very good character for you. And that would not impress anyone. Not the nice/worth-interacting-with people at least.
* Regrets; have none. You did- what you did, because you thought it was the best thing to do- at that time. At another time, you may have done it differently… At another time- you may also have regretted ‘not’ doing it too. Alas! This is not ‘another time’. And then, ‘if only’ is one of the saddest expressions, neh?
* Environment; the kind that we have on this planet, is the only reason there is ‘life’ on our planet. Remember that. And do not make the future suffer. I’m not saying that you should do it for the generations to come. Do it, so you do not pay the price the month after. It gets affected that rapidly, remember that. Give up plastic-bags, aerated-cans, hardcopy-work. Indulge in greenery, regular-car-fuel-checks, car-pooling, energy-conservation. This small an effort on your behalf, may change a hundred lives. Global warming, Ozone layer depletion, land slides, floods...most of it has been because of our taking our resources for granted. Yes, yes. We all know of this, but still we seem to do nothing!!
* Faith; in God/Ancestor’s Souls/Messiahs/Gurus/Son of God/yourself/whoever it is that you believe in. Do your best, and then accept the results of your doings as His appraisal of your effort- If you are honest to yourself, you would only be grateful about the outcome. Always remember that things can only get better. Truly.
* Appreciate; the bigger blessings as well as the small gifts. It’s not everyone in the world, who gets food/shelter/clothing as much as you do. You have education, resources, freedom, wisdom, health, guidance and ‘life’ itself. Be grateful. Do not even take your own life for granted- many envy you from six feet under.

Enough lecture. But true stuff, I insist. Consider this and you would be a proud person- for yourself.
Ponder on…S m i l e

Writing is therapeutic!…

2007-03-12T08:36:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I made a friend read a few of the posts from my blog, almost bullied her into in actually. Poor thing had come to visit us over of regular weekend get-togethers. But I couldn’t wait to share with her*:D*. (Before anyone starts…No, I do not make people in my real life, read me. I swear, I don’t. They all know, that I write and they all have the URL. But I don’t even ask anyone if they’ve read my this article or that. *:* ) Coming back to yesterday’s story…somehow we ended up discussing how ‘writing’ is such a blessing. Later, thinking about our conversation, I went down the memory lane, and remembered how it all had started for me. Probably, it is like, many others, who have started penning down their thoughts. My journey would only be slower *sheesh*! But by the end of this thought process, I was all smiles and ready to write about ‘writing’, my take, as usual. *:D*

As a child, I never really read much or wrote at all (and…No, I am not proud of it. Rather, the contraire!). Could be because the general habit of ‘reading’ or ‘writing’ wasn’t there around our house. Our parents were the truly hard working kinds, who worked from early mornings, to late at nights, ever since I can remember. Besides, our school was some 40kms away from home. So, by the time we reached home, freshened up, finished home assignments, played some, it used to be time to get the dinner ready, by the time, the folks would get back. Weekends used to be over-buried, under the assignments again and there used to be the neighbourhood kids to play ‘catch’ or to ‘cycle’ along with too.
But suddenly, I noticed that my eldest sister (the bookworm, the Hitler of the house and my mentor *:)*) started reading somewhere along. Before anyone could tell how and when she had picked up the habit, she had gotten so thick into it, that she would not even leave the regional language magazines, when she had no better choice, and when she had time after studies/traveling/baby sitting us/taking care of the house in the parent’s absence!
And behold, she gifted a book to me as well on my following birthday. How humbled and hopeful I felt that day, for I saw it as my elder-sister giving me an opportunity. In any case, both of us younger sisters were her forever followers (read ‘tails’).
I started reading with that first book, at around the age of 7/8yrs, hoping that someday it would make me like her, like every other younger sibling aspires, I guess. The book was Johanna Spyri’s ‘Heidi’- while, I must have taken some few months to finish this 2cms thick kiddy-lit. Had to muster up a lot of courage to pick up another book and then the next and so on. The second book that I got to read was Johann Wyss’s ‘The Swiss Family Of Robinson’. Thankfully, I actually enjoyed both of them. Then came along the Charles Dickens’, Mark Twains, Shakespeare’s children’s editions, Louisa M Alcott’s, and the one off’s too-Harold Robbins, Howard Pyle, Robert Louis Stevenson, Lewis Caroll, Susan Coolidge, Enid Blyton, Richmal Crompton and Bernard Masters. Somewhere down the due course, the trend shifted to one offs from Sidney Sheldon, Richard Bach, Eric Segal, Salman Rushdie, Vikram Seth, Upmanyu Chatterjee and Manju Kapur. But my speed remained stagnant, a book or two, per year!
Alongside, with the years, and the changing environments/hormones/lifestyle etc, came an urge to share as well. (Till very recently, I was a rather quiet person. Was chirpy and bubbly during my childhood, like any younger kid is, usually. But I didn’t really have ‘conversations’ with anyone. Probably, because at home I was the ‘kid’- who was taken seriously by none, at school- there was no one I could relate to, and in the neighbourhood- shall I just say that, the ‘rich’ kids didn’t really mingle with us poor ‘middle class’ *grins*…It is all quite amusing now.) And somewhere, I heard of the concept of ‘diaries’ and it just, felt right. For some 4 or 5 yrs hence, I wrote my daily logs religiously.
After school (/High School/Junior College), somehow I stopped writing the diary, and didn’t even realize it. Sadly, the reading had stopped since 9th standard because of the strict study-routines and syllabuses.
But then, in college (Bachelors/University), I came across a girl, who read, at least, one book every day, irrespective of the size, since she was a child (a great influence from boarding schools)! Seeing her reading, reminded me, of how I used to enjoy reading, myself. The habit came back and started the best sellers, handful of M&B’s (I know, I know), and then some. But the speed still remained, pitiable.
Education finished, career began, romance game and went, a few more years passed by and then one day, I found myself noticing a funny pop-ups on my Rediffmail account- ‘Think there is a writer in you? Click here’. I clicked.
September 2003, I started writing again. This time around, it was not the journal, like during the teen ages. Now, I wrote about my thoughts, feelings, and point of views on various topics. And I learnt that I was not ‘writing’, but ‘blogging’.
Within a few weeks, I decided I needed to write too and thus started the ‘Pari Story’- a biographical I wrote on Rediffblogs, 5yrs back (mean to get it published some day, after I finish and edit it). It took from experiences I had come across, through my own life and of those around me. For the first time in my life, I felt a strange sense of lightness about me. As if some huge burdens had been taken off. Later, I also started the online journals and indulged in all sorts of fun available with ‘blogging’.
Few more years passed by, and I am still writing (blogging *rolls her eyes* ). Read too and have improved, as far as the speed is concerned. But still, like my light, easy, fictions- mysteries or thrillers mainly- John Grisham’s, Jeffery Archer’s, Agatha Christie’s, Daniel Steel’s, Dan Brown’s and the likes.

Plenty of people read and write, and like to do so. I do too. Discovered the passion only some 5 odd years ago, like I mentioned, and have been hooked on ever since. But I write just the way I talk, so my writing style is fairly simple and hopefully- understandable *gee*.

Writing really is, a therapy. To be able to vent out all your thoughts or opinions, is in fact the greatest blessing ever, in my view. The ones who can do it- must, I feel, or try at the least. No dearth of the unfortunate ones that cannot express themselves at all. Therefore, the ones who can, should see it as a gift, and thus, not waste it.
Statistics show, that people who do not express/share, are much more prone to emotional / mental unbalances. *:*

Ponder on…S m i l e

Ignorance is not a bliss!…

2007-03-08T15:26:00.000+05:30

How many times we all must have heard this? But still we all have to be okay with the general lack of common sense that persists all around. We all rent out DVDs and enjoy the comedy of errors of genre. We laugh at the silliness of people. But is this all really amusing?
Lets take a moment and analyze the situation.

One of my husband’s colleague is a boy of around 25yrs, who actually doesn’t have much common with my husband apart from the fact that they dope together. And for some reason, I am supposed to be okay with all that. I am not. Neither of them ar in school/college anymore. Not my husband, at least, for sure.
Their usual routine together, when they meet at our place, every other day, is that they roll out joints, smoke up, and watch silly stuff on the TV or DVDs, which gives me a headache. I call them all ‘junkie-flicks’. How else can anyone possibly enjoy foolishness- repetitive and constant! ...A room full of smoke together with daftness, is a combination I wouldn’t ever recommended to anyone!
Anyway, now this guy is a typical lost, silly, irresponsible bloke, who has no idea what is happening pr where his life is heading in general. All he does is that:
* He pretends to be working at an event management company, where he keeps making mistakes, and how!
* He goes out partying like every other day with his kin and gets a backache (he has a bad back). But still he hangs around, in spite of his backache!
* He smokes up. Yes, every single day. And not just one!
* He pretends to be finishing a degree, which he’d started some 4/5yrs back, for which he’d taken a student’s loan. He has been pretending for 2yrs already while being at my husband’s firm.
* He has been telling us that he is applying 'for the US' and that he would be off, real soon *rolls her eyes*
* He is also the same guy that inspired my 'Our National Language(http://sakhiscribbles.blogspot.com/2007/01/our-national-language.html)' and 'Aping West(http://sakhiscribbles.blogspot.com/2007/02/aping-west.html)' posts.
…Yeah. You get the drift...That’s pretty much all that he does. Apart from the above, he’s quite clueless, lost, dumb, lacks concentration and is irresponsible.
…Isn’t it sad, how people like him, get appointed, just because they are from a hefty background or because they can faff and appear to be really promising? Isn’t there a case like him, almost in every firm? And then he manages to not get fired too, time and again. Because he seems so utterly pitiable at the one-on-one’s with the higher-ups! *arghhh*

For the past one week, he has been trying to write a mail. What had happened was that, his performance in this certain event he had gone to Bombay for, went major wrong, because of him. Not that any of this is news. But then this time around, he was asked to write a debrief, on what went wrong, and what he has learnt from those mistakes. Now, our man can’t type or even write for nuts. A sample of his writing skills is given below in double quotes:
* “Unfortunately, Dr. Mashelkar, parked at the main porch, instead of the VIP porch at the Taj-Mahal. After which I went to the main lobby and checked him in. I did apologize again and escorted him to his room and reminded him about the meeting which would start at 10.
* I spoke to the hotel and took the number of airport representative’s number and informed him to personally escort him from within the airport to his car.I also told the representative to give me call as soon as he arrives.
* I was at the chamber while I was informed by the airport representative that Prof C.K.Prahalad had come and is on his way.
* Prof..C K Prahalad was already getting late for the meeting so I had already arranged a express check-in.
* While the Prof.was on his way the time for the meeting was nearing I then went to get Dr.Amit Mitra from his room to escort him to the chambers for the meeting .I asked Dr.what his plans for the day would be for his flight was in the evening and would he be sticking to the same plan.He told he would change his flight time and informed me about a meeting which he had to go for in the afternoon and he wanted me find out ”

If you would notice, from his way of writing, there is a definite lack of knowledge that shows as far as English- the language is concerned. Be it vocabulary or grammar. And then there is an absolute daftness as far as tenses are concerned too. He keeps shifting, suddenly, from past tense, to past perfecto, future, to present. And then he has no idea about how a senior talks to a junior- ‘asks’ and not ‘requests’, when you are writing in first person. Or how a junior should speak to a senior- ‘requests’ and not ‘asks’, similarly. Let me also add, that this is not about his knowledge of English or the lack of it. In fact, he would rather swear that English is his first language. But my point was to try to get across, the lack BASIC communication skill, here.
I mean, can you imagine- a full-grown man writing like that? *hmpff*
For your better understanding, let me try to translate that bit of gibberish. So, here goes nothing:
* Dr. Mashelkar’s car parked at the main porch instead of the VIP parking. But I managed to catch him in time and received him. Then I checked him in from the main lobby itself, escorted him to his room and reminded him that the meeting would start at 10am.
* Prof. Prahlad was to be my next arrival. But as I had to stay at the hotel to ensure Dr. Mashelkar’s smooth check-in, I could not go to the airport to receive the Prof. Therefore, I requested the hotel’s airport-representative to personally receive, then escort the Prof, from arrivals to the hotel in the pick-up-car. I also reminded the gentleman to inform me as soon as Prof. Prahlad arrives in town.
* I was at the Chambers, supervising the set-up, when I received information that Prof. Prahlad was on his way to the hotel.
* As the Prof was already late, I managed an express-check-in for his at the hotel
* While waiting for Prof. Prahlad’s car to reach the hotel, I escorted Dr. Mitra from his room to the Chambers. I also checked with the doctor, at what time he intended to check-out, so that I could arrange his transport accordingly for the Mumbai-Delhi flight. Dr. Mitra told me that he had another meeting scheduled after the meeting at Chambers. Therefore, he would be postponing his flight. He also asked me to find the exact location for his next meeting.

If in case, you are wondering why I put up with this epitome of idiocy, its because this stupid old fool, is a friend of my husband’s, like I mentioned earlier on.

Coming back to the story…I do not know whether it was because of his lack of expression/focus/intelligence/language proficiency or what, but he asked me if I Could write it for him. And thus, I took upon the challenge. But when he tried to dictate, I gave up...as while his story involved some 10 different men, he still went on constantly referring to ALL of them as, ‘him’ /‘that guy’ /‘this dude’...quite got to me. That's how he generally talks too, by the way. So I asked him to type out a rough draft instead, and then mail it to me, in case if I can’t understand anything, I’d call him, I told him. For the next four days he didn’t call. I realized that he was already 4 days late in submitting his post-event-report, so I decided to type out whatever all I already knew. Then I mailed like a one-page document to him and asked him to add whatever I might have missed and then mail it. I told him that he could mail it back to me for corrections if he wanted. Another five days went past.
And then yesterday, he called in urgency, “These guys sounded really angry ya! What to do, they are asking me for the report. I’v not finished it man! I’v been out every single night, for past 10days. My friends from college were in town ya! Please help dude!”
I told him that I couldn’t help. I had already written as much as I could in the version, I mailed to him. Apart from that I didn’t know what happened. Then I asked him to write rough pointers on what happened afterwards, and mail it to me, so that I can finish the letter. It was an hour’s job, in total. “But I am at a meeting in Gurgaon yaa. I don’t have a comp. I cant write”, he said. I told him to relax. Told him to tell his boss that he doesn’t have access to a computer for the next few hours. And later I told him he can go to the office or a cyber café and finish writing the pointers. But like always, he didn’t intend to work yesterday either. So, he suggested that he would come to OUR place instead and write. I told him I had to step out for a few hours. He said, he would go to another friend’s place in that case. When I got back home, I found him sitting on our stairs. I asked him if he had finished. “My friend was out yawwwww”, he said. “Why didn’t you go to a cyber café and finish instead of sitting in my stairs for 3hrs”, I asked him. He didn’t respond any more than shaking his head to that. He does so quite often, when he can’t answer something.
Then I told my husband that I could neither take his dictations, nor could I let him screw my keyboard. So, Riaz volunteered thankfully, said that his friend should type the pointers in continuation to the letter I had written so far, save it and then Riaz could edit and then finish it.
So, our daftness-incarnate, started scribbling. He was at it for FOUR FULL HOURS.
He finished and then told us that he had also told his boss that the mail would be sent tomorrow morning.
Riaz asked him to save his document and shut the laptop.
Today, when both of them tried looking for the document, they couldn’t find it!!! That’s FOUR HOURS OF WORK GONE for our man!!! He only does that much work in a week's time. So, it's like a week's hard work, gone down the drain for him.
Apparently, he had opened the document from the mail, which I had sent to him and then he forgot to save it elsewhere or to save it at all. He kept writing in the mail attachment itself-which naturally, never got saved! *shakes her head at the stupidity* His mother has been working at a MAJOR international software firm for a decade at least, for Chrissake's!

Daftness is not amusing!!

P.S. To all those who are saying, 'Give the poor guy a break!'--> I am an extremely lenient person. But sometimes, like when things just happen to you, you have to react. You are a human being after all. In retrospect, you become much more tolerant. And that's only fair.
Afterthought: He is actually a nice guy. He's loyal, sweet, funny and easy going. And more than anything else, he's my Hubby's friend. My husband, me and him, have been spending a lot of time together- socializing, over the past few months, and he has practically been like family. He was quite a lot of support, during my husband's recent illnesses as well.
But then its only human to get irritated with others, from time to time, I think. When one can get annoyed with something, even one's own parent/sibling/relatives/colleagues etc-said or did, then why can't one get upset with something one's friend did? It's not like one wants to get rid of them.
Come to think of it, I am the kind of person who REALLY can't stand stupidity/uncouthness/dishonesty/bad temper. Secondly, we've known this guy for about a year now. And yet, I've needed to VENT about him only thrice. That's not a bad statistic, I'd say!

Ponder on…S m i l e

Too thin for what?!...

2007-03-06T17:45:00.000+05:30

I have always been one of those unfortunate people, who loose weight even while sneezing!
* Childhood, it used to be only exam-stress- I’d loose wait.
* Flu- I’d catch it and loose wait.
* During college because of the distance, I’d shifted to a flat and then to the hostels on campus- and the change of water, food and general lifestyle, I lost and then gained wait and then lost wait again.
* After that, the work-load and work-stress
* General everyday tensions
...Basically, anything can make me loose wait.
I remember everyone used to keep remarking on how thin I was and how I’d lost wait all the more since the last time they saw me. “You’re too thin”, they’d say and I’d reply, “Too thin for what”, in retaliation!
I actually envy people who are at their ideal weight or even a few kilos above. They don't realize what a blessing they have. And I pity the ones who go miles in order to loose weight. The ones who claim to be having things like eating-disorders, while they live on weight-loss-diets, weight-loss-pills and other such unnatural concepts!

My wait has been on its all-time-low since last September, when I had a surgery to get my gallbladder removed due to stones. The technicians and doctors kept insisting right from our first visit to the last on they were as big as a fist and how many of them and how I could not have known about them for ten years! When I told them I have had pains for ten years now, every time I’d overeat. That I had seen a doctor about it and how without any tests whatsoever the doctor had told me that it was a simple case of Gastroenteritis. That the doctor had given me two options; either to take a certain medicine every day for the rest of my life or to eat several small meals. I’d gladly jumped on the later I told them. They didn’t react to it at all, refusing to acknowledge that another doctor had gone wrong! *arghhhhhh*
My ideal wait, as per my height of course, is 53kgs. It had come down to around 48 since after the surgery. But in the last 3months I lost wait again. This time around, it was my husbands Kidney Stones episodes- two of them. How on earth is a person supposed to see their beloved one in excruciating pain and be okay? He couldn’t sit, stand, lie down, walk, eat or sleep. It was miserable. To see a man of his size (he is 6’2”) and personality (he is the typical easy going, happy-go-lucky someone who has an amazing sense of humour and is forever displaying it too) on the verge of tears due to the hurting. Naturally, I had to stand tall, for him, his mother and my family, so that they all do not get worried. But its not even funny, how many times, I’ve started crying in front of the doctors or his colleagues over the phone or otherwise. God forbid, anyone has to go through that kind of a situation. Ours lasted 2 weeks during the first episode and then for 3 and half during the second. By the end of all this, I weighed 43kg!
I met one of my closest friends from college, whom I’d lost touch with for quite a few years now. Met him this Sunday for dinner. He looked almost scared once his eyes had adjusted to the lighting at our house. Yes, when I look at any of recent pictures, I get disgusted. I look like a skeleton with some skin on it- no exaggeration. Aren’t cameras supposed to add a few kilos?
People keep telling me to eat more and eat healthy. Now, I can assure everyone one on the planet that I probably have the healthiest of all eating-habits. Since post college (due to the gallbladder stones) I had gotten into eating at least 5 small meals a day, which would include a heavy breakfast, fruits, proper lunch, high tea, soup/juice and then finally a light diner.
People keep telling me to eat fattening things. The only problem is just that the doctors have asked to avoid fatty, spicy and sweet things as much as possible.
People keep telling me to turn non-vegetarian. Now, even if I did, the doctors told me that I couldn’t have had eggs, red meat or seafood. Then what’s the point, right?
Now, I am doing the best I can. Eating healthy, resting properly, trying to stay off tensions as much as possible. Besides, women in my family have always had a tendency to gain weight only during pregnancy and then they stay that way. So, I look forward to my time to come with glee!
It would all get better. I know that. Sometimes though, when people keep pointing out, it gets to you! But like the saying goes, things can only get better.
It would be nice if we could all just aspire to be healthy and happy instead of 'skinny' and 'rich' *wry smile*. Ponder on!...S m i l e

My lifeline!...

2007-03-05T02:34:00.000+05:30

Riaz Boman Sheryari. My 'perfect man'.
He's caring, concerned, loving, devoted, warm, supportive, tolerant, protective, loyal, sensitive, mature, trustworthy, chivalrous, humorous, tall, has a baritone voice, is handsome, moral, liberal, modern, easy-going, sweet, friendly, talented, creative, hard working, efficient, every man's man, every woman's man and the best human being I've ever come across (- in no particular order). I can tell him or talk about anything under the sun, to him. And he tells me everything too, sooner or later (- he's not really one of the vocal types). Anyone who meets him gets enamored. Anyone who gets to know him falls in love with him.
But behold, he is human after all. So, he has flaws too. He starts feeling guilty, every time I get upset over some random thing, which might not even have anything to do with him *rolls her eyes*. And then of course, he has a habit of doing all the work on his own at work, instead of delegating it to the teams. And yes, he has a short temper, which doesn't take traffic (- of all kinds), daftness or flirting, too well. He curses quite a lot, irrespective of his mood. And he tends to keep forgetting that he is a human after all and needs to eat, have water and rest properly- again, while being at work! *:*
But he is a wonderful person. And am I glad, HE IS MINE!
My life took an absolute u-turn and gained enormous amount of stability, contentment and happiness the day he proposed to me. I've never been happier or more satisfied. *singing 'I Finally Found Someone'-OST Mirror Has Two Faces*. We've known each other for 2yrs now and have been married for more than 1. The compatibility, understanding, comfort level and above all, love between us, has only grown. Now, even if I don't do anything/sit jobless, I don't feel lost/unhappy/unsatisfied at all, like I used to earlier on. My life revolves around him now and how! The only time I feel disoriented since the past couple of years, is when he's out of town or working late. (Yes, yes, before anyone else points out, I know I am obsessed with him. I told him so too- long back! *:*) I can't imagine a life without him anymore (...hey...wait a minute...I don't need to either) *:P*.
Even though, we did our bachelor's from the same university, we never met there. We even knew people in common. And in spite of it, having been a small residential campus! And then, as luck would have it, some 5yrs later, we became colleagues. Amazing, isn't it? We met each other for the first time there, when neither of us were ‘looking’ *grin*, came to know one other gradually, worked together too, started dating and then it didn't take us even three months to know that we were soul mates! *:D*. Destiny! Yes, we were made for each other, as the cliché goes. For the past two years, 'I just don't know what to do, with myself' from OST My Best Friend's Wedding has been my anthem *:D*!!
He's always, genuinely ok with anything, as long as it suits me. And even he is as devoted & doted to me. When I tell you that he loves me more than I love him, you can imagine the extent. He never stops me from doing/saying/ wearing anything, unless he genuinely feels that it's making me seem silly...all he needs to know is that I am happy and enjoying myself and he seems to be on the seventh sky. He doesn't like me tiring myself either. Whether its working in gneral or cleaning around the house, dishes, laundry, cooking, sorting things, tidying up, organizing the shelves/cupboards etc etc. He wants me to be perpetually resting, relaxed, enjoying myself, healthy and happy. When he fusses over any work I do, at that time, of course, it irritates me a bit. But in retrospect, I've always been mighty touched! He even turned vegetarian at home for me. For more than a year now, he only eats non-veg when we're out and then he immediately brushes his teeth once we reach home, before he would kiss me *gee*. He's too sweet. His life revolves around me as well. I am the best of myself, than I've ever been, around him. He manages to constantly make me feel amazing. He completes me. And I keep getting amazed at how I landed such a goodie *gushing*!
Thank you Lord Almighty to have gifted me with this blessing. I am grateful and would always be. All the struggles/hardships/pains were worth it, I know now. I wouldn’t trade any of it, at all. Because I wouldn't have been where I am otherwise. And ‘where’ I reached in the due course, is ‘how’ I stumbled upon my Jaanu. I have never felt more at peace or at home in my entire life before we got together.
All I want now, is my baby, by my side-healthy, happy and comfortable-and I am alive!! Thank you God, once again. And thank you Jaanu, for coming into my life...S m i l e

Life is too precious to be wasted in worries!...

2007-03-03T13:09:00.000+05:30

Most of the people, that know me, never seem to comprehend my sense of humour. Even my horoscope says that it would be very easy for anyone to misunderstand me- the reason why I talk/write in volumes too...repeating things, while at it, to ensure that in word or another, people get my message.
I have also known dozens of people who fail to understand, how and why I start liking people so easily and quickly at that.
And then, it takes a huge lot of things to actually make me upset or tense. I really haven’t ever got upset with just one thing, which is annoying. Money matters, especially when I owe it (read ‘bills’)! Other than that it takes at least more than six things, going wrong- all at the same time, to get me irritated.

Oodles of other things as well, I've never been able to relate to… drugs, other addictions, murders, theft/piracy/cheating, and lies, amongst many more. The list is really endless.
Then there is, ‘why, when we have life, strength (physical, mental or emotional), opportunities, food, clothing, shelter, people who care about us and SO MUCH MORE, are people still unsatisfied’? Why do we tend to get upset at the pettiest of things, most times, and waste the valuable moments that pass by? Why do we look at what we ‘don’t have’ and crib/sulk over it, instead of being genuinely grateful for what we ‘do have’? How can we thank the Almighty enough, for the small mercies and all that He has blessed us with?

But the biggest of them all, my incomprehensions, is why anyone fights? Why are we violent? What do we get out of screaming, by calling people names or even worse- by hurting anyone? Isn’t the only way, to make others see our point of view, to reason with them? Only humans keep inventing new techniques and technology to kill their own kind. And then they look for upgrades! Even animals, are so much better than us- the worst they would do to any our life, is that they would tear the other apart, to kill it. Whereas humans, go a gazillion steps beyond- it all started with the tools of course, then the weapons became much more ‘sophisticated’ over centuries, then we used poisons, we made guns, bombs, atomic weapons, nuclear arms and what not! Humans are the only species that have ‘wars’ and at what scales! Humans are also the only ones that play mind games to cause damage to their own kin. Humans again, are the only that are constantly devising newer, faster and sly-er means of killings too. Humans are the most intelligent, yes. But we are also the most dangerous. Who can be proud of the wars, invasions, World Wars, terrorism, riots, bomb-blasts, robberies, murders, kidnappings, highjacks, rapes, mass killings, abuses and all the other grotesque cruelties that we- people, from amongst us, practice and preach? Then our follies create bigger disasters sometimes, as even Mother Nature, does not approve of them. Global Warming, Ozone Layer Deterioration, Tsunami, fires, storms, floods, draughts, landslides, avalanches…aren’t there enough disasters already to worry us? But no, still, we go on...creating more...deadlier...quicker...cleverer! Humans = sadists!

Have been striving to get the answers since forever...some day...some day I shall...I hope!
Ponder on…S m i l e

Till death do us apart!...

2007-02-28T11:37:00.000+05:30

A friend had once asked me, “How does one know if one has found Mr./ Ms. Right? How do I decide that this is the person I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with?!”…I’d told her the following. All of it, I believe in, without any doubts. Based on my personal experiences.

When it comes to choosing a life partner, for someone in today’s times, we can consider the points below (note; its not 50yrs back...Or even about someone from our parent’s generation. Those days the entire purpose of 'mate' was to grow family. A couple didn't interact much otherwise...but not any more)
I think it is important, when we are deciding on a life long commitment, that we keep the following in mind… having said that, I'm not at all suggesting that we turn all strategic / manipulative / calculative about the entire thing. That does not work...Calculations work when we’re thinking career / investments etc…not relationships.
- It all definitely starts from ATTRACTION...that's got to be there...one has got to notice the person first
- Another crucial element is RESPECT. Unless the two people respect each other as individuals/ respect each others thoughts/ their life style/ even professions, it can not work in the long run
- But be sure that it is should not just be an INFACTUATION… or a case of 'like-to-spend-time-with-them-for-now-lets-see-how-it-goes'...or 'like-him-for-right-now-at-least', when you are getting into a lifelong commitment...Make sure that you like the person and they like you, and that you would continue to like each other for an entire lifetime
- It’s important that the two feel COMFORTABLE with each other
- It’s important that the two feel SECURE / safe with each other
- It’s important that the two like / love the each other enough, to be able to WANT TO GIVE to each other, for the rest of their life. Ensure that you are willing to do anything to bring a smile to the other’s face.
- It’s important that there's CHEMISTRY between the two
- It’s important the two understand each other...Its all about UNDERSTANDING...which is also interpreted as 'adjustments' / 'compromises' sometimes, but I think that’s not a positive approach. When you love someone enough, you do want to do anything to please them. I know I feel that way
- When two people start living with each other...they must come to an understanding on how they could make sure that either’s lives / life styles get disturbed too much... The phase should be a gradual TRANSITION and each should do their best to make it easy for the other
- The two must understand and respect each other's DREAMS/ future plans and support each other in the efforts to realize those dreams
- It is also two FAMILIES becoming one...so liking/ peace/ consent from all ends is important...you be one with his family and he becomes one when he is with your family…harmony, understanding, respect
- The above goes for each other's FRIENDS as well
- It’s important that the two give each other SPACE...breathing space/ individual freedom…and trust one another
- Healthy rapport/ FRIENDSHIP is the ideal way a life long relationship could begin
- It’s important that the two can talk to each other…conversation…COMMUNICATION. That is what could be missed the most in a relationship, once you are over the initial excitement and butterflies. And that is all that would remain in the later years
- It’s important that the two have FUN in each other’s company…the two should enjoy being with each other
- If he/she can make you LAUGH...it's a sheer bonus
- It’s important that the two SUPPORT each other through hardships...it should be 'us' at all times and not 'me' and 'you'...But then again, support comes naturally once 'understanding' and 'friendship' are covered
- If you have all the above covered...even 50%…SEX would have to be amazing...because, sex is all about 'comfort'/ 'fun'/ 'understanding'/ ‘pleasing one another’...If there are still issues, they can be talked about...‘conversation’/ ‘communication’ comes to your rescue
- MONEY shouldn't ever be a criterion… it comes and goes-trust me. You can always make it together...Two people can realize any and all their dreams, if they stick together and make a joint effort…Plan their future together. The future belongs to them, who plan to be together. Its not 'you' and 'me' anymore... It’s 'us'. It’s all about support and being by one another's side.

Ponder on…S m i l e

You know that in all tombs there is always a false door?…

2007-02-22T19:10:00.000+05:30

“Well, people are like that too. They create a false door- to deceive. If they are conscious of weakness, of inefficiency, they make an imposing door of self-assertion, of bluster, of overwhelming authority- and, after a time, they get to believe in it themselves. They think, and everybody thinks, that they are like that. But behind that door, Renisenb, is bare rock… and so when reality comes and touches them with the feather of truth- their true self reasserts itself. For Kait gentleness and submission brought her all she desired- a husband and children. Stupidity made life easier for her- but when reality in the form of danger threatened, her true nature appeared. She did not change, Renisenb- that strength and ruthlessness were always there.”
This was an extract, where Hori and Renisenb are in conversation after a tragedy in the family, from Agatha Christie’s ‘Death Comes As The End’; a serial killer mystery laid in ancient Egypt 4000 years ago. A marvelous read.

The words made me reflect, like usually anything one reads, affects them. And after a little contemplation, I discovered that this holds true for myself at least.

If asked, anyone that knows me even a little, would perhaps have only one thing to say about me; that I am a very ‘organized’ person. Which is true. I keep all of our things in order. And I do all my organizing very promptly too. Whenever I visit my parent’s, sister’s or close friends I go and organize their shelves as well. I am the kind of person who labels and puts an index on everything. Be it our documents, files, contact-details, tools, medicines, music, movies, photographs, books, souvenirs, linen, clothes, dishes, cutlery, seasoning, vegetables, groceries, things that we no longer use, things we use rarely or even the common junk.
Whenever anyone has asked me why I go on so meticulously making sure that everything is as it is supposed to be, my answer is simple, “So, we can find it, in time- when we need it, without much effort.” In reality, that is just a nicer way of saying that honestly, I am an extremely lazy person. My only motivation, for doing all this, has always been that if I arrange things properly and in their place and after I have done so, I can rest. Then when we need, lets say a certain book, I would know exactly where it is. This saves all the effort of hunting something at the last minute. Besides, when one is under pressure or in a rush, it is a common known fact, that our minds cannot function as they would normally do and thus we tend to get a little disoriented.

Once I had established the above, while reading my Agatha Christie, I found the thought really amusing and that made me brood a little more.
* In ‘Death Comes As The End’, all the characters are pretending to be something they are not. Sobek, for example, is the ruthless and haughty character. Who, in reality, is a coward, feeble and dim-witted man.
* Imagine, how true this is. Someone you might know, who perpetually pretends to have too much on their mind or with a good deal of work to do, because of which they barely manage any time to breathe, are usually the ones that are the most worthless people, that do not really mean to do any work at all.
* Or, someone who keeps telling you how concerned they are for you, that they are your only well-wishers, as if their singular job in the whole wide world was to worry about you and your well-being, are the very people, who do not genuinely care about you at all. They indulge us in all this flattery, so they use us.
* We all know about the boasting kinds. And we all also know that people who boast and the biggest cowards and the most incapable kind of people.
* People who keep asking if they could do this or that, instead of going ahead and doing ‘this’ or ‘that’. If you truly mean to do something that you think I need, then go ahead and do it. Why the pretence?
* And then, of course, the lovers and their ways to get the attention of the beloveds. The most clichéd tactic has forever been the ‘make-thou-beloved-jealous-and-thy-shalt-realize-thou-importance’.

Examples are far too many and all about. But is this not an extremely interesting thought? Such are the ways of a human mind.
Ponder on…S m i l e

Customs!...

2007-02-21T18:18:00.000+05:30

My husband had a kidney stone problem about 3 months back.
The very first day, he felt like he passed something in his urine. He couldn’t tell what though. There was not blood or anything else that he could see. Then about two days after that, his entire lower abdominal region got swollen and got filled with puss. He was in excruciating pain as well. Because of the pain, he couldn’t sit, stand or lie down. Naturally, he couldn’t walk, sleep, talk and eat either. I was constantly on his bed side, tending to him, trying to keep it a quite as possible, so that he could rest as much as possible.
At first, the doctors couldn’t tell what it was exactly. And then after a zillion examinations, blood & urine tests, ultrasounds and ct-scans, they finally ‘guessed’ that it must have been an aftermath of kidney stones. They told us, what my husband had passed in his urine, must have been stones from the right-kidney. And this was an infection that a lot of kidney stone patients get afterwards.
And hence started a series of painkillers and antibiotics along with a 2week long bed rest. After the two weeks, my husband felt much better, the swelling seemed to have gone and thus he joined work again. Though, the doctors told us that according to the ultrasounds, there still were some stones left in his left-kidney but that we need not bother with them, unless they give us any trouble. But they insisted that my husband should drink a lot of water and avoid anything too fried or too sweet in terms of food.
My husband is an event-manager with one of the best event-management-agencies in our country. His is a really stressful job that requires a lot of time, patience and presence-of-mind. He is also required to travel on work quite frequently for his accounts. On top of all this, his is one of those typical jobs, where everything is top-priority and one feels really grateful if one gets an opportunity to eat at all, forget about the ‘eating-healthy’ or ‘eating-on-time’ concepts. I know all this as well as I do, because I was in the same profession for 3yrs before we got married. In fact, that’s how we met. We worked in the same organization.
After the two weeks of bed rest, he went back to work and to the aggressive routines (or the lack of it). He happened to have 3 out-station events as well in the same period.
Two weeks of office, meetings, lack-of-healthy-food-&-rest, events and travel, and finally, the left kidney stones gave away.
With the relapse of infection, my husband was on bed rest for more than a month this time around. And again started the visits to hospitals, examinations, tests, medication, pain and the general depression that goes along with any illness. This time around, the infection was worse than the time before, the doctors told us.
When we asked the doctors, why this happened to my husband and why it relapsed within a month they old us the following:
Kidney or any other stones are hereditary. If it is in your family for the past three generations, you can get it too. All it takes is your body to be at a vulnerable state. As in, when you push it to the extreme limits by lack of proper diet o rest.
Anyway, my husband joined work again last Tuesday and thankfully, he has been paying proper attention to his diet and rest requirements, off late.

Now the post was about ‘customs’ so I’d get it, now that I have built the background…
My husband and I were supposed to attend my cousin’s wedding in Surat (Gujrat), on the 20th of Feb’07. The wedding was a 3 day ceremony; 18th night was the Garba (Gujratis do Garba for any kind of celebration. Be it for the ‘victory of good over evil before Dussehra or birth or marriage), 19th morning, was the Grihshantak (all Hindu weddings pray to the lord Ganesha before any big event; shifting into a new house, buying a new car, new office place, birth or marriage) and the Wedding itself was on 20th morning (all Gujrati weddings are daytime weddings). We also planned to go and visit my eldest sister in Ahmedabad the day after the wedding. More so, as she has not been keeping well off late.
So, we had booked the train-tickets well in advance (40days prior to the date of departure). We decided that we would not attend the Garba to ensure that we need to take the least number of leaves from office. My husband applied for the 3day’s leave at work. We had arranged the gift, which we wanted to give to the newly-weds. We had even decided what we’d wear on each day during the trip.

Last week, once my husband got off the bed rest, we checked with the doctors if he should travel (by train at that). The doctors suggested that he should take it easy. Besides that, because my husband had recently been away for more than a month from office, his boss requested that he doesn’t take the 3day’s leave.

I really wanted to attend my cousin’s wedding because this was to be the last wedding in our generation from my mother’s side (the side we are closer to). Everyone was going to be there. As my husband hasn’t met my entire extended family, this could have been an ideal opportunity. Otherwise we would have had to make at least a 10day long trip to Gujrat to be able to visit all my two uncles, three aunts and their children (all married). Besides, my grandmother is 95yrs old and her doctors have been telling us that she may not live long. I really wanted my husband to meet her more than anything else. Even my husband genuinely wanted to make this trip.
But because both the doctors and the boss had declined we could not go. That was that. I was sad. But his health is my top-most-priority.

My mother had gone to Ahmedabad first for a week, to visit my eldest-sister and spend time with her and then to Surat for 2days for the wedding, where my father joined her directly from Delhi. He could not take those many holidays as he is still working, unlike my mother who retired a few years back.
My elder-sister could not go to either Ahmedabad or Surat as well because of a different kind of emergency at her in-laws side (her sister-in-law’s father-in-law had met with an accident and her sister-in-law’s family is quite incapable, my elder-sister and her husband had to take care of all the hospital arrangements etc).
My elder-sister and her husband are compulsive liars and are the least reliable people in my family. Its not like they are not doing well financially. They own their own house, cars and always have all the latest gadgets. For example, (1) if you have invited them over, and they are late, they would tell you that they are only 5 minutes away from your house, when they might have just left their own house (which is an hour’s distance from my house). (2) If they were supposed to send something to you, they would keep telling you that they’ve already sent it while the article itself would have been lying at their desk for days. And then at the 11th hour, my brother-in-law would courier it and it would reach us, like 10days after we had actually required it. (3) Neither of them have any of their documents in place Be it, school/college certificates, birth-certificate, driving license, PAN card or anything else. My brother-in-law bribed his way to get the passport he has. (4) Neither of them pay any taxes. (5) Neither of them own any credit cards. Once my bother-in-law had all the credit cards available in the Indian market. But because he used his entire cash limit and didn’t pay any of the bills, he has been black-listed since. (6) Their cell phone numbers keep changing every 6months because they spend their entire cash limit and then don’t pay the bills. Once their incoming-calls also get barred, they dispose the old numbers and then pick up a new one.
Naturally, my eldest-sister as well as my mother were both upset because neither me nor my elder-sister went to visit her. My eldest-sister (married to a chartered-accountant, mother of a 11yrs old girl, 35yrs old herself and a scientist), in any case has always been the cranky-cribbing and unhappy kinds. She had big dreams, which according to her, she had to give up for a mediocre life, when she got married.

We heard from the doctors and the boss on the 15th. I called my mother and told her this. I did not have the courage to face my eldest-sister’s wrath, so didn’t call her. My elder-sister came to know that she could not go either on the 16th (she was supposed to fly on the 16th, Delhi-Ahmedabad and then Ahmedabad-Surat on 19th and then Surat-Delhi tickets were for the 20th evening). She called our mother as well as my eldest-sister’s-husband and told them. She didn’t dare to speak to my eldest-sister either.
My parents came back from their trip today and I spoke to my mother at noon, once she had reached home. She was upset.
She said, “The wedding went fabulously, though everyone missed you there. They were all looking forward to meeting you after such a long time and to seeing your husband for the first time (ours had been a very simple wedding and we could not invite all our family there. Even my husband’s brother, my eldest-sister’s husband, her daughter, my elder-sister’s children could not make it to the wedding as it was on a very short notice). Your eldest-sister and her daughter were both in tears as well, because they had really been looking forward to your visit. All your uncles and aunts gave me your wedding gifts. I would give them to you the next time we meet. But remember, that all of your uncles, aunts and their children along with their families had been eager to come to you wedding. They couldn’t, only because we didn’t invite them. And remember that your uncle and his wife had come to your elder-sister’s wedding, in spite of the short notice. And you had not attended your last cousin’s wedding either 2yrs back, because you couldn’t get a holiday at that time. It is all right though. You shouldn’t bother. After daughters get married, they have to give priority to their own families. But they shouldn’t forget their parent’s relations or their own siblings either. It takes a wise woman to find a balance between husband’s and her own family. We all notice everything; who visited us how many times, who came to our functions, who gifted us what, who says something nice to us and everything else. Remember that customs are important. People notice. Do not take relations for granted. These are the people who would help you in your hour of need. Yours was still a valid reason but your elder sister always lies. I am sure she hadn’t booked her tickets and that she had been lying all along. Probably, she wanted to visit your eldest-sister, probably she didn’t. But she is lazy like always and she lies about it. She didn’t book her tickets. We knew it all along that she would not go to Gujrat this time.”

I didn’t say anything to my mother. I just kept trying to suggest that probably my elder-sister had some genuine problem. It can always be a sudden financial problem if nothing else. After all, they are both into business unlike us service-class people. My mother didn’t respond agreeably to that either. For the rest of the conversation, I just kept agreeing with my mother, as I didn’t want to upset her.
Though, my real response is irritation and annoyance. Why does all this count; who said what, who visited you how many times, who came to whose functions, who gifted whom what…? Why cant people, who are supposed to be their for us in our ‘hour-of-need’, understand something as simple as illness or other kind of emergencies. Even if my elder sister was lying, even if she and her husband are the biggest liars in the world, how can my mother and my eldest-sister think that she didn’t really mean to visit my eldest-sister. We are a very close-knit family and we all know that. Why can’t family at least, try to understand? Why can't people give at least their loved ones the benefit of doubt? If people who are, supposedly, our well wishers, are so stuck-up, them whom else do we need to complicate our lives. As if there isn’t enough to try to simply otherwise.
So much for 'customs', don't you think?
Ponder on…S m i l e

Aping West!...

2007-02-16T19:27:00.000+05:30

The whole world has been taken in by this storm for over decades now. It could be blamed on colonialism for the initiation. But wouldn’t that just be an easy way out?
The foreign cultures that came into our world with colonialism were only a side effect of the exploitation done by these foreigners in history. While the latter was a negative, incoming of a foreign culture should have only helped our cause of ‘exposure’ and ‘growth’. With the exchange of different cultures, languages, fashion, lifestyle, business, education, sports, entertainment and what not gets affected. Some for the better. Some for the worse.
Sadly, somewhere down the line, someone taught everyone else that the new/powerful is always better. And guess what, everyone started following the new or more so, the ‘powerful’. Years later, most of the colonies got freed, but the ‘following’ still continued.
India has always boasted about its sponge like character which soaks up the best from everywhere, while keeping its basics intact. Probably this is the reason why Indian culture is the one being aped for sometime now.
The ‘West’ or the US, to be more specific, is the supposed ‘powerful’ in today’s day and age. Lakhs and lakhs of Indians every year, make their best efforts and buy their way to get the ‘visa’. Sometimes these are singles, sometimes families and sometimes even the entire extended families. Even a lot of the kids aim to get settled ’abroad’ when they grow up.
Recently, I came across another such case. A young executive, who is striving to manage his daily bread and butter but barely managing. His childhood ambition it seems, had always been ‘to-go-to-the-US’.
Now, this is one of a thousand such cases as we all keep bumping into our daily routine lives. The kind of people that may have spent their entire lives in any of the Indian metropolitan cities. But they pretend not to know Hindi (/their mother tongue) very well. Some of these cases have the ‘acquired-accents’ as well. Most times it would not even be American. They have major issues against Indian clothing. They ignore their parent’s calls (forget about spending time with their parents or having any ‘family time’ altogether). They are usually into marjuana at least, if not any of the other lethal drugs. This species also lives on the ‘there’s-nothing-wrong-with-at-least-one-drink-a-day’ philosophy. They are the kinds that always choose Italian/Mexican/Continental/Chinese or any other cuisine over Indian. These kinds usually don’t have strong feelings of liking for their siblings either. Relatives therefore, are out of question. They obviously do not watch Hindi movies. They do not listen to Hindi music/read Indian books either unless it comes from artists of their kin (read artists who are also aping-West). Their rooms are always a ‘mess’ and they seem almost proud to even call it so. These people swear a lot as well and most of it is the ‘F’ word (to people who are not used to this entire cursing culture and who do not understand the meanings, it could seem that the ‘F’ word is their lover’s name or something). Sometimes, they also come up with their own jargon ‘lingo’, most of which would be from American movies and television (no matter how old or new the movie or TV show may be). Women kind of this species for some reason seem to think that the ‘dumb-blonde-theme’ (in their clothing, body-language, mannerisms and lifestyle in general) would get them respect from the rest of the world.
Whatever happened to our own intelligence and judgments!
The other day, my husband and I were watching a Robbie Williams movie called ‘RV’. The movie is a story of an average American family that take a weekend trip together. I couldn’t help but wonder why so many Indians want to go there especially so after watching it?
To become a second-citizen/minority somewhere and fleeing from home. To a place where if you can manage to stay married for a decade the locals would look at you as if you were the first person that walked on the Moon. The place where your kids would have had sex, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs by the time they pass school. A place where life is so screwed up that you keep wondering ‘what-the-soul-purpose-of-life-is’ and ‘where-you-are-going’ MUCH more often that you would normally. A place where almost EVERYONE needs to see a psychologist at least once a week. A place which is not yours. A place oceans away from home. A place where your children would grow up and either turn into big brats, bullies, geeks, beauty-obsessed, power-obsessed, drug-addicts, alcohol-addicts, sex-addicts, racists, criminals, lack confidence or be in constant depression, if they don’t have any other psychological disorders or if they don’t end up in SOME cult or the other.
There is a concept called Nationalism. No, not the radical or the aggressive one. It is a nice concept. And it is wonderful to be home.
Ponder on…S m i l e

Delhi vs Bombay!...

2007-02-12T07:00:00.000+05:30

Much has been said for and against both cities. Here is my bit…
This is not about which is better. It's an honest opinion, from a Delhite’s point-of-view. I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s sentiments with this. All I am sharing are my own experiences here.

1) The best part about Bombay, for any woman who is born and brought up in Delhi, or for any man who has seen women in his family and friend circles while he was growing up, would undoubtedly have to be the ‘sense of security’. We Delhite women have grown up making sure that we always stay within kin (never talk to strangers!), cover ourselves up as per the place we are going to as well as the place would be going through, not to be out alone post dark, stay on a constant alert while we are out etc. All this changes in the Bombay context. Firstly I have felt the same sense of security in all my visits to Gujarat and Maharashtra. I guess the lack of gunda / babu / lala / bhaiya crowds must help. One cannot overlook the over powering influence of Bollywood either. With all the wannabe-actresses around, who’d give a second glance to an average Joe right? Besides, come sundown and this city gets lit with floodlights, even in the forgotten alleys. Whether the area in question is a busy road, business/ industrial/ residential area. Whichever the reasons may be, it works or us women, excellently, to say the least.
2) From the sense of surety comes the freedom of expression. One of which is ‘clothing’. Unlike Delhi, women can walk around in micro-mini-skirts / shorts on the Bombay roads without experiencing any of the grotesque feelings they would have to bear in Delhi. Men on the roads in Delhi, look at woman like vultures ogle at their preys. Irrespective of the time, place, number of people around. Irrespective of the woman’s body-type, outfits, length of the hair, hair-style, hair-colour, height, size, shoes, age, colour, complexion or anything else. That is all a myth, anyway. But in Bombay, again unless a woman is actually a superstar or a drop-dead-gorgeous-Helen-of-Troy material, she’s should not expect a second glance. Which makes life so much simpler for women who are tired of jeans / trousers / Anokhi skirts / salwaar-kameezes. Just as long as she is dressed appropriately for her destination, which is a universal rule in any case.
3) Delhites, who have the ‘bargaining-before-catching-an-auto’ habit, can take a deep breath at this junction. As this is going to make them cry of joy and hope…Come to Bombay and forget all your worries when it comes to taking ‘auto-rickshaws’. Forget what distances you need to travel in Bombay. Forget what the hour may be. Forget which direction the Auto you spotted was going in, originally. Forget all and just hail. And wait till you catch one at night. Once you sit, you'd wonder if you've gotten to a disc or something...The snazzy lights, decorations, gadgets and the music systems! It is as simple as that. Again ,this seems a common feature in the entire Western-India.
4) I was 25 when I relocated to Bombay for a very brief stint. Reason why I moved to Bombay, being my boy friend of that time, who stayed and studied in Bombay. By then I had already been working for more than 5yrs. And somehow all my jobs till then had been extremely time-consuming ones, because of the distance from home to work / amount of work. So earlier in Delhi, one would get back home from work around 8 / 9pm, freshen up, have dinner, do your daily chores and then call it a night. It was only on weekends that we would go out or socialize. As my job was that of an event-manager in Bombay, I expected the ‘lifestyle’ to stay the same. As I was in a relationship for the first 4 months of my stay in Bombay, it didn’t change much for me, with the boy friend to see every evening after work. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out on the relationship-front. Another month down the line, I found myself experiencing the real Bombay, as a lot of my friends referred to it, back then. After work, every single day, one would either end up going to the beach to chill with friends/ sitting by a coffee-shop / going to the movies / going to drink / going clubbing/ shopping/ going to a friend’s place, if our friends weren’t visiting us. Although, F&B options post 11pm-ish are hardly any in this city.
5) If there had to be a capital of ‘relocations’ in India, it would probably have to be Bombay. And somehow, there are countless ambitious-starry-eyed-youngsters that leave their homes to come and struggle their way up in Bombay. I say so, as I’m yet to hear of as many families that relocated to Bombay as much as I’ve seen the youngsters do. Could the reason for more youngsters moving to Bombay than elder people be that they hope to make it in Bollywood? Or could the easy going & chilled out impression of Bombay be the reason? As the post is by a metropolitan, educated woman from the service-class, stick to the same class and you may have the answer right there. Although a lot of ‘people’ that migrate to Bombay, do so to make it in the entertainment industry, be it movies, TV or another, the people and the lifestyle of Bombay would have to be the reason for the majority of this class for moving to Bombay. Every office has at least 10 youngsters from out-of-town, who work and live alone in Bombay. I’ve clicked with people and made friends the quickest in Bombay. Sometimes I wonder if it could purely have been because of my loneliness, craving for home food and missing family and other familiar things at that time? But it is always fun to hang out with people of your own age-group, who have time as much as you do, post office hours.
If Delhi has the gundas / babus / lalas / bhaiyas, Bombay has the 'Ghatis'. The expressions literally means 'uncouth' but can also be used for 'localites', 'trashy' or dhinchak(=loud. As in, too bright, lacking taste) kind of people. This shows how many non-Maharashtrians are there in Bombay to come with an expression like that.

a) Who hasn’t cursed the ‘traffic’ in Delhi during the rush hours, while crossing Panchsheel / Nehru Place / South Extension / ISBT / NH8. Just make one road trip from Andheri to Colaba and you would thank the Gods, Goddesses, your ancestors, your parents, the Delhi government, central government, MCD, people who thought of making the circles, parking authorities, even the Delhi traffic police and anyone else you could think of.
b) When I first stepped onto the Mumbai Central Railway Station, I had to gasp at the huge ‘crowds’ of people around. I thought it was because the holidays coming an end. When I stepped off the station and got to the main road, I thought we were passing some religious parade. When I went to my boy friend’s all-tiled-up-1BHK (bedroom-hall-kitchen) apartment for the first time, where he stayed alone while he was in engineering college, I thought that his billionaire father was keeping him on a very strict budget so the son can learn the value of money. When I traveled from home to office for the first time in Bombay, I thought a-lot-of the other roads must have been shut off by BMC or traffic police. When I went to my office for the first time in Bombay, I thought that it probably was a temporary set up. When I got to the cafeteria/ eating-area at lunchtime, I thought they probably believe in eating on their desks because of the work pressure. When I went shopping for the first time to Bandra, I thought it was a public holiday and some sale must be going on. When I went to a beach for the first time in Bombay, I thought some popular-music-concert must be going on there. It was all untrue. All was normal. And that was Bombay.
c) All Delhites, at some point or the other in their lives, have traveled by DTC, auto-rickshaws, metros, chartered-buses, office-cabs, personal-cars, inter-state-trains, planes, ships etc. Again, as I am talking from the middle-class point of view, DTC’s were only a compulsion that we had no choice in during school exam-days or later on during college. Apart from the fact that they always had been the ‘special-route-buses’ that pick you up from a point of walking distance from home, besides being much-less-crowded as they were ‘specials’. During exam time, your parents dropped you to the examination-centres and you took a general bus back home But that was in the afternoons, when these buses would be practically empty in any case. Post college, you start working, get your own car or bike and you get used to the small convenience. Come to Bombay and you’ll learn that to make it to the office in-time and the quickest, only ‘Local Trains’ work, if you stay in the ‘Suburbs’(Andheri, Bandra) and work in ‘Town’ (Colaba, Churchgate, Marine Drive) or vice-versa. Although there is an option of 1st or 'general' class and a separate 'ladies' compartment here, but the platforms remain the same. Besides the fact, that the 1st class or 'ladies' compartments would be equally crowded and stinky. I could not torture myself this way throughout my 8 months stay. Therefore, I traveled in locals, only and only when we had to go for meetings. And each of the first few times, yes, I managed to fall-down and got badly hurt, trying to get onto or off the locals.
d) I’d read somewhere once, that the ‘taste of food’ changes every 50kms. Imagine the difference between Delhi and Bombay then. Even though the sev-puirs, vada-pavs, pav-bhajis, pani-puris ,bhel-puris are God-sent, lets face it, one can not survive on junk. When you have a 24/7 job and when you are still, hunting for a place where you could live (space, location, construction and budget being the criteria), the restaurants, home-deliveries and other eateries are all you’ve got. Any normal vegetarian Delhite would go tired of eating Continental, Italian, South-Indian and junk. To say, that the Indian food in Bombay is so-full-of sugar and chilies, would be an under-statement. But thank-God for the ‘Not-Just-Parathas’ and likes that started opening up in Bombay. God-bless them. God bless them all.
e) If you’ve always ‘shopped’ for clothes, shoes and bags at GK1-M-block-mkt/ Shoppers-Stop/ South-Ex/ Gurgaon-Malls and if you are a working woman, good luck finding in the same budget, a piece which is not heavily-embellished/ ghastly-embroidered/ cut-from-here-and-there/ weird-in-style/ weird-in-prints/ weird-in-material/ weird-in-colour!
f) Everyone has heard enough about how heavily it ‘rains’ in Bombay and how little BMC does to fix the clogs. If you woke up one morning and see, waist-deep water clogged outside your house, when its pouring cats and dogs and decide not to go to work that day to save yourself from catching Pneumonia, any Bombayite would laugh at you. You would get fired from your job, for being unprofessional too.
g) Delhi has always been a place where you’ve had a huge variety of choice in terms of food, drinks, atmosphere, crowds as well as ‘music’ when you go out. You have all of them save the latter in case of Bombay. In Delhi, you always have a club or pub if you are in the mood to listen to some good Rock/ Hip-hop/ Trans/ Techno/ House/ Hindi/ Folk/ Gazals and of course the popular commercial music. Come to Bombay and save a handful of places, latest Bollywood, Remixes and Pop galores!!

I’d never planned to relocate. Did so, for romantic reasons. Once that was over, I applied for a transfer back to Delhi. And caught the first Rajdhani back once that got approved.
I guess, it is just about where you are more comfortable. And how easily you can adjust to new environments. Wherever you have grown up, would always remain the closest-to-perfect-place for you.
No place is good, bad or better. There are always two sides of every coin. Delhites know the flaws of Delhi and Bombayites know that of their city. Visitors notice everything and make their opinions. I for one, have never been a sucker for sudden changes.
Ponder on…S m i l e

Joys of life!...

2007-01-20T01:42:00.000+05:30

Elation in small things that we all tend to miss out upon…pure bliss in moments that should be cherished…absolute delight in experiences to be savoured.
Lets take a moment and think a bit about this, shall we?
Simple joys in small things…give anyone their perfect cup of coffee/tea/drink, anytime of the day… sheer delight. But perhaps we feel these are too little a reason for us to smile for! Is it?
Time passes by, while we keep leading the same mechanical life style of today's busy world. As if we were machines really. Working alongside our work aids, perhaps we have confused ourselves with them machines. ‘My comp’s still at it, isn’t it?’ But my friend, eventually, even machines crash once they reach their over-worked point.
Innumerous man-made diseases that would not have been there at all, had we been leading simple lives. And a simple life, by no means stands for the ‘cave-men’ life style. It’s all about enjoying the simple joys of life.
Loving someone and being loved by someone. Caring about someone who gives the same to us in return. Doing a job that we do with all dedication and honesty. The neighbourhood kids, our pet-dog, mom's-cooking, the small things that our loved go out of their way to do for us, the daily comic-strips, morning dew, the first showers, the perfect weather, boss's pat at our back, an unexpected gift...the list is endless. Still we choose to sulk?
Since off late, doctors often have been prescribing 'laughing clubs' to people suffering from heart diseases, exertion, anxiety or stress. And the number of people in these categories has been increasing at an alarming rate too. Isn’t that funny? Can't we even laugh by ourselves anymore? Is it that difficult?
We go to Cinema-halls to watch movies. We even pick on comedies. But still are too hesitant to laugh aloud at a funny scene! Why? Because, ‘we’re civilized people’, they’d say. Which, of course, would have to be one of the biggest myths about ‘civility’.
Open up my friend and laugh your heart out. Or simply smile at the next sweet/funny thing you notice. There is true happiness and such joys in everything around us. If you have your daily quota of smiling, religiously, you would never require any sort of treatment for stress. Because you won't have any. Give this a try.
Laughter is the best medicine. And so are simple joys. Mind-games and mysteries are a passé.
Ponder on...S m i l e

Proud to be an Indian!...

2007-01-19T05:08:00.000+05:30

There is so much to being an Indian that one can never be proud enough.
Unity in diversity is how any school kid would start. But there is so much more to it than the face value…The variety in languages, cultures, life styles, cuisines, climatic conditions, scenic beauties, architecture, traditions and even the great expanse itself.
The underlying roots & ethics that all of live by, even if subconsciously…Our respect for elders, teachers, family, food, jobs, parenthood, festivals, seasons, harvests, success are all the values that the West has been trying to ape for more than a decade now.
Our great history, heritage and level of acceptance that has tested time over centuries. One of the oldest civilizations, the golden bird, who has always had an enormous heart. Be it the Aryans, Iranis, Mughals, Portuguese, British or even the Americans, we have always accepted all, with arms wide open. The proof being, the large numbers that stayed back and made this country their home instead of going back after the invasion. Whereas, our country is perhaps the only country in the world, that hasn’t invaded any other.
But one could say, ‘All that is all what either God or your ancestors have given to you.’ The liveliness, spirit, vibrancy, colourfulness, hospitality could be one of the answer then.
It is not only our great achievers, in fields more than many, but also the common people that strive to make it better, day by day. There are already enough mentions about our great discoveries, inventions, Spices, Arts & Craft, technological genius, Software, Management, Media, Film, Advertising, Medicine, Finance (Chanakya) Fashion, Manufacturing Industry, Textiles, Agriculture, Self Reliability, Spirituality.
Can there be any other place in the entire world that has even half of all that we have? Doubtful.
Yes, there are the flaws. But doesn’t have any?
Before pointing fingers, have we ever considered our own innocence though? Can even one Indian that cribs about the flaws, swear that he/she hasn’t ever stolen (piracy/copying/lied their way through), littered, bribed their way through, missed elections, blindly followed hearsay that corrupt politicians/media/others spread, broken traffic or other regulations? Isn’t that pretty much all that we crib about? How ‘organized’ are we personally or even professionally is what the question should be, before any of these people even start talking about India.
Sad as it is, the same people seem to do all right once they step off shores.
We are perhaps the only country in the world that has always been respected, in spite of our political or economic status.
We are a country that has always moved with the times. The ever developing, ever evolving, the ever spirited and the forever warm motherland…my India, our India.
In conclusion, can we just say that considering its only been sixty years since we got independent and the fact that India is a 'developing country'-there’s a LOT to be proud of? I'd say!Ponder on...S m i l e

Human nature!...

2007-01-18T04:04:00.000+05:30

When our malice, viciousness, self-centeredness over-powers and makes us do crazy things, can we just let it go as its 'human nature'?
Children are pure and innocent. They don't even know what might hurt them, forget about, 'how they can take advantage of the people around'. They enjoy the simple pleasures of life like stealing cookies from the cookie-jar, flying kites, chasing balloons, jumping around in the rain water, doing themselves up with their mother's cosmetics and accessories!!
But as we grow, we gain intelligence, or so we think. We start understanding how we can grow even bigger. We start doing everything with a ‘purpose’. We make friends with rich/powerful/successful people, so they can pay the bills, out of many a things they can do for us , when we go out together or even give us some in the hour of need! We make friends with people in power, as they can be of help all the time. We make friends with good looking people, so we can flaunt them around. We gossip, because we need people around us and we probably think that they will not be around lest we tell them some juicy stories, for which of course, we'll HAVE TO add spices to the facts! We get jealous or rather insecure when our loved ones appreciate someone else.Why are we so unconfident of ourselves. Why can't we be ourselves? Without any fake, put-ons / following trends? Who said that we can't reach the stars...that we can’t make all our dreams come true, if the dreams are real enough?!
Why don't we wake up in the morning, go up to the mirror and tell ourselves that 'We are the best, we can do whatever we want in life.' Why can’t we decide for once in life to be honest and turn dedicated in whatever we do? Why don't we give everything our level best. If we can't help anyone, can't we at least decide against hurting anyone from now on? Why don't we let the Almighty feel good about having blessed us with a life in this beautiful world of His?
Learn from children my friend. See how pure and innocent their deeds are.
Sometimes what is right for me, might be completely wrong for you and vice versa. We all know what is right for us though, even if we refuse to admit. Still we go and try the easy way out in almost all situations of life.Where are we heading, has anyone thought? What is this mad chase all about. Why can't we live one day at a time, making the most of what we HAVE instead of cribbing about what we DON’T!!
Ponder on...S m i l e!

Living in concrete jungles!...

2007-01-18T04:02:00.000+05:30

Concrete buildings. A lot of people seem the same as the buildings around us, at times. We all tend to create walls around ourselves as well, why??
Big cities, big names, big job profiles, big cars, big houses, big monies etc etc. We are all running. Striving to make it bigger each day. Day by day. What for, if I may ask? 'For the coming generations', we used to hear till some years back. But when you are running so much all the time, when will YOU live? So now, the concept seems to have changed to 'so, I can live'. But my friend, is this life? Working like crazy all day, only to go back home, eat and sleep, as if we were machine and not humans.
Most professionals have been skipping meals in the past 5yrs, more than ever before. Either because they haven’t the time to stop and have the meals or they want to loose wait or because they are too tired to cook or even too tired to eat! Wonder, which fitness-expert suggests skipping meals?! I thought they all insisted on balanced diets, health food, exercising n stuff. Didn't they? Not skipping meals!!Most of the working population doesn't even sleep for more than a couple of hours a day. And on weekends or other holidays, they oversleep! That is if they aren’t working that day. Otherwise, holiday is a day when they would wake up late, have brunch, land up at a friend's place, shopping mall, restaurant, pub or movie-hall during the latter part of the day. Then either go out partying at night or have friends over.
Is this life then? Are you happy dear? Truly happy?
None knows or wants to know. We just go on...carry on with the rat race. As if, ‘today is the last day of our existence itself’. And ‘we have to accumulate / become as popular as possible in this short span of time’.When you're home sometimes, in your sober moments, don't you sometimes feel lonely my friend? Don't you feel a void sometimes? Maybe for someone you could talk to, I mean, someone you could REALLY talk to…not the general PC? Maybe some sort of uneasiness because of the speed at which you’ve been going?
‘Slaving for a better tomorrow’ is another expression heard often since the past few years. But let us not forget that there is no guarantee for a ‘tomorrow’ to start with! All we have for real is ‘now’. Do not let it go waste.
Do give this a thought. And look for your own answers. Hopefully, we could solve the biggest mysteries of the world this way, you never know…the passage to true happiness, peace & solace.
Ponder on...Smile!

Personality of the bloggers vs their blogs!...

2007-01-18T03:58:00.000+05:30

Inspired by DelhiBlogMeet

There are three kinds of bloggers usually:
1) Losers: Who are blogging / surfing / passing by just-about-anywhere on the Net to find ‘friends’! The “Can I friendship you” kinda people.
2) Introverts: People who have issues against speaking / opening up in reality. But can be ‘themselves’ to the world of Web…where they don’t have a face or even their real name necessarily…a place full of strangers.
3) Writers / Thinking People: People who have a lot of thoughts but don’t necessarily want to share them with people in real. I mean, lets face it…discussions on certain topics can be quite boring for a lot of people in real life. But on the Net, people who read you, after reading the title/subject of your post, are most likely the ones who genuinely want to read about those topics.
Please note that in this post, the ‘subjects’ are only the latter two.
The Net is a wonderful place. And God bless the person/ people responsible for it. People can say whatever and as much they want to…about whatever. Abundance of reading material / food for thought. The biggest Directory for articles / things / people / places…you name it!
In most cases, when people open up on the Net, it has helped them be themselves and be a much more relaxed, confident and it has turned them into a ‘thinking’ person.One of the psychologically proven facts is that when you write honestly or when you write your heart out, it helps your personality and your growth as an individual. Apparently it has even saved a lot of people from disasters like nervous/emotional-breakdowns, anxiety-attacks, other psychological diseases and even from heart attacks.
Writing on the Net, also gives people a chance to find other people who could appreciate them what they really are. And not what they seem / pretend to be in real life. In other words…true friends / a confidants / people who appreciate you / encourage you.
But in some cases, there have also been God-knows-how-many people that put on a fake character on the Net. For example:
(a) Someone who might come across as an average happy-go-lucky bloke in reality, comes across as a really deep person on the Net.
(b) Or someone who persistently, does just-about-everything-unhealthy-possible-on-the-planet, comes up preaching ‘Health is Wealth’ on the Net.
(c) And likewise, someone who could be the biggest liar of the century, may be the one who’s harping upon, the ‘importance of honesty’ on the Net.
(d) Pseudo Nationalists, bogus ‘Life is Beautiful’, pretentious ‘I’ve got the best sense of humour’ people…this list is endless
(e) There are also the ones who create their pages as a platform for ‘World Bitching / Brooding / Cribbing’Can’t say / don’t have the authority to say whether what these people do, is right or not. Because surely, everyone has their owns reasons for doing whatever they do. But yes, most people do not follow this school if thought (read ‘do not approve’).
Would it be fair to try and judge a blogger in real / on the Net vs. their personality on the Net? We can try and gauge what the blogger might be like from their blogs/messages. But one can’t ever say for sure what kind of writings an individual might come up with.
To conclude, would it not be fair say that the objective of most bloggers is to be genuinely honest to themselves for starters -given the anonymity factor on the Net?

Ponder on…S m i l e

Our National Language!...

2007-01-18T03:54:00.000+05:30

Off late, there have been instances that have made me wonder and ponder…the state of our National Language and our society’s acceptance levels for the same.
* Why do we tend to accept people with open arms the moment they utter a few words in correct English? (I guess, here people tend to think, if a person knows English he/she’s educated!! Ha ha…Being ‘educated’ from nowhere means being ‘civilized’ / ‘cultured’).
* Why we tend to question the educational qualifications of the people that don’t seem to manage decent proficiency in English?* On the other hand why do we tend to ‘roll our eyes’ or pretend to ‘not-understand-at-all’ when someone talks to in Hindi? (And most people I’ve seen do it quite proudly, mind you! ..."Oh, we are educated people. We don't follow the common man's tongue*in an uptight British/American/Australian/God knows which accent most times*")
* And again why we accept people with complete understanding when they don’t seem to manage decent proficiency in Hindi? (Only ADULT Indian nationals being the subject here. NRI’s excluded)
Food for thought!
Till date, I manage to get shocked the moment I see an Indian, who can’t speak or understand Hindi.And horror of horrors…the people in question here, do it like it is genuinely the LEAST of their concerns too!And how many times these people would mention, ‘Don’t understand this language AT ALL man!’ ‘But some of these songs are actually nice dude!’ ‘I think Amitabh is a rock-star, though I REALLY don’t follow anything they’re saying.’ ‘It’s actually NOT BAD for an Indian -movie/TV show / music video / Scientist / Doctor / personality, eh!!’
Wonder when the youth of our country would stop aping the west and start with the BASICS...respect yourself…respect your home…respect your family…respect your culture…respect your COUNTRY…respect where you came from.
The least one can do is to be proud of the country you live in, if you cant be proud of the country you may have been born in or your nationality otherwise.
Or else….there’s a very simple solution to their attitude, I’d say…BUGGER OFF FROM OUR COUNTRY!!!S m i l e

Change is the only constant!...

2007-01-18T03:35:00.000+05:30

I've been blogging some four years now. Was at a different place. With a different theme.
Back then there was a lot that I wanted to save and have all-at-the-same-place. So, net-space seemed like a great option... Journal, memories, information, music, quizzes, jokes and what not.
But somewhere down the line, I started enjoying the sheer pleasure of 'writing'...The idea of being able to express yourself. And how therapeutic! The blissful feeling in sharing your thoughts and speaking out; simple things like your own ponderings.
Here's to a new beginning. For a space, dedicated to 'food for thought'...S m i l e